It was early in the morning on a Saturday.

I sat in the baptistry of the Los Angeles Temple, waiting for sisters from my ward to finish. Four young single adults walked in and sat together in a nearby row: boy, girl, boy, girl. They were also waiting for my group, not to end their time at the temple as was my case, but to begin.

An older gentleman, dressed in white, slowly walked over until he stood in front of them, and asked in a voice loud enough for me to hear, “Which one of you wants to baptize, and which one of you wants to serve as witness?” The young woman furthest away from me was the first to answer. Clearly and confidently, she said, “I want to baptize.” The previously calm temple worker threw up his hands and shook his head emphatically as he cried, “No! No! No! I wasn’t talking to you!”

Since moving back to a family ward I have spent most of my time working with the youth.  Other than a brief stint as a Relief Society teacher (cushiest calling ever…) I have either worked in the Sunday School with the 14-15 year olds or as the Laurels advisor.  I found Sunday School to be particularly challenging, both because the mixing of genders often changes the dynamic, and because you tend to have less of a personal relationship with the kids than if you work in the Young Women/Men organization.  To make matters worse, when I was teaching Sunday School we were still using the Gospel Doctrine manual, which had no suggested activities and was in no way tailored to help teachers reach teenagers.  I like to think my frequent complaining letters about this through lds.org helped them move toward the new curriculum.

The women of Exponent II were having a conversation on the backlist about how to work with youth and there were so many good ideas that we decided to make it into a post.  Many of these ideas come from the other bloggers. If you readers have any more ideas of how to make church more engaging for teenagers, we would love to hear them.

Classroom management:

• If this is the first time teaching your class, have all the students introduce themselves and say what grade they are in, where they go to school, and what they are interested in doing post-graduation
• At the beginning of class, go around and ask everyone what the highlight of their week was.  Giving a space to discuss something other than the lesson makes them more likely to listen and interact positively during the lesson itself, and gets every kid talking.  This can also be a useful filler during the time you’re waiting for students to file in.
• Whatever the lesson is, tie it to their lives (news of the week, scandal etc.) Apply what principle you’re teaching, for instance ask “was the Holy Ghost with the people in that situation?” let them debate it.
• Ascertain your students’ reading levels and have them participate accordingly.  If you have students who really struggle, plan to have them share quotes that are modified to meet their reading level so they can participate without feeling embarrassed.  Similarly, if you want a long complicated quote to really make an impact, think in advance who is a strong reader and save that quote for them while encouraging others to participate elsewhere.  Reading aloud is an important skill to develop, especially in the church, but an atmosphere of shame or dread will make teaching Sunday School that much harder.
• Pick up on little things (side talking, rocking in chairs, shredding paper on the floor) and call them out.  Do this consistently so they don’t walk all over you.
• Bring food.  This is cliché, but consider when your ward meets.  Mine meets from 11-2, which means my class is always hungry.  You could use it as a reward for good behavior, or simply to get the blood sugar high enough that they are able to engage.  It doesn’t have to be a treat, I have brought cherry tomatoes, carrots, fruit slices, crackers and other snacks.  I often bring wet wipes with me to avoid the inevitable “may I go to the bathroom to wash my hands?” exodus that seriously disrupts a lesson.  When their physical needs are met, they’re better able to attend to the Spirit.  I think so anyway.
• Try starting a lesson with ascertaining their knowledge levels.  This is particularly important with younger teens who have not been in Seminary or had several years of Sunday School under their belts.  Ask them what they know about X, maybe putting their answers on the board.  At the end of the lesson check back and add things they may have learned to your list, and ask if they feel comfortable with their knowledge levels or if more instruction on the topic would be helpful.
• Call on specific students to give the prayer, rather than waiting for someone to volunteer.  One of my tactics is to call on someone for the opening prayer and then have them choose who gives the closing prayer.
• If necessary, reassign seats.  This might be particularly true if you have visitors and your class is being cliquey.  Having them sit next to someone new, then do an introduction activity to help the class be more attentive and to have more group spirit.
• Once a month have one of the students teach the lesson, particularly if you have an older class.  They will soon be going on missions or teaching in singles wards and getting a little practice and instruction in a safe place would be valuable experience.  Students often listen closely to one of their own.  It also helps the student who teaches have more appreciation for the work that the teacher does every week.

