Have you noticed the trend in Christmas cards? Along with a family photo, quotes and lines from Christmas songs are splashed across the card. Among the most popular are: “Peace on earth goodwill to men;” “Merry and Bright;” “Have a holly jolly Christmas;” and that old standby, “Joy to the world.” While sitting in Sacrament meeting this past week, my warped mind got to thinking about lines from songs that are LEAST likely to wind up on a greeting card. So with apologies to the families whose images I’ve swiped from the Googles, here you are.
10. Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
9. You better not pout, You better not cry!
8. Bring us some figgy pudding!
7. No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses–I only like hippopotamuses
6. Bring me flesh, and bring me wine.
5. My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious – Gosh your lips look delicious!
4. Please daddy don’t get drunk this Christmas (thanks John Denver)
3. For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth goodwill to men.
2. Don we now our gay apparel
1. Sorrowing-sighing-bleeding-dying, sealed-in-the-stone-cold-tomb
Merry Christmas, and Santa, if you’re reading this, just slip a sable under the tree for me; Been an awful good girl. God bless us, every one!