Meaningful Dialogue between Mormon Feminists and Trolls: A Glossary

Posted by on May 16, 2013 in feminism | 5 comments

Affiliating

A temple recommend criteria violation for consorting with trolls.  Or feminists. Or both.

 

Anti-Mormon

This is a word used by trolls to express disdain and vie for the honor of being placed in permanent moderation.

 

Apostate

See Anti-Mormon.

From 'Round the yule-log: Christmas in Norway by Peter Christen Asbjörnsenwww.gutenberg.org

From ‘Round the yule-log: Christmas in Norway by Peter Christen Asbjörnsen
www.gutenberg.org

 

Call to repentance

1. A soul-saving strategy in the tradition of Alma the younger. 2. An unacceptable transgression of blog commenting decorum, rated somewhere above swearing and slander but (barely) below cyber-terrorism in obnoxiousness.

 

Do you want the priesthood?

1. A probing question feminists ask other feminists. 2. A  rhetorical question asked by trolls to shut up feminists. See http://zelophehadsdaughters.com/2013/02/03/you-just-want-the-priesthood/

 

Equality

1.The goal of feminists.  2.  The status quo, in which men have institutional power and women have uteruses.  (For penises, see “priesthood envy”.)

 

Feminist

1. A person who supports equal opportunity for males and females.  2.  (Trollish dialect) A shrill, angry, power-crazed man-hater who doesn’t wear a bra or watch Disney movies and is most likely a lesbian.

 

Pain

Feminists use this word to describe feelings resulting from patriarchy (see below.)  Also used to one up other feminists.  See http://www.the-exponent.com/we-are-all-members-of-the-feminist-body-of-christ/

 

Patriarchy

The Bishop. And the Stake President.  And all general authorities.  And the know-it-all deacon in your Sunday School class.

 

Preside in the home

This phrase is meaningless but feminists still dislike it. See http://www.the-exponent.com/the-evolving-mormon-definition-of-preside/

 

Presiding Authority

The person who gets to fall asleep on the stand while his wife wrestles with all of their children in the congregation.

 

Priesthood envy

A trollish deriviation of the Fruedan term “penis envy.”  Mormons don’t say “penis” so “priesthood” must be substituted.  In Mormonism, priesthood and penises are highly correlated. The concept of penis envy was soundly refuted by Betty Friedan in the Feminine Mystique, but trolls don’t read that book.

 

Problematic

This word is a blend of the phrase ”probably wrong” and the word “diplomatic”. Feminists use this word to diplomatically explain that a certain line of reasoning is probably wrong.

 

Sustain the priesthood

1. (Feminist dialect) Respectfully listen to the patriarchy before explaining why their views are problematic.  2. (Trollish dialect) Do whatever a Mormon male over age 12 or a troll tells you to.

 

You’re in violation of the comment policy.

A phrase used when feminists are so exasperated by a troll’s calls to repentance that they are tempted to become shrill, angry, power-crazed man-haters.

Related posts:

5 Comments

  1. Love this!!

  2. So clever!

  3. Huh, I almost fit the troll definition of feminist. I try not to get shrill or man hating, but I’ve never worn a bra, try to avoid disney movies, and am extremely attracted to women. Yay! I’m a feminist! ;)

    This reminds me of a list I’d been thinking about of “ways to shut down a conversation” – Things like “This is the way it is, so this is the way God intends it”, “You’re using mental gymnastics”, and “Occam’s razor says I’m right”.

  4. Cant. Stop. Giggling.

  5. Hilarious, April! Thanks for posting this!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>