Someone To Talk To All the Time

Who’s That Girl?

Marcella Torres grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah. A Latina ex-Mormon learning to wear tank tops. Sculpture BA and Art History BFA from University of Utah. Currently attending Performance MFA program at School of The Art Institute Chicago. She has worked as an art educator for the last 8 years, holding positions with Utah Museum of Contemporary Arts, CUAC Contemporary gallery and Arts Bridge. Just trying to figure things out.

Someone to Talk to All the Time | 2013 | Projected Video Essay 

Someone To Talk To All The Time is one part of the essay series Pionero Americano. This series is a collection of memoir essays I have written that recount my experience of being raised in the U.S., specifically in Utah as a Mexican American in the Mormon (Latter Day Saint) church. Each essay unpacks ideas revealed through numerous events and theories connected to religion, society, philosophy and personal confrontations.

Someone To Talk To All The Time, describes how falling in love with a Caucasian American conflicted with my predefined theories on identity and continued genealogy. This act allowed for both my husband and I to realize we no longer believed in our organized religion, and more than anything we doubted its morals. The title Someone To Talk To All The Time refers to our experience of finding a partner and this phenomenon replacing the need to pray. In creating this film I hoped to put to rest any ideas of guilt I felt in leaving the religion of my family, and hoping that by saying what I needed, they and myself would understand the intent of my actions.

From the point I started showing it people have been super responsive to its sentiments even non-mormons, because its about the general process of growing up. In my current work I rarely talk about my Mormon past but I feel as though it is still a large part of the way I think and organize my practice. Its difficult to figure out how to approach my continual connection as an ex-Mormon, I want to be supportive of my family who is still LDS, but many recent policies made by the LDS church are ethically offensive and I’m not sure how to mediate this. But again I think everyone can identify with this back and forth mediation, whether it be white guilt, national guilt, gender disparities, family guilt etc. I think continually in my life and artistic practice I’m just trying to figure out how to feel ok, what things I need to ignore or disagree with or try harder or accept. And really thats why I feel like no matter how my artwork changes this video is still really relevant to that goal.

 

 

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3 Responses

  1. Rachel says:

    This video is so beautiful and important. Thank you for making it, and sharing it.

  2. Caroline says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I just watched the whole thing and found your description of the tensions we feel when we leave or contemplate leaving the church insightful. I particularly loved the section where you talked about all that you have gained from leaving. I also appreciated that you spent time discussing your experience with race in the LDS church and how it affected your own self-image. I’m so glad you made this video and shared it with us.

  3. Thank you for sharing this video. I loved hearing about your journey wth your family and the Church and especially appreciated your insights to the unique implications of race in Mormon scripture.

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