My Relationship With Married Men
I never, ever thought I would entertain the idea of hooking up with a married man. I had a coworker with whom I connected, and at first it honestly didn’t occur to me think of it as anything other than a platonic relationship. The owner commented on our friendship and gave him a hard time for hanging out with me (at work only, BTW) and from then, I couldn’t help but wonder. Nothing ever came of it, and I am still of the opinion that I would never try to have a relationship (other than friendship) with a married man. But, despite the hair on my neck that raises at the thought: I wonder if it’s even possible.
Being in my mid-twenties I have more and more friends getting married. This changes the dynamic of my relationship with both people. I had plans to climb Mt. Whitney with a (male, married) friend, and another (male, single) friend. It fell through because my “chaperon” backed out. That seems to be a common theme lately. I’ve had a couple of opportunities that have fallen through because it would have been me and married man. I had never given it much thought before. I just accepted the standard of never being alone with a member of the opposite sex, but these were men I was not remotely attracted to, and I wanted only to enjoy the outdoors. Can men truly not help themselves, as the store owner indicated?
I’ve seen the green-eyed monster flare its ugly head, even if very subtly, when I even laugh and joke with a significant other. It feels awkward to enjoy time spent or conversations had with someone else’s spouse. I’ve never been in a situation where I needed to clarify boundaries of a relationship, but I wonder if it might be a good idea. (But, would it even be an effective one?)
I respect the marriage relationship, and I have no desire to breach it, but what happens when I run out of friends because they’re married?