I’m a firm believer in trying to meet different learning styles, even though I personally respond best to reading and discussion.  Here are some alternative presentation ideas:

• Role playing.  Some kids are hams and like to be the center of attention.  Harness that by having them act out scripture stories.  Provide props to make it more dramatic and memorable.
• Drawing.  If you’re having a more quiet lesson, harness their doodling powers for good.  I often provide art supplies and have them make illustrations for the lesson.  You might give them a scripture or a principle to illustrate then explain to the class, or you could have them draw while you talk and explain, then show what they learned at the end.
• Play-doh.  This is like the drawing activity, but a different approach.  It helps keep kids focused on something and gives them something to do with their hands.  I used it for a lesson on the creation, but it could be applied in other ways.
• Dioramas.  One Sunday I brought a bunch of playmobils (legos or action figures could work well too) and some premade prop pieces and we made dioramas to illustrate the lesson.  I think that one was about Daniel and the lion’s den and Shadrach Mishak and Abednego.
• Journaling.  Keep notebooks in a church closet and have them on hand for the start of a lesson.  I like to start lessons with an introspective question e.g. what are your big questions about your future? (for a lesson on Patriarchal blessings) What is one time you had to forgive someone for something they did to you? etc.  I give them five minutes to write something and then I have them share if they feel comfortable.  It gets the ball rolling, helps them to gather their thoughts and means you have a supply of examples you can tie the lesson back to throughout.
• Journals are also helpful for extending weekly challenges.  I have them write down what they’re going to do that week to apply the lesson at the end of class.  Then we start class by asking how they did and what experiences they had.  Generally they forget, but having it in writing at least reminds them they should be applying the lessons.
• Have them copy what people in the scriptures did in a more literal way.  For example, when teaching about the Ammonites burying their weapons of war for peace, have them write on slips of paper what they needed to let go or work on, then go and bury the papers in the ground outside.  When teaching about the Title of Liberty, have them make a list of things they would stand up for and share it.

These are only a few ideas among many possible approaches.  The new manuals do a better job of tailoring the lessons for youth, but a little creativity doesn’t go amiss.  What approaches have worked for you? What were your favorite lessons as a teenager?

During Sunday School this weekend I sort of zoned out.  The teacher was talking about worship and what it meant to worship and I was expecting any minute for someone to say, “The Bible dictionary defines worship as blah blah blah.” I lifted the little bag of Lindt chocolate to decide which flavor I’d eat next (my reward for being a woman!), but before I could disengage further, my friend Colleen raised her hand and said a bunch of awesome stuff. Her main point was that there are many “languages of worship,” just as there are “love languages,” like preferring service, gifts, touch, etc. as a means of expressing our affection, of course there must be various means of expressing worship.  Here are some she mentioned along with a couple of my additions:

Music: For many churchgoers, music is the language of the spirit. In the preface of our hymnbook it states: “Hymns can lift our spirits, give us courage, and move us to righteous action. They can fill our souls with heavenly thoughts and bring us a spirit of peace.”  Lots of us feel closer to God when singing than when doing anything else. I am always touched at the Exponent Retreat when many women are move beyond words as we unite in voice. I am not one of these people. However, when I hear Pandora Brewer sing “Hie to Kolob,” I am converted. At least temporarily.

Intellectual: These souls are fed through lively intellectual discourse.  These are the saints who sit on the edge of the pew when there’s a powerhouse speaker who knows their doctrine cold and uses their field of expertize to illuminate and expand our understanding. These folks love the gospel doctrine class that digs deep and isn’t afraid to leave the manual behind.  The Spirit of God is intelligence.

Symbol/ritual: Mormons love to poo poo other faiths’ reliance on ritual.  But symbol plays a large role in our church as well, and there are many saints who crave it.  The sacrament is the pinnacle and purpose of our weekly worship service and people will go to great lengths to partake of it each week. Additionally the temple is obviously rich in symbol. I remember thinking when I first took out my endowment, “So HERE  is where all the ritual has been hiding…”  Many of my friends’ parents are motivated socially by ritual as well and only visit grandkids when there’s a blessing, baptism, or priesthood advancement occurring. Substitute ordinance for ritual, and this is the thing that holds it all together for some folks.

Emotion/Empathy: For other saints certain emotions facilitate the spirit.  When talks and testimonies contain personal, moving stories, these guys FEEL the connection. Sometimes we tease these folks for being quick to tears, but that is their way of manifesting they feel the Spirit, so cut them some slack.  These passionate saints worship with all their heart, love hearing and telling tender stories, and have empathy to spare. This style makes me think of the prophet, Thomas Monson.

Service- Some saints are doers. They are forever in motion and need to be actively serving to feel they are worshiping.  These are the folks who magnify the callings that have them helping/teaching/working with others. I have one such friend who doesn’t show up on Sunday if she doesn’t have a purpose. These are the gems who show up with meals and help you pack. Not that other people won’t, but the servers among us do it not out of obligation, but because it brings them closer to the Lord. “Unto the least of these…”

Meditation: I debated whether I should label this as prayer, but meditation seemed to be a bigger umbrella for the ways in which many of us worship through quiet, mindful, often solitary practices. My father loved to sit for hours in his study and read the scriptures. He would never have used the word “meditate” but he’d emerge as peaceful and centered as a yogi. During the sacrament this week I glanced at the brother behind me and was struck by his posture. Back erect, eyes closed, hands resting palm up on his knees. His kids were bustling and for a second I thought he was asleep–but he was just so peaceful.  As I was trying to focus on renewing my own covenants it dawned on me that he was meditating, something that I do during the week when I want to connect with the divine. But it never occurred to me that I could bring that practice with me into my meetings.  Call it pondering things in your heart, communing with God, these guys are masters at internal reverence.

