When I was very new in my career, I wrote a pamphlet.  If I were to rewrite this particular pamphlet today, I would delete a quote I took from a reputable source that stated, “You would have to gain 100 pounds to equal the health risks of smoking.”

I had the best of intentions when I included that quote.  Smoking is extremely damaging to the human body and I sincerely believe people should not smoke.  Some people are afraid to quit smoking because they might gain weight.  The “fact” I included in the pamphlet could encourage them to make the right decision.

However, as I gained more experience in my profession, I learned to dig a little deeper before I accepted facts, even if they came from a reputable source. 

Read More

A week and a half ago, I attended my first ordination.  It was awesome.  It was a beautiful mix of music, sermons, and the act of ordination by the Unitarian Universalist congregation itself.  I couldn’t help but feel that the young woman I knew was answering her call to ministry.  I was particularly impressed how the congregation participated in the recitation of the act of ordination as well as the ceremonial laying on of hands.  As a minister pronounced a blessing, the new minister’s family and friends came forward, followed by all the ministers present, followed by the choirs, and anyone who wanted to participate.  It was rather beautiful to see the mass of people in front of the church extending down all the aisles connected by hands – supporting and blessing the new minister.

 

After the ceremony, a friend asked me what I thought of my first ordination.  Then she backed stepped a little, clarifying what did I think of the Unitarian ordination, saying I probably had attended other ordinations in the Mormon church.   I answered no – it wasn’t the same.  That I considered this indeed my first ordination.  That yes I had sat feeling like an imposter in the back of the Priesthood session where my brother was ordained an Elder and later when my step-dad was ordained a High Priest.  But that given all men were ordained to the Priesthood, it simply wasn’t the same.  She then asked me if going on a mission might be more comparable.  I answered that yes I was set apart with a small group of friends present, that I gave a talk to the ward expressing my enthusiasm for the calling when I left and when I returned, but again that it was simply not the same.  I expressed to her how I found it moving that the congregation participated and that it really was an event.  If anything, I would compare it to the temple in some ways.

 

Having visited churches with female ministers, when I attend Sacrament Meeting, the maleness of the leadership strikes me.  I hope for the day when there will be women leaders in front giving more than prayers and talks.  That women will someday be on the stand presiding and offering ordinances and counseling other women.  I believe that women should be ordained to the Priesthood.  But I am also struck by the differences in the ordination process between different faiths.  And while I enjoy discussions between faiths (there was a panel at Sunstone West this weekend about dialogue between Catholic and Mormon women who want ordination in their Patriarchal traditions), I can’t help but wonder about the fundamental difference between our religion and others.  The Priesthood being given to all men in our faith is fundamentally different than when someone feels called to the ministry and is ordained by their congregation.  It makes it hard for me to envision what the ordination of women would look like in the Mormon church.

Read More

After the previous nine chapters discuss themes throughout the history of the Relief Society, this concluding chapter is the call to add yourself to that history. This chapter is full of great quotes and it would be very easy to pick your favorites, read them, and then discuss them, which is what I’ll do here.

Daughters of God

This section has a quote from M. Russell Ballard that I really like. As an opening activity, I would have this written up on a board and ask the class to pick out traits listed in it and circle them or list them on the side. I highlighted some of them here:

“We believe in and are counting on your goodness and your strength, your propensity for virtue and valor, your kindness and courage, your strength and resilience. We believe in your mission as women of God. … We believe that the Church simply will not accomplish what it must without your faith and faithfulness, your innate tendency to put the well-being of others ahead of your own, and your spiritual strength and tenacity. And we believe that God’s plan is for you to become queens and to receive the highest blessings any woman can receive in time or eternity.”

I think it is interesting to note that the most-used word is strength.

When I was growing up, one of my Young Women’s leaders moved away. One of her last Sundays at church was a Fast Sunday and one of her non-member neighbors came to church with her. This neighbor went up to the pulpit and talked about the service that my YW leader had done for her and said, “When I look at her, I see Christ. She looks like Christ to me.” I think that is probably one of the highest compliments I’ve ever heard. These traits highlighted above are all Christlike traits. And not only are we like Christ, because we take on Christ’s name at baptism, we walk every day as if we are Christ himself and can be saviors for others and ourselves. When I went to the Relief Society minutes where the quote from this chapter is found, the minutes note that Joseph Smith stated, “It is an honor to save yourselves.”

True Charity, a Legacy Passed from Heart to Heart

In this section, I like Elder Eyring’s quote,

I will speak to you … of the great legacy those who went before you in the Relief Society have passed on to you. The part … which seems to me most important and persistent is that charity is at the heart of the society and is to come into the heart, to be part of the very nature, of every member. Charity meant to them far more than a feeling of benevolence. Charity is born of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and is an effect of His Atonement working in the hearts of the members. …

The sentence “Charity meant to them far more than a feeling of benevolence” struck me. I would even say it’s more than filling out a tithing slip or making dinner for someone. After the last section and thinking about how we are like Christ, I think that charity asks us to see Christ in the people around us. The chapter tells some stories of charity demonstrated in the lives of the women in a family, but I think it would be neat to have a story of your own to share or have the group share their own stories.

