Producing Joy and Making Magick with God
Although I think of myself as a happy person, learning to find daily joy in my life has always been a struggle. I find myself bogged down with the laundry, the poopy diapers, and the ants on my kitchen floor.
Sometimes getting away makes it worse. We had a feminist girls night on Saturday and Sunday was even harder than it has been for months. So, I’ve been reading this (Sunday) evening hoping to find some organization to the chaos in my head of why I feel so grumpy when I really have a very pleasant, wonderful life.
My sources and logic are a bit scattered, but try to follow me on this little trail through tonight’s reading and my conclusions.
In an older post, the second of his two part series, Clay Whipkey at Mormon Matters explains that his goal is no longer to have the Truth and be right, but to find joy. More than being a consumer of joy, he wants to be a producer. I love what he says here,
“I want to be a source of joy. I think it is the great jewel in the crown of Mormonism that we believe in our potential to be something divine. This idea that we can be a producer of light, not just a consumer.”
This post dovetailed nicely with Natalie’s new piece at BCC about producing good works instead of being wrapped up in the “thou shalt nots” and moderating evil media influences.
“I want to suggest that we cannot fully keep the commandments that count – those to love others and to build Christ’s kingdom – so long as our model of keeping the commandments remains so tied to concerns about our safety and sanctity.”
Making joy requires risk and engagement, she says. We need to engage with others and with God.
Reading these passages, I thought of a unique session at Sunstone by Ayla Serenemoon called, “Heavenly Mothers: Magick, the Divine Feminie, and Homebirth.” Here, Ayla gives accounts of Joseph Smith’s birth that describe him as born with a veil, or in the caul, which at the time was a sign that the child was born with special gifts of psychic abilities. Because of this unique birth, Josph Sr. was reported to have been searching for seer stones soon after his son’s birth because he believed that he would have special abilities. Now, I’m unfamiliar with mysticism or magick, so I was fascinated to hear a description of it. For people in Joseph Smith’s time, apparently, magick was a way of making something powerful with God’s help. As opposed to prayer which was a one-sided plea, magick was working with God to create something that would protect, help, or provide in some way.
All of these things seem to come together for me in a new way of seeing my relationship with God.
Instead of seeking God in the traditional way through avoiding the appearance of evil, kneeling in prayer, or group worship, I want to seek him in a more active, engaging way.
I love this idea of making joy, producing light, and finding magick around me. Religion has been so passive, but I really want to make it more active. I don’t want to be afraid of doing things wrong all of the time. I don’t want to watch my life go by waiting for everything to line up exactly as I had planned until I can be truly happy.
I want to work with God and learn how better to find joy now and help others do the same.