Guest Post: Dark Theaters Make Me Think
This week I was invited to the movies and I was over-the-moon-ecstatic. I’ve always felt like an outsider when it came to the “cool” kids and so to be invited to see a movie with some of the ladies at church, well, it was happy-making.
I arrived on time, but because I had filled up on dinner, I didn’t need to stand in the popcorn line. Subsequently, I was one of the first to start saving seats in the theater with the few other popcorn-free women.
I actually love watching movies; movie-going for me is a very social event. I like to find a partner that I can whisper witty comments to throughout the movie. With pop music blaring and advertisements for local businesses glaring, I took the opportunity to try to find a kindred movie-commenter.
“I like to make comments and talk during movies,” I blurted out.
The reaction was immediate, the women I was with “shooed” me away, “Well, then don’t sit anywhere near us,” as they moved to the other end of the row.
Well, ok. I understand some people can’t stand that. I was hoping to find a Statler for my Waldorf it it flopped, but maybe one of the popcorn eaters would fit the bill.
As more filed in, I watched as each one was greeted with a “Oh! Come sit by us!” from the other end of the row. Faces lit up, waving ensued, and chatter about the last time they got together commenced. And I realized why I had been so giddy to come to the movies in the first place: I don’t really have any close friends, nor even a close friend. I have only been in the ward for a little over a year, so some of it is time, but some of it is that I’m not very good at the friendship thing.
I remember being in college and listening to my neighbors talk about having so-and-so over to bake cookies or watch a movie. And strange as it might sound, I remember thinking to myself, “Bake cookies? Who comes up with these ideas? It’s great!” But the idea never would have come to me on its own. And I didn’t invite anyone over for cookies because I promptly forgot about the idea.
When I hear in lessons or talks, the speaker mention that she had Sister B’s shoulder to cry on, I always think, “I want to be that shoulder, but I don’t know anyone well enough for that.” I’m envious of these friendships but am absolutely clueless on how to start them or maintain them.
Is it that I don’t have that kind of personality? Is it because I never really saw friendship like that modeled for me while I was growing up? Surely I’m not the only one with this social barrier. I’d like to ask you readers: do you have close friends that you can share everything with? I have my husband and he’s wonderful, but I wonder, when I see these friendly interactions between other women, if I’m missing out on something. Have you overcome this same barrier? If so, how did you do it? I go to as many of the Relief Society meetings-formerly-known-as-Enrichment-formerly-known-as-Homemaking as I possibly can and when I was still going to Relief Society, I volunteered for activities regularly. (Teaching Sunbeams means I often miss the sign up sheets.)
So my Exponent Sisters, please share your experiences and advice. I’m going to need to take notes.