After being inspired by a TED talk and a mock film festival at my ad agency, I decided to record a second a day out of my life for a limited time. I began on March 20th, 2013, and decided to end after recording sixty days, or sixty seconds worth of film. These are mostly just random moments, but I believe personal history is valid, and this became a kind of video journal project. So much had happened in the previous year: a new job for my husband, followed by a new job for me, a new house for our family, our son starting therapeutic school, and the passing of my father. I began to realize that our lives are made up of these big milestones that sometimes sneak up on us without our realizing how one thing leads to another and suddenly you’re dealing with nearly a whole new life for your family. But that life is also made up of tiny moments of simple beauty and the mundane.

It may or may not be apparent, but this project includes film some milestone events, including:

• A clean MRI for my son with epilepsy, followed by a clean EEG, allowing us to begin to taper medication he’s had since infancy
• A sisterhood ceremony after the unexpected death of a friend I knew through Mormon feminist circles
• Meeting my newborn niece for the first time
• The last days of my time at my ad agency job, as I begin a new job next week with more work-from-home flexibility

But it’s not just the big things that I found worthy of recording here. My life includes the mundane, the pensive, the relaxing, and the simple sublime:

• Conversations at lunch
• Meetings at work
• Driving my 2.5-hour daily commute
• Dropping my son off at his school for children with autism
• Listening to a choir sing on Easter
• Meditating at my dad’s graveside
• Watching robins dance and tulips come up in my new yard

By putting myself behind the lens, even if it was the camera of what I call the “stupidest smart phone ever,” I encouraged myself to take a step back and see how I view the world in my unique way, that I choose to value these social connections and delight in the dance of a toddler over the larger historical events that I could have recorded. I am an intuitive person by nature, which means that my internal and intellectual world is usually much more entertaining and inviting than the external one. That’s why I think it’s all the more important that I kept this visual diary of my life, that I can return to see how it felt to swing in that hammock and watch the light dance on my dress as it came through the new tender aspen leaves, or I can remember what it felt like to be held by my husband on a Saturday afternoon, or to discuss career options with dear friends over a weekday lunch.

What would your visual diary look like?

Read More

“There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessing are predicated – And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.”  Doctrine & Covenants 130:20-21.

If ever a person mistook God for a vending machine, I think she could be found looking through a lens made of this scripture.

It troubles me.

It makes our relationship to God sound like a transaction, like we can cash in our obedience for blessings.  And where is grace?  When we obtain any blessing from God it is because we were obedient???  I have too many blessings I don’t deserve for that to be true.

For example, I recently took a trip to visit family, alone.  As I was leaving our hotel I dropped my wallet, but didn’t notice until we got to my Grandma’s house, two hours away.  Amazingly, someone had taken my wallet to the lost and found, nothing missing.  He also thoughtfully called my office and left a message telling me it was safe.  Without my wallet I don’t know how I would have flown home the next day, and my family really needed me home because without me there the day would have been a scheduling disaster (Uh, hello dear daycare provider, can you keep my kids till 10:30 pm?  Yeah, I know the 2 year old has been there since 8:30 this morning…)

Getting my wallet back safe was a blessing, but I did nothing to deserve it.  I didn’t pray it safe (by the time I noticed it was missing it was already locked up in the hotel safe), and I felt the light touch of the spirit telling me this wasn’t a reward for any past honesty.  It was pure grace.  Undeserved and freely given, as so many blessings are.

I think other scripture, particularly King Benjamin’s address (Mosiah 2:18-24),  establishes that blessings are not necessarily the result of obedience.  So why is this scripture saying they’re connected?

I can accept that good things come from obedience.  I think the critical issue is causality.  If blessings as a result of obedience require divine thought and action, for example God choosing and bestowing particular blessings in response to particular acts of obedience by us, then that feels transactional, and potentially capricious.  But what if there is a law (existing from before the foundations of this world) which dictates that natural consequences will flow from obedience (or disobedience) to moral principles?

For example living honestly brings the reward of having people trust you and not needing to live with anxieties created by lying.  Being faithful to a spouse means getting to enjoy intimacy and trust.  Not coveting leaves mental space that can be filled by better thoughts.  Or for a Mormon-specific kind of obedience, keeping the Word of Wisdom might mean you don’t tempt fate with your predisposition to addiction.  All of these blessings are inherent to the behavior, not an external reward layered onto it.

