“You hoo! Jesus!”
I wouldn’t say that I hate change, but it does bug me. My husband makes fun of me as he drags me into the 21st century, periodically making me change my phone or email. We had to go to therapy when he wanted to make me switch from a PC to a Mac. Seriously. It had me rocking in a corner in the fetal position.
As a feminist I there are many changes that I deeply desire in the Church. But I fear the only changes that happen are destined to make me nuts. For example, my new calling irritates me. Not the calling itself but the title, which I can’t even bring myself to type because it is so totally stupid. I am the leader of what is formerly known as Enrichment, which was switched from Homemaking in 2000. The new title has the word meetings in it. Nobody is really sure what it’s called now. If the change was to simplify things, it failed as everyone now refers to an extracurricular RS event as “enrichment or homemaking or stuff not on Sunday or whatever.” How’s that for clarity? So I have decided to go old school and call it Homemaking. Maybe we’ll make grapes out of resin or macrame some pot holders. At Christmas time I’d like to make some Tampon Angels. Real classy stuff.
Other super irritating changes at church involve hymns. I know it was a little wacky to have everybody singing “You, who unto Jesus” but come on. It is just so boring to sing “Who unto the Savior.” I feel like Mormons hate the word “Jesus” and try to solemnize everything. So I still channel my inner-owl when we sing about Firm Foundations. I even made sure my Primary classes all sang it that way. But the one that I absolutely can’t make sense out of is “Joy to the World.” Why did WW Phelps go and switch “heaven and nature sing” to “saints and angels?” My Episcopal friend came with me to a Christmas service (it was an Enrichment or Homemaking or whatever it’s called sponsored) and when we got to that part of the song, she turned to me and said, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Mormons have issues with nature singing?”
And if we are going to change hymns, lets make meaningful choices. So I’ve bitched here before about the whole issue of Kolob, that it kills me when the media locks onto to our crazy during the “Mormon Moment” instead of all the really good and beautiful aspects of our religion. Still, I must admit, I love singing about hieing to Kolob. At a Retreat years ago Pandora sang that song for us (I cried–no I wept) and had all of us slightly alter the songbooks. At the end of the third verse the line reads: “There is no end to spirit, there is no end to race.” Pandora wisely had us put a “g” before the final word. That tiny addition created grace. Over the years I have added that “g” to every hymn book in my reach. Now that is a change I can get behind.
What changes in the Church have made you nuts? What stuff are you dying to have altered?