Life Changing Moments
It happened on an evening in which I had discovered that my husband had volunteered to make phone calls urging people to vote yes on Prop 8. This was an unexpected blow to me, since I had remembered him commenting during the similar Prop 22 campaign that he wouldn’t feel comfortable getting involved.
I was furious when he told me. I felt betrayed, and I felt sickened. Most of all, I felt scared. What kind of future did we have as a couple if we differed on something that was to me such a fundamental indicator of the way people look at the world? What did it mean if we were mobilizing on opposite sides of this?
Out of fear and anger, I ripped into him and questioned his kindness and the validity of his motivations. Then I locked myself in the bathroom for a half hour and I tried to calm down and stop crying. I finally came out and I was still upset at him, but I was also upset at myself for acting like that. I’m usually pretty even keeled and not the type of person that blows up at people.
After thinking about it for a couple of days I came to the conclusion that I need to let him have his journey. He lets me have my journey and goodness knows I do things that he does not like or approve of. But he doesn’t get in my face. He gives me space to follow my conscience and to do what I think is right. I realized that I needed to give him space to follow his conscience and do what he thinks is right.
I’m not very interested in debating the merits of Prop 8 here. I’m just using this story as an example of those moments in life that lead to important realizations, realizations that change the course of a relationship or that give peace when peace was not expected.
Please share your life changing moments.