This to me is consistent with the logic of natural laws.  When you multiply mass and acceleration you inherently get force.  The universe doesn’t wait for God to make the force when a mass is accelerated, it simply exists.  Maybe this odd scripture in the Doctrine & Covenants is explaining a natural law.  Maybe God’s goodness and wisdom is in giving us commandments or principles that when lived lead naturally to happiness.

I’ve never liked the word obedience.  To me it connotes manipulation and control — a person more powerful than me offering a carrot if I’ll comply with his wishes and a sick if I don’t.  I can be motivated by carrots and sticks, but I’d like to think I’m more motivated by love.  I’d rather use the word allegiance.  I’d like to give my allegiance to principles (or commandments, if we must) that are part of equations that naturally yield good things.

Allegiance also leaves room for agency.  To be sure some level of agency is exercised when we comply with commandments received from authority.  This may be what God has in mind for us, at least initially, as a way of getting us started on right paths.  But surely this kind of because-I-said-so obedience is not where we are meant to stay.  We are meant to have changed hearts (Alma 5:14), loving good for goodness’ sake.  Choosing good because we love God and our neighbors.  I think allegiance is obedience with agency fully engaged.

What’s your comfort level with the word obedience?  Are you bugged by it, or of all the things to be bugged by, maybe this really doesn’t rise above the noise?

Read More

Enjoy this podcast, and take our poll!

Terry Tempest Williams on her mother’s mystifying bequest

Source: whyy.org

Twenty-five years ago, TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS’ mother died of ovarian cancer, and she left Terry 54 journals, one for each year of her life. Later, when Terry went to read them, longing to hear her mother’s voice again, she found that each one was blank. In her book, “When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations on Voice,” Williams meditates on why her mother might have left the journals unfilled. What did that signify to her mother? What was her mother telling her?

Listen to the podcast here.

Read More

To prepare this lesson, I think it’s helpful to look at both the Young Women’s outline and the Young Men’s.

For much of my life when I’ve had a lesson on the priesthood in Sunday School or Young Womens, I’ve thought, “Well, no use listening to this. I’m not allowed to have the priesthood.”  It can be challenging to find ways for girls to engage in this subject. They may be apathetic at best or hurt and angry. April posted some excellent ways to foster discussion in her YW’s lesson earlier this month. I would also add that in these lessons it is important to get women’s teachings in here as much as possible.

I have questions for the class in italics. My own musings in regular font and parts from the outline online in bold.

I think the first minute of this clip is great, particularly when Elder Oaks says, “Men are not the priesthood. The priesthood is something they exercise on behalf of the sons and daughters of God.”

So, what is the priesthood?

“The priesthood is the authority of God delegated to men on the earth to act in all things for the salvation of mankind (see Spencer W. Kimball, “The Example of Abraham,” Ensign, June 1975, 3)”

Elder Ballard says, “Brothers and sisters, the power by which the heavens and earth were and are created is the priesthood…Not only is the priesthood the power by which the heavens and the earth were created, but it is also the power the Savior used in His mortal ministry to perform miracles, to bless and heal the sick, to bring the dead to life, and, as our Father’s Only Begotten Son, to endure the unbearable pain of Gethsemane and Calvary—thus fulfilling the laws of justice with mercy and providing an infinite Atonement…”

I also like Elder Packer’s simple definition, “The priesthood is the eternal power of God.”

Read More

Since moving back to a family ward I have spent most of my time working with the youth.  Other than a brief stint as a Relief Society teacher (cushiest calling ever…) I have either worked in the Sunday School with the 14-15 year olds or as the Laurels advisor.  I found Sunday School to be particularly challenging, both because the mixing of genders often changes the dynamic, and because you tend to have less of a personal relationship with the kids than if you work in the Young Women/Men organization.  To make matters worse, when I was teaching Sunday School we were still using the Gospel Doctrine manual, which had no suggested activities and was in no way tailored to help teachers reach teenagers.  I like to think my frequent complaining letters about this through lds.org helped them move toward the new curriculum.

The women of Exponent II were having a conversation on the backlist about how to work with youth and there were so many good ideas that we decided to make it into a post.  Many of these ideas come from the other bloggers. If you readers have any more ideas of how to make church more engaging for teenagers, we would love to hear them.

