Comments on: Doubt http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/ Am I Not a Woman and a Sister? Sat, 31 Jul 2010 22:13:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Kiri Close http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12052 Kiri Close Tue, 28 Jul 2009 09:53:36 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12052 'truth' is just a word. ‘truth’ is just a word.

]]> By: Brooke http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12051 Brooke Tue, 21 Jul 2009 03:40:26 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12051 Thanks for this post, Zenaida. Very raw and personal. I will read it often. Thanks for this post, Zenaida. Very raw and personal. I will read it often.

]]> By: Susan Wilson http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12050 Susan Wilson Thu, 16 Jul 2009 18:21:16 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12050 I can't answer what truth is for you, however I do know that truth is eternal and unchanging. What can and does change is our own perception of it. It is interesting from reading your article and the posts below - one point seems to be common. Perhaps I will not express it as best as it could be, but I will try. The common thread seems to be one of how our perception of truth changes when we face significant disappointment or life not turning out how we want it to. I'll give an example from my own life. I have been married twice, both times to mormons. One a convert, the other a mormon with pioneer ancestry. The first offered a sealing but soon broke the covenants and wasn't able to find the strength to resolve the issues. The second can't offer a sealing due to unresolved and outstanding broken covenants of his own and isn't able to find the strength to resolve the issues. A casual reading of this could lead you to think that the second at least should understand the significance of the sealing and or lack of it to his spouse and should know better. Life however is not so black and white. I can say this, marriage is not wasted, and the only choices we are responsible and accountable for are our own. I have found the peace of God as I have sought to understand what will happen to me in the eternities in the absence of a spouse who wants to make the attempt to go there together with me. I have learned the absolute truth of this: if I, as an individual, do the very best that I can under the life circumstances I face, if I try my best, then the lord truly will withhold nothing from me. One of the great challenges in that is to love my current spouse wholeheartedly, without reservation, even though I have had a spiritual witness that he will not, in my lifetime, resolve the outstanding issues that prevent him from offering me a sealing. It doesn't matter, I still have to live the best life I can under the circumstances. I don't have to look any further for meaning than that! I wish you well in your search for truth and meaning as you face the vicissitudes of life. I can’t answer what truth is for you, however I do know that truth is eternal and unchanging. What can and does change is our own perception of it. It is interesting from reading your article and the posts below – one point seems to be common. Perhaps I will not express it as best as it could be, but I will try. The common thread seems to be one of how our perception of truth changes when we face significant disappointment or life not turning out how we want it to.

I’ll give an example from my own life. I have been married twice, both times to mormons. One a convert, the other a mormon with pioneer ancestry. The first offered a sealing but soon broke the covenants and wasn’t able to find the strength to resolve the issues. The second can’t offer a sealing due to unresolved and outstanding broken covenants of his own and isn’t able to find the strength to resolve the issues. A casual reading of this could lead you to think that the second at least should understand the significance of the sealing and or lack of it to his spouse and should know better. Life however is not so black and white.

I can say this, marriage is not wasted, and the only choices we are responsible and accountable for are our own. I have found the peace of God as I have sought to understand what will happen to me in the eternities in the absence of a spouse who wants to make the attempt to go there together with me. I have learned the absolute truth of this: if I, as an individual, do the very best that I can under the life circumstances I face, if I try my best, then the lord truly will withhold nothing from me.

One of the great challenges in that is to love my current spouse wholeheartedly, without reservation, even though I have had a spiritual witness that he will not, in my lifetime, resolve the outstanding issues that prevent him from offering me a sealing. It doesn’t matter, I still have to live the best life I can under the circumstances. I don’t have to look any further for meaning than that!

I wish you well in your search for truth and meaning as you face the vicissitudes of life.

