Comments on: Isaiah http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/ Am I Not a Woman and a Sister? Thu, 09 Sep 2010 06:21:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: D'Arcy http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14112 D'Arcy Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:41:03 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14112 I agree, this story is all about hope and I love hope! I agree, this story is all about hope and I love hope!

]]> By: Dora http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14111 Dora Sat, 19 Dec 2009 01:14:23 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14111 Due to a communication mix-up, I got the title and handle wrong! It's now been corrected, and stands and cruelestmonth originally envisioned it. Due to a communication mix-up, I got the title and handle wrong! It’s now been corrected, and stands and cruelestmonth originally envisioned it.

]]> By: Feminist A http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14110 Feminist A Fri, 18 Dec 2009 23:42:13 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14110 The legal reforms Ebrown mentions are making a difference. However, there is a substantial backlog of children that came into foster care before reforms were made. The older the child gets, the more likely they will be on their own with no family to support them when they turn 18. The program I work with focuses exclusively on older children. But, despite reform, white families in Germany and the UK adopt black babies from the US because we can’t find homes for them domestically. The legal reforms Ebrown mentions are making a difference. However, there is a substantial backlog of children that came into foster care before reforms were made. The older the child gets, the more likely they will be on their own with no family to support them when they turn 18. The program I work with focuses exclusively on older children. But, despite reform, white families in Germany and the UK adopt black babies from the US because we can’t find homes for them domestically.

]]> By: EBrown http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14109 EBrown Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:53:45 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14109 During significant chunks of my career I've worked on dependent child cases, most often representing parents, but with a substantial number of abused and neglected children cases. This post is so heartbreakingly true. One of the descriptions that particularly hit home was the image of Isaiah's personal belongings being transported in garbage bags; rolling backpacks and suitcases would be so welcome in giving these children a shred of dignity. These children are "throw away." We throw away their possessions, their security, their lives. If you ever had the occasion to read probation reports or social studies on the incarcerated, the vast majority of them had chaotic and abusive childhoods. The law has changed to prevent children from languishing in dependency, with adoptions happening very quickly for children 3 and under. However, don't believe the anti-choice rhetoric that all children can find adoptive homes. Isaiah was lucky. p.s. May I post this on my blog? During significant chunks of my career I’ve worked on dependent child cases, most often representing parents, but with a substantial number of abused and neglected children cases. This post is so heartbreakingly true. One of the descriptions that particularly hit home was the image of Isaiah’s personal belongings being transported in garbage bags; rolling backpacks and suitcases would be so welcome in giving these children a shred of dignity. These children are “throw away.” We throw away their possessions, their security, their lives. If you ever had the occasion to read probation reports or social studies on the incarcerated, the vast majority of them had chaotic and abusive childhoods. The law has changed to prevent children from languishing in dependency, with adoptions happening very quickly for children 3 and under. However, don’t believe the anti-choice rhetoric that all children can find adoptive homes. Isaiah was lucky.

p.s. May I post this on my blog?

]]> By: Feminist A http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14108 Feminist A Fri, 18 Dec 2009 21:43:51 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14108 Thanks for the fantastic feedback! I will follow up with a future detailed guest blog on adoption. Here are some of my responses to questions and comments: 1. Yes! Singles (even poor ones) can definitely adopt. When adopting directly through a government child protective services agency there is no marriage or income requirement. You will become a licensed foster care provider in the process of being certified for adoption. The government will pay you to adopt a foster child. The basic rate paid to foster parents in your area will be paid to you monthly until the child is 18. 2. Why so many moves? Well, did your parents ever want to give you away when you were a teenager? Kids move from foster homes because the caregivers request their removal or because there is an allegation of abuse in the home that requires the child be moved. 3. Isaiah’s story is the exception, not the rule. Many children are waiting for the healing power of the atonement to reach them through the love of a parent/s. 40% of foster children will be homeless. 4. If you live in the Washington D.C. or Los Angeles area you can become a weekend host/mentor like Isaiah’s “Weekend Family” without any requirement that you adopt. Please check out the Kidsave Weekend Miracles Program http://kidsave.org/weekend.shtml Thanks for the fantastic feedback! I will follow up with a future detailed guest blog on adoption. Here are some of my responses to questions and comments:

1. Yes! Singles (even poor ones) can definitely adopt. When adopting directly through a government child protective services agency there is no marriage or income requirement. You will become a licensed foster care provider in the process of being certified for adoption. The government will pay you to adopt a foster child. The basic rate paid to foster parents in your area will be paid to you monthly until the child is 18.

2. Why so many moves? Well, did your parents ever want to give you away when you were a teenager? Kids move from foster homes because the caregivers request their removal or because there is an allegation of abuse in the home that requires the child be moved.

3. Isaiah’s story is the exception, not the rule. Many children are waiting for the healing power of the atonement to reach them through the love of a parent/s. 40% of foster children will be homeless.

4. If you live in the Washington D.C. or Los Angeles area you can become a weekend host/mentor like Isaiah’s “Weekend Family” without any requirement that you adopt. Please check out the Kidsave Weekend Miracles Program http://kidsave.org/weekend.shtml

]]> By: EmilyCC http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14107 EmilyCC Fri, 18 Dec 2009 20:22:46 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14107 It's so good to know that there are social workers like you out there, Feminist A. Thank you for telling a story that would have otherwise been lost. It’s so good to know that there are social workers like you out there, Feminist A. Thank you for telling a story that would have otherwise been lost.

]]> By: jks http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14106 jks Fri, 18 Dec 2009 20:21:05 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14106 I also want to know why do kids in foster care get transferred so much? I think A LOT about the foster care system and how messed up it is. I would love to know why kids are often moved out of foster homes where things are going well. I also want to know why do kids in foster care get transferred so much? I think A LOT about the foster care system and how messed up it is. I would love to know why kids are often moved out of foster homes where things are going well.

]]> By: Kelly Ann http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14105 Kelly Ann Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:06:52 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14105 Dora, I look forward to a second guest post addressing singles adopting foster kids. I've considered it. Several years ago, I even asked the Bishop if the church had a stance and he said it was a personal decision (although others I know frown on intentionally becoming a single parent). I went to an informational session at a local agency but decided I should wait, although it is exceptionally common for singles to adopt. I have since bought a house and still consider it ... maybe at 35, is my current thought. I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and the subsequent discussion. And thanks, Feminist A for sharing this thought. It really really moved me. I really want to someday help a kid like Isaiah. Dora, I look forward to a second guest post addressing singles adopting foster kids. I’ve considered it. Several years ago, I even asked the Bishop if the church had a stance and he said it was a personal decision (although others I know frown on intentionally becoming a single parent). I went to an informational session at a local agency but decided I should wait, although it is exceptionally common for singles to adopt. I have since bought a house and still consider it … maybe at 35, is my current thought.

I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and the subsequent discussion.

And thanks, Feminist A for sharing this thought. It really really moved me. I really want to someday help a kid like Isaiah.

]]> By: Molly http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14104 Molly Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:17:17 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14104 I can't stop crying. Isaiah must have been an unbelievably valiant spirit to have been tested so strongly. Proof positive, that sometimes enduring to the end brings happiness while we're here. What blessings you'll receive for enduring with him! I can’t stop crying. Isaiah must have been an unbelievably valiant spirit to have been tested so strongly. Proof positive, that sometimes enduring to the end brings happiness while we’re here.

What blessings you’ll receive for enduring with him!

]]> By: Ziff http://www.the-exponent.com/2009/12/17/cruelest-month/comment-page-1/#comment-14103 Ziff Fri, 18 Dec 2009 05:50:58 +0000 http://the-exponent.com/?p=3896#comment-14103 Thanks for this beautiful post! Thanks for this beautiful post!

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