Classroom management:

• If this is the first time teaching your class, have all the students introduce themselves and say what grade they are in, where they go to school, and what they are interested in doing post-graduation
• At the beginning of class, go around and ask everyone what the highlight of their week was.  Giving a space to discuss something other than the lesson makes them more likely to listen and interact positively during the lesson itself, and gets every kid talking.  This can also be a useful filler during the time you’re waiting for students to file in.
• Whatever the lesson is, tie it to their lives (news of the week, scandal etc.) Apply what principle you’re teaching, for instance ask “was the Holy Ghost with the people in that situation?” let them debate it.
• Ascertain your students’ reading levels and have them participate accordingly.  If you have students who really struggle, plan to have them share quotes that are modified to meet their reading level so they can participate without feeling embarrassed.  Similarly, if you want a long complicated quote to really make an impact, think in advance who is a strong reader and save that quote for them while encouraging others to participate elsewhere.  Reading aloud is an important skill to develop, especially in the church, but an atmosphere of shame or dread will make teaching Sunday School that much harder.
• Pick up on little things (side talking, rocking in chairs, shredding paper on the floor) and call them out.  Do this consistently so they don’t walk all over you.
• Bring food.  This is cliché, but consider when your ward meets.  Mine meets from 11-2, which means my class is always hungry.  You could use it as a reward for good behavior, or simply to get the blood sugar high enough that they are able to engage.  It doesn’t have to be a treat, I have brought cherry tomatoes, carrots, fruit slices, crackers and other snacks.  I often bring wet wipes with me to avoid the inevitable “may I go to the bathroom to wash my hands?” exodus that seriously disrupts a lesson.  When their physical needs are met, they’re better able to attend to the Spirit.  I think so anyway.
• Try starting a lesson with ascertaining their knowledge levels.  This is particularly important with younger teens who have not been in Seminary or had several years of Sunday School under their belts.  Ask them what they know about X, maybe putting their answers on the board.  At the end of the lesson check back and add things they may have learned to your list, and ask if they feel comfortable with their knowledge levels or if more instruction on the topic would be helpful.
• Call on specific students to give the prayer, rather than waiting for someone to volunteer.  One of my tactics is to call on someone for the opening prayer and then have them choose who gives the closing prayer.
• If necessary, reassign seats.  This might be particularly true if you have visitors and your class is being cliquey.  Having them sit next to someone new, then do an introduction activity to help the class be more attentive and to have more group spirit.
• Once a month have one of the students teach the lesson, particularly if you have an older class.  They will soon be going on missions or teaching in singles wards and getting a little practice and instruction in a safe place would be valuable experience.  Students often listen closely to one of their own.  It also helps the student who teaches have more appreciation for the work that the teacher does every week.

I’m a firm believer in trying to meet different learning styles, even though I personally respond best to reading and discussion.  Here are some alternative presentation ideas:

• Role playing.  Some kids are hams and like to be the center of attention.  Harness that by having them act out scripture stories.  Provide props to make it more dramatic and memorable.
• Drawing.  If you’re having a more quiet lesson, harness their doodling powers for good.  I often provide art supplies and have them make illustrations for the lesson.  You might give them a scripture or a principle to illustrate then explain to the class, or you could have them draw while you talk and explain, then show what they learned at the end.
• Play-doh.  This is like the drawing activity, but a different approach.  It helps keep kids focused on something and gives them something to do with their hands.  I used it for a lesson on the creation, but it could be applied in other ways.
• Dioramas.  One Sunday I brought a bunch of playmobils (legos or action figures could work well too) and some premade prop pieces and we made dioramas to illustrate the lesson.  I think that one was about Daniel and the lion’s den and Shadrach Mishak and Abednego.
• Journaling.  Keep notebooks in a church closet and have them on hand for the start of a lesson.  I like to start lessons with an introspective question e.g. what are your big questions about your future? (for a lesson on Patriarchal blessings) What is one time you had to forgive someone for something they did to you? etc.  I give them five minutes to write something and then I have them share if they feel comfortable.  It gets the ball rolling, helps them to gather their thoughts and means you have a supply of examples you can tie the lesson back to throughout.
• Journals are also helpful for extending weekly challenges.  I have them write down what they’re going to do that week to apply the lesson at the end of class.  Then we start class by asking how they did and what experiences they had.  Generally they forget, but having it in writing at least reminds them they should be applying the lessons.
• Have them copy what people in the scriptures did in a more literal way.  For example, when teaching about the Ammonites burying their weapons of war for peace, have them write on slips of paper what they needed to let go or work on, then go and bury the papers in the ground outside.  When teaching about the Title of Liberty, have them make a list of things they would stand up for and share it.

