But I think the application still applies to women in different walks of life, to follow their path and not worry so much about what path others are on. Of course, feeling that we’re on the right path would hopefully lead us to cut others some slack, while questioning our own choices may lead us to criticize others as we seek further validation. But I think insecurity does not always arise from sin or choosing unwisely. It can arise from our needs as women to feel like we need to be the same, or our tendency to pre-judge someone else’s life based on our surface-level knowledge. That’s what I hope we can learn to avoid.

Another point that stands out to me about the Mary/Martha story though is that Jesus *does* make a judgment about it; he tells Mary that she has chosen “the better part.” I don’t think he thought Mary and Martha were doing equally good things. I’m not sure what the application would be in our lives from that – maybe that what we choose can be right for us, but not for someone else, and the only one who can truly judge is the Savior.

Alisa – I’ll need to go dig up Pres Faust’s talk. I just need to learn to put things on the shelf – I want to do all of it, all the time!

I’m really grateful for your insights. I know when I get critical it’s because I struggle with my own choices at times and therefore others are doing the same. Amazing, thanks again!

I sometimes interpret the passion in other women for their choices the same way. Learning to be comfortable with our good choices is probably a life-long lesson, I think.

Moniker Challenged, I feel for you. I have to admit that my dad was the one who helped me see that “my Mary” could develop a thicker skin when it comes to the choices I feel are right and what others think of them. This has always been a challenge for me (as you can tell from my post). I think compassion is the best choice for me when other people criticise, particularly without real knowledge of my circumstances, and then I just go and do what I think is right anyway. Some people have a limited view, but over time it can change. People have backed off of being so critical of me. I’m 29 without kids, and I actually feel less pressured to conform now than I did five years ago. I definitely wish you the best.

Lyn, great questions. While I see these three things as counsel (and not so much commandments – finances, education, and procreation are all deeply personal choices and necessarily customized to the individual), I see what you mean. The only solution I can come up with is that all three can eventually be done, but perhaps all not at the same time. That’s why I really love President Faust’s talk on this. He expains individual timing for children, career, eduction, etc. It seems very open to individual adaptation at any given point, or at least that’s the message my spirit received when I studied it.

I’ve had to work hard not to take other women’s (sometimes passionate) defenses of their choices as a put down of my own. When I succeed at doing this, our sisterhood is strengthened. I hope I’ve made a start on overcoming my deep insecurities.