Today in General Conference. I’m writing this before Conference starts in my time zone, so I don’t know what is happening.

I was involved with Let Women Pray from the beginning, and now we are at and end. We asked that women pray in this General Conference. So what happened, and more importantly, how do you feel about it?

I can guess at my own reactions. If a woman prays in Conference, I will be pleasantly surprised. I will feel proud of my role in Let Women Pray and what we had a hand in accomplishing. I will be proud of the church for including women for listening to the concerns and feelings of some of its members, and for not balking at listening to public opinion.

If a woman doesn’t pray, I will not be surprised. I will be proud of my role in Let Women Pray and of the members who expressed themselves to their leaders. I will be disappointed that the church did not make a simple change to help some of its members feel loved and included and feel the missed an opportunity to show that they care about how members feel.

How do you feel?

Is the LDS church compatible with everyone’s temperament, or does it cater to certain kinds of personalities?

I’m currently reading Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. As an introvert, it has been an interesting and helpful read. It discusses what makes introverts unique and successful, and how we function in a world that tends to cater to extroverts. One of the questions the books poses is: how does religion cater to introverts and extroverts. I’m running off a definition of introverts drawing energy from being alone, preferring to work independently, and feeling uncomfortable with crowds and people they don’t know and extroverts drawing energy from others, preferring to work in groups and enjoying spending time with and meeting new people. Because introversion and extroversion are only one aspect of our personalities, we can’t say that church is good or bad for all introverts or extroverts. But I think it is an interesting discussion to have; how does the church cater to introverts and extroverts?

This is not my favorite book about Mormon women, but I loved this chapter. This opening quote by Boyd Packer showed what Relief Society can be for the women of the church

“This great circle of sisters will be a protection for each of you and for your families. The Relief Society  might be likened unto a refuge–the place of safety and protection–the sanctuary of ancient times. You will be safe within it. It encircles each sister like a protecting wall.”

As I read this quote, I was reminded of Spunky’s last two visiting teaching message write-ups. In February’s message, she shares a time when she felt alone and unloved in Relief Society, and in March’s she talks about a time when she found a friend and felt included by at least one person. I think we have all had similar experiences in Relief Society; I know I have. I have been in Relief Societies where I felt that no one knew me and no one cared whether I was there or not. But the one I currently attend is wonderful; they make me feel loved and welcomed even with my strong opinions. This chapter explores the best of what Relief Society can offer women.

Worldwide Sisterhood/ A Place of Refuge:

These sections share Boyd Packer’s story of traveling to wards behind the Iron Curtain. He asked the Relief Society sisters he spoke with if he could take a message back from them when he spoke at the next General Relief Society Meeting. One sister wrote “A small circle of sisters send their own hearts and thoughts to all sisters and begs the Lord to help us go forward.”

I love the opening quote of this lesson. “Do not expect to become perfect at once. If you do, you will be disappointed. Be better today than you were yesterday, and be better tomorrow than you are today.” Too often we get bogged down in not being perfect right now, and feel guilty for not being good enough. The lesson itself acknowledge this at the end when it says “President Snow acknowledged that the command to be perfect causes concern for some Latter-day Saints. As you study this chapter, look for counsel that might comfort someone who is troubled by the command to be perfect.” I would love it if this lesson focused on making people feel good about their progress and hopeful for success. So here is what I find comforting; I hope some of it is useful to others.

What Does Perfect Mean?

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m currently involved in the Let Women Pray event. As I’ve watched the comments from the opposition, I’ve seen numerous people make the claim that there is no need to push for gender equality in the church, because men and women have separate roles, but are still equal because each role is important. After seeing this argument all over Mormon feminist pages, I looked it up on the gender equality section of mormon.org. Here are some of the statements I found.

“The LDS Church believes that women and men are equally important, but we have different roles to play in our lives. Women are more nurturing my nature, so it is our great privilege as women to be mothers and wives. That doesn’t mean that we lose ourselves in our kids or husband. They are an extension of us, as we are of them. Men and women are equal, but not the same. Just as men have their strength, so do women.”–April