Book Review Series: When We Became Three

Allison M. is a children’s librarian. True to librarian stereotypes, she loves reading, knitting, and baking. She has a husband and one daughter and is still working on getting some cats.


When We Became Three: A Memory Book for the Modern Family

When We Became Three: A Memory Book for the Modern Family by Jill Caryl Weiner
“A low-maintenance and pressure free, wise yet whimsical way to capture all the milestones and special moments of your own special family.”

My daughter’s first birthday quickly approaches and I surprise myself with how many conflicting feelings I have about that. I am filled with pride as I watch her wobbly little legs walk around the room, when she communicates with sign language that she wants more, when she stacks the rings all by herself. It is amazing how the smallest, goofiest things make me want to brag to the entire world about how smart and great she is. Then there are the more bittersweet moments when I think about how she used to be so dependent on me. We would spend our days in the nursing chair and the nights mostly the same. I could hold her for hours on end and she never squirmed or tried to get away. It hasn’t even been a year yet and there are so many things I already miss, so many things I never want to forget. The image of the way she threw her head back and pouted her lips every time she fell asleep nursing and let go of the breast. It is the most tender of moments. And because it all goes by so fast and there are so many changes along the way, I love the whole idea of keeping a baby book.

This baby book is a great choice for so many kinds of parents. People like me who are not into cutesy frills and cluttered pages are going to love the clean, fresh look. Couples who have a really strong sense of who they are as a couple are going to love that this book puts such an emphasis on the parents – who they were before baby came along and all their thoughts and feelings along the way. It is a lot of fun to fill out together as a couple. Who knows, maybe during one of those rare date nights once baby is finally asleep on her own? It is important to reminisce about days before baby to remember why you fell in love and started this crazy journey in the first place. Then when you’re both exhausted and emotions run high, you are more likely to remember the things you love about your partner and hopefully not focus so much on the things that drive you crazy.

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One More Example of ETB Lesson 15 (AKA: What Motherhood Looks Like For Me)

Connecticut, Family

I said this to my Relief Society sisters Sunday, more or less. (Not included are the beautiful, thoughtful answers they said back.) (If you happen to still be teaching Lesson 15, please check out Spunky’s inclusive and thorough plan.)

Divinity of Parenthood

What I hope that you will get from this lesson is that both fatherhood and motherhood are godly, and that cooperative parenting is the most godly of all.

Benson said, “A mother’s role is ordained by God. [Mothers] are, or should be, the very heart and soul of the family. No more sacred word exists in secular or holy writ than that of mother.”

Our Differences

Before I go further, I want to acknowledge that this topic can be sensitive. While we are all daughters of God and sisters in the gospel, we have different lived experiences. Some of us have never married, and never had children. Some of us have married, but now carry the load of parenthood by ourselves. Some of us are stepmothers. Some of us are adoptive or foster mothers. Some of us who do not have children, desperately wish to. Some of us who have children, at times desperately wish not to. Some of us are expectant mothers. Some of us are new, new mothers. Some of us are just pretty new. Some of us are seasoned. Some of us are empty nesters. Some of us are grandmothers. Some of us have difficult relationships with our own mothers. Some of us have no desire to be mothers. Some of us are mothers to everyone we meet.

I honor these differences. My hope is that we can draw upon them, and speak honestly and openly from our own experiences, to better learn from each other, and increase in charity and understanding.

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You can’t be what you can’t see

the-first-vision-82823-printMy seven year old nephew recently announced to his mother that there are more boys than girls on the earth. My sister asked,”Why do you think that?” He explained,

“Because Heavenly Father and Jesus are boys, there must be more boys on the earth.”

My sister said she wasn’t sure if there were more boys than girls, that the numbers were probably near equal. She also reminded him that we have a Mother in Heaven and she is part of our Heavenly Family. My nephew said,

“Yeah, but Heavenly Father and Jesus have powers and stuff.”

Not yet defeated, my sister explained that Heavenly Mother is powerful too, and we probably have sisters up there in heaven that we just don’t know about. Then my nephew wanted to know if he could pray to Heavenly Mother. My sister said, “Well, we’ve been asked not too, but you can think about her and remember her always.”

At the age of seven my nephew understands in the simplest terms that male is more.

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Tips from the Daughter of a Sexual Abuse Survivor

childMy mother is a brave woman who dared to speak out about being raped on multiple occasions by a brother-in-law during her childhood, although recounting such experiences caused her personal pain and in spite of pressure to stay silent for the sake of avoiding embarrassment and contention.  With the important disclaimer that I am not an expert on this topic, I would like to offer some advice, friend to friend, about what I have learned about protecting children from pedophiles as a result of growing up in a family that has seriously grappled with this issue.

  • Pedophilia thrives on secrecy.  Maintaining confidentiality is not a virtue when dealing with a pedophile; it facilitates their behavior. Teach your children that it is wrong for someone to ask them to keep secrets from their parents and they should tell you immediately if an adult asks them to keep a secret.  Regularly ask them if anyone has asked them to keep a secret.
  • Pedophilia is a long-term condition with no known cure. No matter how long after the fact this crime is discovered, it should be brought to light and if possible, prosecuted. The pedophile may have stopped harming the known victim by that time but is likely to have moved on to younger victims who are keeping silent. 
  • Teaching “stranger danger” is not helpful.  People are much more likely to be assaulted by someone they know.
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The “Measure of our Creation”

Today is the end of my seventh week in a 24-week programming bootcamp. Three months ago, I was only non-chalantly  applying for it, after having applied to another and had not gotten in. It wasn’t originally in my plans to do this now- next year at the earliest, but when opportunities come, I try to take them and not think to much about it. So far that philosophy has worked out.

I had been a stay-at-home-mom for 6 years. We homeschool. It has been a huge lifestyle change, and it’s unlikely to go back to how it was if I get a job after this. I am now gone 8-6 M-F. I have had a lot of disjointed thoughts on this situation this week and I supposed I’ll list them chronologically.

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