]]> By: Jill http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12049 Jill Mon, 13 Jul 2009 06:33:02 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12049 Just wanted to say thanks for this. I have a lot of the same questions and doubts. Growing up in a very active, believing, orthodox home, I never EVER pictured myself doubting, and if not for some unexpected events in my own life, I probably never would have. But, having started down the path of questions, I know I will ever look at the church in quite the same way again. I will never have the "simple faith" I once had. And like you, it pains me so much to face the disappointment of my loving, devout parents. Thanks again for sharing, and know that you're not alone. Just wanted to say thanks for this. I have a lot of the same questions and doubts. Growing up in a very active, believing, orthodox home, I never EVER pictured myself doubting, and if not for some unexpected events in my own life, I probably never would have. But, having started down the path of questions, I know I will ever look at the church in quite the same way again. I will never have the “simple faith” I once had. And like you, it pains me so much to face the disappointment of my loving, devout parents. Thanks again for sharing, and know that you’re not alone.

]]> By: EmilyCC http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12048 EmilyCC Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:32:09 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12048 Thanks for this post, Z. I often wonder (mostly due to <a href="http://the-exponent.com/2008/02/04/the-path-of-least-resistance/" rel="nofollow"> Jessawhy’s “Path of Least Resistance” post </a>, if I'm able to keep going in the Church because I do have the Mormon fairy tale. I don't know that I'd be in the same position if I was still single. (In fact, I highly doubt I would be.) Thanks for this post, Z. I often wonder (mostly due to Jessawhy’s “Path of Least Resistance” post , if I’m able to keep going in the Church because I do have the Mormon fairy tale. I don’t know that I’d be in the same position if I was still single. (In fact, I highly doubt I would be.)

]]> By: Zenaida http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12047 Zenaida Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:28:40 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12047 Kaylana, and AS, you and me both. You both sound more patient in those struggles than I have been. What keeps you going? Why do you try to continue faithful? mb, "Where my friend sees black and white I see some black, some white, a million shades of gray and many mistakes and misconceptions. The more I learn the more I realize that none of us, even the most divinely inspired, see the whole thing as it really is and all of us, even the most enlightened, have built parts of our lives on foundations that are based on error and faulty thinking, mingled with our own psychological needs for reason." I love that. That was a hard lesson to learn, and I'm sure I'll continue learning it the rest of my life. I like to think of my errors as the windows I've carved into the walls to see more clearly. Kaylana, and AS, you and me both. You both sound more patient in those struggles than I have been. What keeps you going? Why do you try to continue faithful?

mb, “Where my friend sees black and white I see some black, some white, a million shades of gray and many mistakes and misconceptions. The more I learn the more I realize that none of us, even the most divinely inspired, see the whole thing as it really is and all of us, even the most enlightened, have built parts of our lives on foundations that are based on error and faulty thinking, mingled with our own psychological needs for reason.”

I love that. That was a hard lesson to learn, and I’m sure I’ll continue learning it the rest of my life. I like to think of my errors as the windows I’ve carved into the walls to see more clearly.

]]> By: Zenaida http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12046 Zenaida Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:21:49 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12046 Maria, I want to agree in details. Details like "I believe in Jesus Christ," or "I believe in Allah," are so individual, but it seems like there should be fundamental ethics that tell us things like, "Life is precious." Lolo, I also relate to the need for "One True Church" vs. the church as guidepost. G, I'm with you. :) D'Arcy, It's nice to know that others are finding their truth. Have you found anchors that keep you grounded? I find myself wandering a lot. Carol, Navigating the human element is a difficult thing. It's been interesting for me to see the human failings that take place in church structure, because we are all human. It takes more than I thought to see the full beautiful, flawed, human person and love them for it. A, I don't know about an acceleration. It's possible. From what I can tell, the accessibility of information is accelerating curiosity and questioning among a lot of people in the church. And as for guilt... That's a tricky thing. I've faced some pretty tough consequences that have affected not only myself, but those closest to me in pretty dramatic ways from holding on to guilt. I wish you all the best in your exploration! Maria, I want to agree in details. Details like “I believe in Jesus Christ,” or “I believe in Allah,” are so individual, but it seems like there should be fundamental ethics that tell us things like, “Life is precious.”
Lolo, I also relate to the need for “One True Church” vs. the church as guidepost.