Obviously there are many other ways of worshipping, and most of us rely on more than one method to seek the divine. What was instructive to me about my friend’s comment was how different we all are in our spiritual quests and how important it is to allow for as many “worship languages” as possible during our services. I know I need to work on valuing the languages that are not my native tongue.

What language works best for you? What languages do you think are undervalued/underrepresented in LDS services? Which languages are privileged? How can we encourage languages that feel foreign?

Dear Foremother:

As I hold this card and read your name, I think about your country, your century, your life you left long ago. Your existence in a world without antibiotics, with no choice but unmedicated child birth. Because I have this card, I know you have been baptized by proxy, released from a prison that held your spirit and welcomed into the fold of the faithful. You’ve been confirmed a member of the church, my church, a church you didn’t even know existed when you walked this earth, should you choose to accept this ordinance done for you in your name. You’ve been washed and anointed, a proxy body gently blessed with words that are specific, delicate, and surging with power.

About 10 years ago I graduated from BYU with a degree in Political Science and an emphasis in American politics.  Since then, I’ve been passionate about advocacy and have lobbied on Capitol Hill and the Arizona state capitol several times on behalf of various groups and policy initiatives.  I wish I could say that it’s rewarding volunteer work, but most often I find myself advocating for policies that my elected representatives don’t support.  Although I’m sometimes frustrated and think they are wrong and I am right, I know that we are both trying to create a society based on the values that we hold most dearly. The problem is there are so many values, some contradictory, and we don’t all rank them in the same order. For example, perhaps my legislator ranks fiscal responsibility as his highest priority and I rank health care for all citizens as my highest priority.  Chances are we won’t support the same kinds of bills, or will have a lot of compromising to do to achieve our goals.   Our job as citizens is to choose representatives whose values most closely align with ours.

Thus, when someone who disagrees with a current policy says they hate the government, and want to get rid of all government, I shake my head and think, “But we ARE the government.”  That’s the point of a civilized society, to create a system that allows us to work together for the good of all.  Once we start thinking about the government as “it” or something hostile to be taken down, then we’ve done ourselves a great disservice.

That’s the beauty of a democratic republic.  “We the people” make this nation great.  Our voices can be heard, our votes matter.

In some ways, this applies to our church membership. The more I think about the church as a faceless patriarchy of Borg-like robots, I find myself unwilling to see the good and find only the bad.  Although there are many church policies and practices that are harmful to women, I sometimes forget that we are members of the church in a similar way to being members of a country.  This is our church too, and we can make a difference by staying and saying, “No.” or “I want something more.” Additionally, church members aren’t wrong just because they disagree with me.  We are both trying to make a religious community based on the values that we hold most dear.  Often, they privilege different values than I do- they may value obedience to church leaders above equality when I value them in reverse.  While this may lead to disagreements about how we view certain doctrines or policies, it doesn’t mean that we are enemies in a zero sum game.
While the church is clearly not a democracy, and this analogy breaks down upon further scrutiny, it’s still useful to see myself as part of the organization, not in opposition to it.  That’s why I hope there is always room for respectful dissent and garden-variety heretics in the LDS church.

by Catherine Worthington

When I first began to hear rumblings that several groups were advocating for the ordination of LDS women, my immediate and somewhat surprising reaction was one of dismay. As a self-professed feminist, I realized that I needed to more closely examine that reaction. I am passionately interested in issues involving women and equality, and I have been deeply troubled by some of the cultural attitudes and practices within the Church that silence the voices and diminish the value of women. So what is it that makes me so uncomfortable with the current push for ordination?

I guess to begin with, despite my respect for many of the women (and men) involved and my genuine sympathy for their frustrations, the sinking feeling I experienced when I realized that this was a legitimate movement came from a sense that the modus operandi felt wrong. I’m concerned about the whole approach, which is decidedly secular. It doesn’t surprise me that Kate Kelly, one of the founders of Ordain Women, is a human rights law attorney. I’m sure she’s a very good one and I applaud any and all efforts to further the cause of human rights worldwide.  But ordination to the priesthood is not a human right. It is not any kind of a “right.” Trying to approach an essentially spiritual issue from the perspective of secular activism is neither reasonable nor appropriate. The Church is not a political entity.  It is the body of Christ, headed by Him and led on the earth by living prophets who hold the keys to revelation for the Church as a whole. This is our theology.  If we really believe this, then our actions must reflect that belief.  As humble disciples of Jesus Christ, shouldn’t our approach be to ask for further light and knowledge rather than to make demands?

I was initially encouraged when I read this from Kate Kelly in The Salt Lake Tribune:

“We sustain the prophet and the Quorum of Twelve Apostles and ask them to prayerfully consider this change,” she said. “We believe that what we are doing demonstrates our faith in the gospel.”

This is an approach I can get behind. Yes, by all means, let’s ask our leaders to prayerfully consider possible changes.

But when I go to the official Ordain Women website (ordainwomen.org), I find a very different rhetoric.