My Turn to Serve

What I like about this next section is the stories of service relating to death. Now, I’ll be the first one to say that I get worn down by the third, fourth, fifth, etc. dying child story in a single conference weekend. Talking about death can be draining and sometimes feels emotionally manipulative. But I liked the emphasis on the service rendered during the time of death. I think that because it can be difficult in our culture to discuss death and grief, having examples of appreciated service can be helpful for when we find the people around us, or ourselves, in mourning. This is really where we can “mourn with those that mourn” and the Relief Society can really live up to its name. Again, personal stories are great for this, but it’s sometimes nice to have the stories from the manual if it’s too hard to share personal stories about grief.

“Lead the World… in Everything that is Praiseworthy”

This is the rally cry and ultimate urging of this book: band together, pick up your tools, and be amazing. The heading for this section is not passive and is not timid, and neither should we be. What I really like is the phrase “everything that is praiseworthy.” If you think about all the things that are praiseworthy… well, it’s a lot of things! Art, science, performance, parenting, mediating, etc. I can’t think of too many non-criminal activities that aren’t praiseworthy. So take charge and live the best you can.

At this point, I think I would ask the class if they can identify what is keeping them back from doing something “praiseworthy” that they’ve always wanted to do and if it’s possible to remove that. That can provide a lot of discussion.

For me, the biggest hinderance to this is feeling like it’s too late, that I should have done all those praiseworthy things earlier. I’d write off things, “I can’t become a great pianist- I didn’t start lessons at 5!” or “I’d never be able to contribute anything to my field of study- only young people in college do that.” However, earlier in this chapter, the phrase, “potential as holy women” is used, and when I think of a “holy woman” I imagine a wizened and thoughtful older woman. There is still time!

I also get held back if I worry that I won’t succeed or if I can’t give the time needed for success. But even a little bit is a success.

In preparing for this lesson, I listened to the TED talk Unlock the intelligence, passion, and greatness of girls by Leymah Gbowee, peace and women’s rights activist and Nobel laureate. Trigger warning: rape, incest.

In watching her tell her story, I was impressed by what she and the girls and women she talked about were able to accomplish in such a short time. Gbowee got involved in activism in 1998 and was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2011. She admits that she wasn’t saving the girls asking to be saved at the beginning. While a listener might say, “Just take that little girl in!” And maybe it wasn’t the best choice, but maybe it was. Our lives don’t have to be perfect to make things better. I also think of the character Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. His change of heart was near the end of his life and that’s ok, too. Or if you’d like a non-fictional character, there are plenty of scripture stories like Saul/Paul in the New Testament, or the woman caught in adultery: “Go and sin no more.”

I think the biggest concern with discussing this chapter is feeling like we have to do it all and immediately. Sometimes “leading in all that is praiseworthy” requires a nap or a break. And knowing your limits is praiseworthy, too.

The chapter finishes with a reminder that,

“The charge to lead out in everything that is praiseworthy, Godlike, uplifting, and purifying is a demanding one. It always has been. But individual Relief Society sisters are not alone in accepting this charge. They are part of a great organization, founded by priesthood authority and strengthened by the teachings and declarations of prophets.”

One of my favorite aspects of Mormonism is the idea of Zion and that we are all working for that, and we are all working together. We believe that Zion has happened on earth at least a couple of times (Enoch’s city, the Book of Mormon peoples post-Christ’s visit), and so it gives us hope that we can again create it. It’s hard, but not impossible and let’s get to it!

What questions/thoughts would you like to add? Also, a Happy Relief Society anniversary to all today!

 

Read More

The place to begin to improve society is in the home….We are trying to make the world better by making the family stronger.

President Gordon B. Hinckley, 1997

Temporal Responsibilities and Eternal Roles

The title of this chapter invokes a powerful image, one that hearkens back to ancient Roman times where priestesses kept ritualistic hearths in service to the gods. Women have always played an important, yet often unrecognized role in keeping and protecting hearth and home. In fact, the lesson gives examples of women throughout the scriptures who have done exactly this.

Faithful women and men have been true to this theology of the family and followed these standards, doctrines, and practices whenever the gospel has been on the earth. “Our glorious Mother Eve” and our “Father Adam” were leaders for their children, teaching them “the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.” Rebekah and Isaac ensured that priesthood covenants and blessings would not be lost for their family. A widow in the city of Zarephath was able to take care of her son because she had faith to follow the prophet Elijah. Two thousand sixty young warriors fought valiantly to protect their families, trusting their mothers’ promise that “God would deliver them.” As a young man, Jesus Christ “increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man,” nurtured by the love and concern of His mother, Mary, and her husband, Joseph.