G, I’m with you. :)

D’Arcy, It’s nice to know that others are finding their truth. Have you found anchors that keep you grounded? I find myself wandering a lot.

Carol, Navigating the human element is a difficult thing. It’s been interesting for me to see the human failings that take place in church structure, because we are all human. It takes more than I thought to see the full beautiful, flawed, human person and love them for it.

A, I don’t know about an acceleration. It’s possible. From what I can tell, the accessibility of information is accelerating curiosity and questioning among a lot of people in the church. And as for guilt… That’s a tricky thing. I’ve faced some pretty tough consequences that have affected not only myself, but those closest to me in pretty dramatic ways from holding on to guilt. I wish you all the best in your exploration!

]]> By: A http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12045 A Mon, 06 Jul 2009 23:57:30 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12045 This is remarkable. Is it just me or do you seem to see an acceleration of women in the church having these same questions lately? I love Lolo's description of "True", and it helps me to see things a bit less painfully. Isn't this difficult? Being born and raised (another Mo cliché), it's really hard to even let yourself ask these questions. Now if I could just get past the guilt associated with the curiosity. This is remarkable. Is it just me or do you seem to see an acceleration of women in the church having these same questions lately? I love Lolo’s description of “True”, and it helps me to see things a bit less painfully.

Isn’t this difficult? Being born and raised (another Mo cliché), it’s really hard to even let yourself ask these questions. Now if I could just get past the guilt associated with the curiosity.

]]> By: Carol http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12044 Carol Sat, 04 Jul 2009 16:25:14 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12044 I've been doing a lot of soul-searching during the past year as I've faced some difficult challenges. Two things I know for sure: that God lives and that He loves His children. As I focus on that, I find great peace. Sure, I have questions, ie. why did Joseph Smith practice polyandry when adultery is clearly considered a sin in all scripture, including the BofM and D&C? Why do Church leaders excommunicate female abuse victims and leave the abusers in leadership positions? Why are woman sometimes treated as slaves in wards where the leaders delegated many of the most difficult duties to the RS? Although I am troubled by the injustice and sorrow that I experienced and seen, I am comforted and strengthened by the knowledge that God lives and that He loves His children--and that everyone who has ever lived is a precious, infinitely loved child of Go.d I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching during the past year as I’ve faced some difficult challenges. Two things I know for sure: that God lives and that He loves His children. As I focus on that, I find great peace. Sure, I have questions, ie. why did Joseph Smith practice polyandry when adultery is clearly considered a sin in all scripture, including the BofM and D&C? Why do Church leaders excommunicate female abuse victims and leave the abusers in leadership positions? Why are woman sometimes treated as slaves in wards where the leaders delegated many of the most difficult duties to the RS?

Although I am troubled by the injustice and sorrow that I experienced and seen, I am comforted and strengthened by the knowledge that God lives and that He loves His children–and that everyone who has ever lived is a precious, infinitely loved child of Go.d

]]> By: D'Arcy http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/07/02/doubt/comment-page-1/#comment-12043 D'Arcy Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:28:57 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=2985#comment-12043 i've learned more and more throughout life that truth is changeable. That goes against everything that the church teaches, but for some "truths" (and maybe they aren't truths) I have changed. I used to believe everything the church told me, now I pick and choose and find my own truth. Do I believe that there is life after death...yes...do I believe that only people who get temple work done will go to "heaven"...no...there are so many things that sit better in my mind than what I used to hold as concrete truth. And truthfully speaking, I like my life better now. i’ve learned more and more throughout life that truth is changeable. That goes against everything that the church teaches, but for some “truths” (and maybe they aren’t truths) I have changed. I used to believe everything the church told me, now I pick and choose and find my own truth. Do I believe that there is life after death…yes…do I believe that only people who get temple work done will go to “heaven”…no…there are so many things that sit better in my mind than what I used to hold as concrete truth. And truthfully speaking, I like my life better now.

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