Christmas Series: For those without a gift for giving gifts

big present IMG_3432I do not have a gift for gift-giving.  I am overwhelmed as the holiday season approaches and I ponder gifts for my kids, who are already bored of the gifts I gave them for their birthdays; my parents, who already own nicer things than I could afford to buy them; and my husband, who only ever wants specialized hobby equipment that I am not even knowledgeable enough to buy.  It seems that anything I can afford to buy en masse for my neighbors and coworkers is junk.

So I have scoured the Exponent archive for tips for remedial gift-givers like me. Exponent blogger Whoa-man, who is a natural at gift-giving, shares tips for choosing the perfect gift in The Art Of Gift Giving. I marvel at the thoughtfulness of the gift highlighted in Jessawhy’s Birthday Gift From My Pro-Feminist Husband. Here are some great thoughts about children’s gifts by Emily U: What Kinds Of Toys Did You Buy For Christmas. A guest poster resolves the neighbor gift dilemma with Simple Gift Suggestions For Friends Who Are Not LDS and these ideas for a Mothers Day Gift From Bishopric To Women would also work well as neighbors’ Christmas gifts. Emily CC reminds us that sometimes we don’t need to pull off the perfect gift, A Good Enough Christmas is good enough!

And this video is a great one to get in the giving mood:

My Song in the Night by BYU TV

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Young Women Lesson: Standing as a Witness of God and Using Spiritual Gifts

Click for French Translation/Traduction en français
For the lds.org lesson plan see HERE

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How can I invite others to come unto Christ?

When Alma was baptizing the members of his new society, he taught them about the covenants they made:

“Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—” Mosiah 18:9

What does it mean to stand as a witness of God?

In the last conference, Elder David R. Bednar shared a story of his young sons when they were playing one day.  The younger one got hurt and the older brother was trying to comfort him.  He bandaged up his little brothers wound. When he realized how happy it made him, he wanted to share that happiness with his friends, so he took the band-aids outside to share.  Elder Bednar relates this to us, because it is in our nature to want to share things that give us happiness and comfort with others.

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What we see

This is what I was drawing when my professor and I had this conversation.  I don't remember any more what the model looked like, but I do remember myself at age 18, and this could have easily been a self-portrait.

This is what I was drawing when my professor and I had this conversation. I don’t remember any more what the model looked like, but I do remember myself at age 18, and this easily could have been a self-portrait.

“Do you know why you’re so good at drawing this model?” asked my figure drawing 101 professor. “Because she looks like you.”

The model was hired from the student body of my junior college. She was a petite, White, eighteen-year-old, like me.

Unconsciously drawing yourself is common among art students. They will painstakingly study the unique person posed directly in front of them, in plain sight, and then proceed to draw exactly what they see–themselves. And this happens all the time! It is perfectly normal.

This perspective problem can happen in other situations besides sketching. Instead of seeing others’ concerns, challenges, hopes and desires, we project our own onto them, oblivious to the diversity around us.

The golden rule has fallen out of favor with some diversity awareness advocates because “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” works only if the other party actually does want the same thing you do. They promote the platinum rule: “Do unto others as they would have done unto them.” In other words, don’t give other people what you would want. Give them what they want!

While recognizing the validity of this point, I still prefer the golden rule, and not just because Jesus came up with it. The problem with the platinum rule is

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Are we not bonded?

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My grandmother passed away a few days ago.

I wrote before of the tender acts of service she received before she passed – the pots of soup, the flowers that kept her home cheery and beautiful, the visits from family members and friends who were touched by her life.  The final weeks of her life were filled with even more tender watchcare - her husband, her children, and her grandchildren were able to show their love for her by tenderly washing her body, rubbing her feet, sitting with her, holding her hand, administering medicine, helping her walk – literally sustaining her all the way through her final breaths on earth.  She was so loved by her family – it was simultaneously a time of holy ministry and tremendous grief.

I’ve thought a lot about those final months – how we were all desperate to see her one last time, to give her one last hug or to say one last “I love you.”  We knew that our mortal separation was imminent, and so it seemed like we were all frantic to make sure that we crammed in as many experiences and loving words as we possibly could.  We didn’t know the day or hour that she would die, but we knew it would be soon, and the impending separation drove us to her bedside.

I’ve heard before that the threat of separation is what bonds us – we would have no incentive to get to know one another or spend time with each other if there were no risk of it ever being over.  

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The Church is Pro-Choice

Note: this post mentions rape, incest, abortion, stillbirth, death of infants, etc. If those topics are going to be triggering, please honor your health and pass on reading.

A few months ago, we were discussing the need for modern-day prophets in Sunday School. One woman raised her hand and said that she was grateful for modern-day revelation because of issues like abortion. I fought my urge to exclaim, “Yes! Isn’t it great that the Church is pro-choice?!” because it would really derail the lesson, so I’m going to say it here.

Isn’t it great that the Church is pro-choice?!

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“I do not know the meaning of all things.”

I am meant to write a poll today; an interesting question that will gauge the opinions and feelings of Exponent II readers today.  But what question can I pose of the many questions being asked today?  What feeling can I draw forth of the many emotions that are flooding our Mormon world today?

Kate Kelly’s disciplinary council will be held tonight and it impacts us all.  Whatever you think and feel about Ordain Women or church leadership or revelation from heaven or the disciplinary process – this impacts us all.

As I think and feel today, I sing songs to myself as a way to bring order and calm.

“He gave me my eyes that I might see …..”

I see my brothers and sisters.  I see hate and love.  I see miracles and troubles.

“He gave me my ears that I might hear …”

I hear comfort and division. I hear scripture and the temple endowment. I hear hymns.

“He gave me my life, my mind, my heart …”

I think of Jesus and Joseph and Thomas.  I think of patterns. I puzzle over the lines these patterns create:  parallel lines, perpendicular lines.

I feel the Holy Ghost. I feel the love of friends and family. I feel pain around me. I feel compassion.

Today, I will not understand.  I will not be able to connect the dots and make a straight line.  All I know to do today is feel.

“For all his creations, of which I’m a part. Yes, I know Heav’nly Father loves me.”

 

And from Nephi, a prophet:

“I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.” 1 Nephi 11:17

 

What are you thinking and feeling today?

 

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