I wrote the this poem after being confirmed in my Community of Christ congregation in December 2016. I discussed my faith transition with Brittany Mangelson on the Project Zion podcast.
I saw the blessing and confirmation of friends.
After a few months of waiting,
I made a plan to wait
Six more months.
Waiting felt comfortable.
I needed to be sure.
Comforted by waiting,
I felt uncomfortable, anxious.
Unofficially committed and comfortable,
Coming to an uncomfortable close.
I was sure
I needed more waiting.
On the day
In the service
My former pastor spoke of faith.
I knew I had been avoiding faith
But confirmation was an act of faith.
I wanted to be sure, which is faithless,
Comfortable being in-between and officially unofficial.
Faith had been waiting for me,
God had been waiting for me,
To move past my Mormon certainty
Into the unknowingness of faith,
Into a life of discomfort.