This is a post by Kendahl, aka kmillecam, and is a part of the Queer Mormon Women* series. Click HERE to see all the posts to date.
A lot has happened since the last time I wrote a post for The Exponent. Over the years I have written about ceremonies, healing, and bodily rights. I have written about my journey in Mormonism and feminism, and found solace in the voices here, blogger and commenter alike. This particular brand of feminism here at The Exponent is my cup of tea. These women are thoughtful and accepting. You can see my other previous posts here.
As I perused the body of the work I have done here, I see that I have left out a defining portion of my life. I am a Queer Mormon Woman*.
I have been officially “out” for a little over a year. On National Coming Out Day, October 11, in 2013, having come out to a few people in my life, I decided to finally write a post on Facebook about how I identify as a queer woman. It was a spur of the moment decision, and really just served to make official what most people already knew about me. I was in the process of my divorce, and I was dating women exclusively.
I will be 35 this year. I don’t know why, but that detail is prominent to me. I keep finding that I beat myself up for not “figuring out the gay thing” earlier in life. After all, I was an LGBTQIA+ advocate for several years. I even identified as bisexual for a few years before I finally realized that I am queer. And my partner Corinne has known she was gay, in spite of also growing up in a Mormon family, since she was about 15. Why has it taken me so long? Why wasn’t it obvious to me?
My sister has expressed that she has known this about me for a number of years. My late grandmother said the same when I came out to her about a year ago.