A Simple Testimony
by Kelly Ann
Eyeing the Bishop and the Stake President on the stand, I slowly walked to the front of the chapel this morning in Sacrament meeting. My heart was racing and I was physically shaking as I took the stand. I stated that it had been awhile, that I was nervous, but I wanted to share a simple testimony, the same as I shared before last year’s election when I snapped. I then said something like the following:
That I love God, that I am grateful for the community of faith in the church, but I don’t understand everything and that is ok. That I doubt as much, if not more, than I believe and that that has made me a better person. That I am grateful for the ability to learn from my experiences and mistakes. That I am grateful for the friends and the community in this ward and elsewhere who have accepted me as I am and who have been patient with me as my faith continues to be reshaped since it collapsed last year.
While I still have a long ways to go, this public expression today brought me so much peace. It was also nice that quite a few people thanked me for having the nerve to get up and that they appreciated my heart-filled testimony. Most people in the family ward I am now attending do not know the back-story that I felt personally attacked after sharing a similar testimony that I believed in God but didn’t understand all things in another’s ward politically charged Prop8-infused fast and testimony last year. I am honestly grateful that I am slowly reclaiming my imperfect faith.
As someone else shared today, it is in being vulnerable that we allow ourselves the most growth and I truly feel grateful for multiple communities in which I can be myself. And I did it with out passing out or tripping up and down the stairs ;-p
It is a huge step for me and I wanted to share that with you all here.