How do people reconcile needing the hospital, but not liking the attitude of people there? I have a good Ob/gyn that respects me. But my baby has cleft lip and palate so I’ll be dealing with a lot of folks after the birth and I’m afraid they’ll whisk him away and I’ll have trouble bonding and feeling like it’s MY birth. Any pointers?

If you want an epidural and feel that is the best way for you by all means get one. Some people back in the day thought that giving women pain medication in labor was somehow denying God his right to hear the cries of women during childbirth. Apparently some people thought that the “Curse of Eve” forbade women to receive pain relief during childbirth. Feminists in the early 20th century included pain relief during childbirth as part of their agenda in addition to getting the vote.

I used a midwife and loved it. I was surprised at how many women did not know their options, which can vary according to state. I got asked all the time if I was planning on a home birth and if I could get an epidural. I delivered in a hospital with an epidural with my midwife their with me.

What I really would like to see is women understand the many options available to them and then receive the support they need in their choice. Be it homebirth, birthing center or hospital with a midwife or doctor.

For me I took a great big gulp and wanted a homebirth, but was foiled with the first pregnancy due to gestational diabetes. I didn’t want to take insulin so with other births I have been extremely regimented. My doctors AND midwife have agreed that if the GD stays under control I could have my home birth.

I use tons of exercise, cactus (yes cactus), cinnamon, mushrooms and more. They all help to keep the GD under control. I’m expecting another baby now and my numbers have never been better.

mostly it just made me realize how controversial an issue child-birth is. almost every aspect from conception to breast-feeding and beyond a mine-field of ‘right ways’ and ‘wrong ways’.

Not so wonderful, of course, was being so numb that I couldn’t even push. Didn’t even know how to. My doctor was annoyed and impatient that I couldn’t push the baby out quickly. And I was shaking pretty hard afterwards, which I think might have been epidural related. But I think I’d take all those things again for the blissful release from the pain…

I’ve given birth twice, both with a CNM in a hospital, and both with hypnosis. The first, my boy, I had been seeing a professional hypnotherapist. It was hard for me, and I had pretty severe back labor. Labor lasted about twelve hours, and I begged for an epidural. My midwife was awesome, and knew I really wanted to go without that, so she just gave me something to take the edge off and it helped. I gave birth laying on my side, if you can believe it. My recovery was super-quick, and I never had to take any of the motrin the nurses kept pushing at me afterwards. I felt very powerful for having done it; but at the same time I was floored by how intense the pain was. Beforehand I had asked my hypnotherapist to make me a hypnosis recording that I could practice with and take to the hospital; but she didn’t. She felt like if you just relaxed enough the pain wouldn’t be so bad. Afterwards I knew that wasn’t enough for me. I was scared to do it again.

BUT, The Boy was 9 months old when I discovered I was pregnant again. This time I discovered Hypnobabies, which I highly, highly, highly recommend. The theory behind this is that you train your mind that you are not feeling pain, jut pressure. And gosh darn it, it worked! I started practicing in my 5th month. The day I delivered The Girl I cleaned my house, had visiting teachers over, got a pedicure, and went to my appointment with my CNM. I expected to just pee in the cup and go home like always, but she said I had to go across the street and check in at the hospital, because I was dialated to a 6 already. When I got registered and the monitors hooked up (which I hate, hate, hate, BTW) the nurses were amazed because I was having really strong contractions, and they just felt like those braxton-hicks to me. Apparently I was in active labor, and I didn’t even know it! The hypnosis worked AWESOME. (Although, it’s a good thing I had an appointment that day or I may have ended up w/ a homebirth whether I liked it or not!) Start to finish it was 3 hours. My second was so much easier, partly because of the Hypnobabies, partly because I didn’t have back labor that time, and partly because I kind of knew what to expect.

Part of the hypnobabies training was to visualize a light that would enclose your body, and it would BE your anesthesia. I had a hard time visualizing the light, so I visualized my great-great grandmother, who I’ve done a lot of research on. I pictured her as an angel, glowing bright blue-white; and when she put her hand on my belly the light spread from her. For some reason that was easier for me. I have to share– when I was actualy in labor, I pictured Lillian as usual, but unlike when I would practice it, she was not alone! There were several women with her, including my father’s mother who died earlier that year. I don’t think I was the one who created the picture in my mind of all those women helping me– I feel very strongly that they were actually there. It was amazingly spiritual to bring my daughter into the world surrouded by the women who came before us. That is half the reason I wanted to give birth unmedicated– because my great-great grandmother Lillian, who I felt so attached to though we’ve never met, had 8 children all at home. I wanted to feel a closeness to her, and I knew she would help me. I can’t wait to meet her in person one day!

I would not trade my CNM for the world’s greatest OB. I started out with an OB with the first, but I felt like I was in a factory when I went to appointments. She didn’t ask me any questions, she didn’t give me information– it was just assumed I either knew what was going on, or else I didn’t need to know and she would take care of everything. When I switched to the midwife I was amazed that she took the time to counsel me and educate me and talk about not just my physical feelings, but emotions too! The only thing I didn’t like was that she was required to use fetal monitoring, and I hated that. That big elastic band around my middle hurt more than the contractions did, and it made me so uncomfortable. When they finally cut it off right before The Girl crowned, I gasped and moaned with relief; and the nurses joked that I sounded as relieved as if the baby had already come out. Man, I hate the monitoring. I want to look into a birthing center next time, specifically because of that. That was my biggest complaint about both deliveries.

The moral of this long story is CHECK OUT HYPNOBABIES!!! Best. Program. Ever.