Guest Post by Nick
Traducción española/Click for Spanish Translation
I wouldn’t usually share such a personal experience, but in sight of recent events, I hope my words can bring peace to somebody somewhere. I am a convert to the LDS church. As a young gay man I had the secret hope that it would be “the cure” of my homosexuality. But it wasn’t. Nearly 10 years ago, the elder who taught me went back home to his country and had never been able to return. Until this week.
Little did I know how perfect the timing would be when he said he wanted to meet and hang out. Although I haven’t been very active lately, I do consider myself a mormon, I love church and moreover, I love the gospel. Back when I was 16 I received a strong testimony of Christ and the nature of God and His plan. It brought me peace. But everything fell apart when I came to terms with my sexuality 3 years ago.
My church leaders knew about my sexual orientation, but it wasn’t a big fuss even when they suspected I was in a relationship. The deal breaker was when I started showing support for women ordination in my social media, and questioning some aspects of church history. I was quietly shunned from activity in my ward and somehow I lost the little privilege I still had. I talked to this missionary through the Internet, I opened up my heart and he listened. He didn’t question. He loved.
So what were the odds of meeting him yesterday, just one day after the heinous policy adjustments? Friday morning I was seriously contemplating to send a resignation letter to church headquarters, I was in a very tangible suicidal state like I had never been before, in big part due to many other stuff going on at home lately. I felt I was this very little moth being dragged into a big void of eternal uncertainty. No eternal family up, no eternal family down. Where was I?Read More