It does not matter if we are single or married, mothers or childless, each of us makes up an important piece of our mortal and human families. We will perform our roles differently depending on our individual circumstances but each of us does so in good faith.

Read More

As many of you know, this is the final week of the “Let Women Pray” letter writing campaign in which All Enlisted, the group behind the Pants Day, has asked women to write letters asking general authorities to allow women to pray in general conference.

 

I haven’t written a letter.  I don’t have an issue with the idea of writing letters.  And in theory, I would love to see women pray in general conference.  But I find myself conflicted by the campaign.

 

It starts with the word “let.”

 

While women have never prayed in general conference (see DefyGravity’s introductory post here), I think the reason men pray has more to do with the fact that there are more male general authorities.  The prayers are generally offered by the 70s – serving as an introduction of sorts.  The general auxiliary leaders are given rotating opportunities to speak.  For me, the true balancing act would be to start asking the general board members of the primary, young women’s, and relief society to pray – not the women auxiliary leaders.  Which I suppose would be nice, but to me is a much more radical change – which quite frankly I don’t know that I rank highly on the list of radical changes I want in the church.

 

While I guess I could put some of the above into a letter, my main concern is that I don’t like the method of mass petitioning.  I’ve been put off by some of the Facebook memes.  While I credit the campaign for gaining some media attention, in the end, I don’t see it as being effective. Maybe I am overly skeptical but I am not sure that the general authorities will even read the letters.  I see them putting a wall up when they hear about a mass campaign versus coming across an invidual letter that isn’t as confrontational.

 

It’s possible that in the future there is something that strikes my passion and maybe I’ll change my opinion about letter writing campaigns but for now, I am admitting, maybe a bit unpopularily amongst Mormon Feminists, that I am opting not to participate in this campaign.

 

That said – I do respect the campaign.  I see other people’s passion and smiled seeing Tophat’s daughter’s video.  I think it is good for individual people to express their opinions.  I believe calling attention to matters of equality is important.  And generally, it has made me happy to see All Enlisted take the energy from the pants event (which I saw as a coming out day for Mormon Feminists more than anything) into a specific issue.  I hope All Enlisted and other activist groups like WAVE will continue to tackle specific issues.  Even though I wish there was a way to tackle them all at once.

 

I think a lot about what is the best way to go about asking for change.  I really don’t know that I have better ideas.  And I’ll be honest, I don’t know that I have the energy and passion to fight a long uphill battle.  So for now, I will just say that I respect those who do.

 

In terms of discussion, I’d like to ask why have you or why have you chosen not to participate in the Let Women Pray Event.  What do you think are the best ways to implement change in the church?

Read More

by Kelly Ann

Yesterday morning, I think my jaw dropped when I heard that Pope Benedict had submitted his resignation.

After having repeatedly examined my conscience before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry.

I am well aware that this ministry, due to its essential spiritual nature, must be carried out not only with words and deeds, but no less with prayer and suffering.

However, in today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to steer the ship of Saint Peter and proclaim the Gospel, both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months, has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognise my incapacity to adequately fulfil the ministry entrusted to me.

My immediate response was ”good for him.”  I have tremendous respect that he was and is willing to recognize his limitations.  And that in so doing, while there has been precedent for papal resignation, that he defied 600 years of tradition and was willing to potentially disappoint 1.2 billion Catholics.

My secondary response was the question of whether or not a LDS church president would ever do likewise.  Our church shares the tradition of life-long callings and has had a number of ailing presidents – notably Kimball, Benson, and now possibly (rumored) Monson.   I would have an equal respect if the Prophet was ever to do likewise.

I am curious to know how other people here responded (although in googling for this post, I did come across some reactions at By Common Consent).

What do you think of the Pope’s resignation?

Do you think it is fair to make a comparison between the Pope and the President of the Church?

Do you think the President of our church would ever resign?

If so, how do you think it would be perceived in light of the papal announcement? 

Do you think there could be a particularly negative response given he would be following another tradition? 

And more generally, how do you think the church would respond if there were any changes to our succession in leadership.

I am left thinking about how if President Monson resigned or died, that although we say that any of the twelve could be come Prophet, that given our history, it is assumed that the senior member would become President.  Because I’ll be honest – I don’t like the idea of Boyd K. Packer as Prophet …  For that reason, it makes me cringe a little to think about Monson resigning or dying.  I would like to believe that in terms of succession, that some type of revelation will be waiting for us the next round.  And that as a church, we would positively respond to it.  But I am not so sure about that.

The other thing that intrigues me about the news reports about Pope Benedict is that titles of follow up articles tend to focus on people’s shock and disbelief and grief …  And while people are expected to drop their jaws, I also really hope that this is just the media exaggerating  and that Catholics will embrace this change.  I’ll admit that I am really curious to see who is chosen to be the next Pope.  It would be awesome if he was international.

I do believe that whether indirectly or directly that the way other church’s work does impact ours – at least for the correlary perception of members.

Read More