Chastity lessons are challenging because people’s life circumstances determine the way they live chaste lives. Giving this lesson to a group of women with varying marital status will require a lot of forethought. I recommend reading “Two Sides of Being Single and Chaste” and acknowledging that living out your adulthood as an abstinent person is a quite different thing from being an abstinent teenager or young adult. Chastity and singlehood deserve a serious conversation and in some wards this could be the main topic of the discussion, but I am going to focus this lesson plan on chastity for married women since this is something I can speak to from experience.
“The natural desire for men and women to be together is from God. But such association is bounded by his laws. Those things properly reserved for marriage, when taken within the bonds of marriage, are right and pleasing before God and fulfil the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.”
One of my grandmothers remarried when I was in college, and I remember her saying she didn’t think she could still feel giddy when a man called, but she did. I was surprised, too, that someone her age could still have those feelings. But the fact is as we age our brains remain totally capable of that dopamine surge that gives us the euphoric feeling of falling in love, and the adrenaline-driven pitter-patter we felt as teenagers when we made eye contact with a crush.
We are wired for falling in love, and a brain in love is often compared to a brain on cocaine. As the brain becomes tolerant of those highly stimulating hormones, and love changes to secure attachment, vasopressin and oxytocin give a sense of well-being conducive to sticking together. Finally, your hormones return to normal. The ideal for Mormons is not to ride this hormonal roller coaster over and over, it’s to form lasting, even eternal, marriages. The main challenge for unmarried people is getting dopamine hits with your loved one without going “too far,” whereas a real challenge for married people is living in long term relationships without the hormonal roller coaster.
“Most people fall into sexual sin in a misguided attempt to fulfill basic human needs. We all have a need to feel loved and worthwhile. We all seek to have joy and happiness in our lives. Knowing this, Satan often lures people into immorality by playing on their basic needs. He promises pleasure, happiness, and fulfillment.”