These are only a few ideas among many possible approaches.  The new manuals do a better job of tailoring the lessons for youth, but a little creativity doesn’t go amiss.  What approaches have worked for you? What were your favorite lessons as a teenager?

 

Read More

Affiliating

A temple recommend criteria violation for consorting with trolls.  Or feminists. Or both.

 

Anti-Mormon

This is a word used by trolls to express disdain and vie for the honor of being placed in permanent moderation.

Read More

During Sunday School this weekend I sort of zoned out.  The teacher was talking about worship and what it meant to worship and I was expecting any minute for someone to say, “The Bible dictionary defines worship as blah blah blah.” I lifted the little bag of Lindt chocolate to decide which flavor I’d eat next (my reward for being a woman!), but before I could disengage further, my friend Colleen raised her hand and said a bunch of awesome stuff. Her main point was that there are many “languages of worship,” just as there are “love languages,” like preferring service, gifts, touch, etc. as a means of expressing our affection, of course there must be various means of expressing worship.  Here are some she mentioned along with a couple of my additions:

Music: For many churchgoers, music is the language of the spirit. In the preface of our hymnbook it states: “Hymns can lift our spirits, give us courage, and move us to righteous action. They can fill our souls with heavenly thoughts and bring us a spirit of peace.”  Lots of us feel closer to God when singing than when doing anything else. I am always touched at the Exponent Retreat when many women are move beyond words as we unite in voice. I am not one of these people. However, when I hear Pandora Brewer sing “Hie to Kolob,” I am converted. At least temporarily.

Intellectual: These souls are fed through lively intellectual discourse.  These are the saints who sit on the edge of the pew when there’s a powerhouse speaker who knows their doctrine cold and uses their field of expertize to illuminate and expand our understanding. These folks love the gospel doctrine class that digs deep and isn’t afraid to leave the manual behind.  The Spirit of God is intelligence.

Symbol/ritual: Mormons love to poo poo other faiths’ reliance on ritual.  But symbol plays a large role in our church as well, and there are many saints who crave it.  The sacrament is the pinnacle and purpose of our weekly worship service and people will go to great lengths to partake of it each week. Additionally the temple is obviously rich in symbol. I remember thinking when I first took out my endowment, “So HERE  is where all the ritual has been hiding…”  Many of my friends’ parents are motivated socially by ritual as well and only visit grandkids when there’s a blessing, baptism, or priesthood advancement occurring. Substitute ordinance for ritual, and this is the thing that holds it all together for some folks.

Emotion/Empathy: For other saints certain emotions facilitate the spirit.  When talks and testimonies contain personal, moving stories, these guys FEEL the connection. Sometimes we tease these folks for being quick to tears, but that is their way of manifesting they feel the Spirit, so cut them some slack.  These passionate saints worship with all their heart, love hearing and telling tender stories, and have empathy to spare. This style makes me think of the prophet, Thomas Monson.

Service- Some saints are doers. They are forever in motion and need to be actively serving to feel they are worshiping.  These are the folks who magnify the callings that have them helping/teaching/working with others. I have one such friend who doesn’t show up on Sunday if she doesn’t have a purpose. These are the gems who show up with meals and help you pack. Not that other people won’t, but the servers among us do it not out of obligation, but because it brings them closer to the Lord. “Unto the least of these…”

Meditation: I debated whether I should label this as prayer, but meditation seemed to be a bigger umbrella for the ways in which many of us worship through quiet, mindful, often solitary practices. My father loved to sit for hours in his study and read the scriptures. He would never have used the word “meditate” but he’d emerge as peaceful and centered as a yogi. During the sacrament this week I glanced at the brother behind me and was struck by his posture. Back erect, eyes closed, hands resting palm up on his knees. His kids were bustling and for a second I thought he was asleep–but he was just so peaceful.  As I was trying to focus on renewing my own covenants it dawned on me that he was meditating, something that I do during the week when I want to connect with the divine. But it never occurred to me that I could bring that practice with me into my meetings.  Call it pondering things in your heart, communing with God, these guys are masters at internal reverence.

Obviously there are many other ways of worshipping, and most of us rely on more than one method to seek the divine. What was instructive to me about my friend’s comment was how different we all are in our spiritual quests and how important it is to allow for as many “worship languages” as possible during our services. I know I need to work on valuing the languages that are not my native tongue.

What language works best for you? What languages do you think are undervalued/underrepresented in LDS services? Which languages are privileged? How can we encourage languages that feel foreign?

Read More