Last Friday Modern Mormon Men featured two alternative viewpoints on patriarchy: “modern patriarchy” and “reluctant patriarchy.” I was wary of reading the piece on “modern patriarchy” based on a couple of quotes I’d already seen from it, but I read it anyway.  Because I like Modern Mormon Men.  Because I have been saying for a very long time that gender equity will not be a reality in a meaningful way until we seriously examine the gender roles we impose on men, as well as those we impose on women.  And I respect that the MMM bloggers are engaging in that project—the project of asking what it means to be a Modern, Mormon, Man.

Well I read that post, and I tried to do so with an open mind.  And I hit this gem on the nature of “righteous dominion”:

It is children heeding, submitting to, and honoring the counsel of their parents as their parents act within righteous patriarchy. It is wives hearkening to, submitting to, and honoring the counsel of their husbands as their husbands act within righteous patriarchy. And, it is husbands leading, persuading, and gently guiding their wives and children as they follow, honor and submit to the counsel of God.

I felt physically ill.  I kept reading.  And I found an even bigger doozy:

Recently I was listening to Krista Tippett’s On Being (a favorite public radio show of mine); her guest Kate Braestrup (a chaplain to the game wardens in the parks and forests of Maine) made a comment about Christianity that had me first a bit angry and then a bit sad. Here’s what she had to say:

Krista Tippett: You point something out that’s very simple, but really striking and unsettling in good way and bad. That even when the miracle . . . is of a life restored that is always a temporary restoration and you say that most of the time, perhaps, a miracle can only be the resurrection of love beside the unchanged fact of death.”

Kate Braestrup: “This is an argument I have, probably a continuous argument that I have with Christianity, I always felt that it was answering a question I wasn’t asking.

A few years ago, my dear friend J’s father, D, died.  He was a very sweet man and his children wanted to honor his memory at the funeral.  D had grown up in rural Idaho and had always loved the old 50s cowboy shows; “Home on the Range” was one of his favorite songs.  When J and her siblings met with D’s bishop to discuss funeral arrangements, they indicated that they’d like to have someone sing “Home on the Range” in D’s honor.  The bishop referred to the Church Handbook of Instructions (CHI), which says: “Music for funerals might include prelude music, an opening hymn, special musical selections, a closing hymn, and postlude music. Simple hymns and other songs with gospel messages are most appropriate for these occasions.”  While this passage doesn’t explicitly forbid secular music, D’s bishop interpreted it in that fashion and refused to approve using “Home on the Range” during D’s funeral.  J’s siblings went along with the bishop with no real resistance, and J was left feeling sad that they could not honor their father with this song he had loved.

This is not the only Mormon funeral I know of that hasn’t been very considerate of the mourners.

Power, prostitution, sex, revenge, and . . . a Mormon bishop?  I was intrigued.  How could a romance, complete with explicit sex, involve a Mormon bishop as its hero?  I confess that was the only reason I picked up Moriah Jovan’s Magdalene after her editor named it “the Mormon book of the year” on an internet forum.  I am a romance reader–romance as in bodice-ripping, explicit-sex-containing, titillating romance, not just chick lit.  I know the tropes and themes of romance novels well.  And I just could not imagine how this genre could lend itself to telling the story of a Mormon bishop without violating the truths about what it means to be not only an active Mormon, but a bishop.  So I picked up the book to find out how Jovan, a practicing Mormon herself, accomplished that feat.

A few weeks ago, Sybil began a new podcast meant to give voice to and explore the issues important to Mormon women: Daughters of Mormonism.  She has modeled her project in part on Mormon Stories and Mormon Expression, which she has found very valuable.  But Sybil says,

“I’ve been greatly inspired and helped by Mormon Stories and Mormon Expression, but I always wished they talked more about the ways that the church affects women. Then one morning, I woke up and realized that probably the reason they didn’t was because both of these podcasts are run by men, who are trying to give voice to their experiences. If I wanted a podcast about my experiences as a woman in the church, I needed to gather some women around me and do it.”

Sybil would like to include the voices of a variety of women who identify as Mormon.  Her project has already been gaining attention in the Bloggernacle and looks like it will be an amazing endeavor.  I met Sybil a week ago or so and will be participating in her project and am very excited to do so.  I hope you’ll take the time to listen to some episodes and comment when you feel so moved.

If you’d like to subscribe to the podcast, it’s available via the iTunes store.  If you have a personal blog or blog at a group blog in the Bloggernacle, please do help spread the word.