Because I love Caroline’s posts containing conversations with her husband and others, I had to start doing my own. This is my first one, posted on my personal blog last week. It took place at a restaurant on a date with John a while back. I tried to make it fun by having my readers guess who said what, only because everyone that knows us would think it was the other way around. I guess being married to someone for 9.5 years can make you sound that much more alike.
Me: Why do they put these canned beets on the Greek salad anyway?
John: I’ll try one if you do.
Me: Okay. (pause) What was it like?
John: Your turn.
Me: Hm. It tastes like the inside of a bucket. I swear it’s exactly as if I’d just licked the inside of a farm bucket. One that a cow’s been eating out of.
John: Gross.
Me: What did it taste like to you?
John: I’d rather not discuss this anymore. We’re trying to eat dinner here.
So, I’d love for you to share some of your conversations. Make them with your spouse/significant other, close friends, kids, or strangers—make them revealing, comic, or just a slice of your daily life.
{Image from flickr}
In the car on the way to the mall Saturday morning.
Me: We haven’t had a fight today.
DH: Do you want to fight?
Me: Well, we got in tiffs the last two Saturdays.
DH: I can’t think of anything to fight about today.
(He swerves to avoid a truck changing lanes).
Me: Hey — *try* not to get us killed!
DH: Don’t raise your voice at me — yell at the truck!
Tense pause.
Fit of giggles.
Me: There. Now I feel better.
DH: We could write a play. The whole thing would take place in the car on Saturday mornings.
Hah! That’s right – i would have guessed John to be the one to come up with cow licked bucket simile.
Deborah, nice. 🙂 I swear I’ve had a similar conversation while driving with Mike.
Here’s my conversation for the day:
(It’s the beginning of Sacrament meeting – we are singing some song which refers to serving our ‘brethren.’ As I typically do, I change the male focused term to a gender inclusive one. ‘People’ this time.)
Me: (singing) May I learn to serve my people….
Mike: (amazed whisper) Hey, did you just say ‘peop-ren’?
Me: No! I said people! I’m not a freak. (5 seconds of giggling.)
Here’s another one from a while ago:
Me: “Mike, will God send me to hell if I don’t believe in polygamy?”
Pause.
Me: “You’re right, God will send me to hell for other reasons.”
Mike: “Yeah, for being messy.”
Just put this one up on my blog.
Hunter: Mom, can I have some oreos?
Me: No
Hunter: I’ll take that as a “yes”
Sealily: Fabulous.
My husband and I have a lot of conversations like this:
Me: These blueberries are mushy.
DH: Your mom’s blueberries are mushy.
Me: I mushed your mom’s blueberries last night.
We are so mature
Me: Check out my new swimsuit… (holding up my slenderizing black tank)
Husband: But it’s so small–how do you get into that thing anyway?
Me: Thanks a lot.
Husband: oh wait..no it’s more tentlike…yeah that’s it.
Me: Why don’t you try to get into one of these squeezy things? That would teach you not to say such things.
Silence.
Laughter.
Sealilly, do they ever listen?:
Asher: oh, cow!
Me: no, that’s a horse
Asher: cow! Mooo!
Me: no Asher, that’s a horse. Neigh.
Asher: oh, horse
Me: Yeah, horse…you ready to go home?
Asher: Ok, bye cow!
Kiri the Diva:
ME: Rob, are you gonna wipe the counter?
HIM: (Sigh) Yes.
ME: Dude, do you understand why I want you to?
HIM: (sigh).
ME: any food on the counter will crust if you don’t do it right now.
And then who has to clean it all up hours later when you’re at work? not you, pal!
HIM: (sighs, leaves room, enters kitchen, wipes the counter, returns 5 minutes later).
ME: hey, can you get me a glass of water?
In Sacrament Meeting:
ME (@ the pulpit, talking about how Jesus might’ve been as a teen): “I can just imagine Christ as a teen, boppin’ around with this buddies, trying to figure out what’s right…In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” I sit down next to Rob.
HIM (whispering): Kiri, Jesus did not “bop around”.
Ha! Nice ones, Kiri.