A Trans Blessing, part 1
A couple of years ago, I wrote about the women’s blessing I and a few of my ward sisters did for my oldest’s baptism, right after the confirmation. Today I’d like to share about my second child Isaac’s, baptism and blessings from last October. Isaac uses ze/zir pronouns.
It took us a little time to plan Isaac’s baptism. Zir birthday is in the summer and by early September, we still had not planned it. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to engage in the Church, especially with the Church’s decades of anti-LGBTQ statements and policies. But sitting in church one Sunday at the beginning of September I felt impressed that if we were going to do it, we should do it soon. Part of that is weather-related. Here in the Bay Area, our hottest months are September and October and if we were going to do another baptism in the Bay, this would be the time. Early October was perfect timing so we did it the weekend of conference.
I still wanted to participate in Isaac’s baptism and blessing, so I asked zir, “Do you want a women’s blessing or would you like a parents’ blessing with Mommy and Daddy together?” Ze answered, “Is there such thing as a trans blessing?”
I responded, “Well, I’ve never heard of a trans blessing, but I’m sure we can do one.” I do have connections in the local queer Mormon community so I asked my friend Victoria if she thought we could find some trans Mormons to do a blessing for Isaac. She said she probably could find some people. Her side of this story will be published later today.
With a trans blessing planned for after the confirmation, I did not have a way to participate in Isaac’s baptism. My husband would perform both the baptism and confirmation and I would would sit out both of those and the trans blessing. So we worked it out that my husband would confirm Isaac up until “Receive the Holy Ghost. Amen,” and stop just like in the temple. Everything after “Receive the Holy Ghost” is generally a father’s blessing for most children, so we decided that would be a good time to invite me to do a parents’ blessing.
And after the baptism in the chilly water and my participation as the “towel holder,” Isaac was confirmed on the beach and then the men were dismissed and McKay and I gave Isaac a blessing.
After that, it was time for the trans blessing. Kimberly led it. I mostly expected it to be a lot like the mother’s blessing or parent’s blessing, but she decided to use a different format. The people participating in the blessing included Isaac and held hands in the circle.
Each person, Kimberly, Ethan, and Jack, took turns giving Isaac what blessing they had for zir: that the divine is within zir, that whatever path ze takes will be the right one for zir, and to hold to zir convictions.
It was a very lovely day and I’m so glad that Isaac got to have such a wonderful community to welcome zir into the Church and Mormonism. I’m glad that we were able to make Isaac’s request a reality. I know we live in a unique place in the Church and not every nonbinary child can have the same opportunities, but maybe by sharing stories like this we can change that.