Wearing pants to church.
Getting shifty eyes from the
RS President.
Girls, we need to talk.
Modesty is not only
About your shoulders.
Watching Conference.
Whenever they say “virtue,”
I eat M&Ms.
Teaching Young Women’s
“Women used to give blessings!”
Aaaand… promptly released.
“We are daughters of …”
subversively muttering…
“Heavenly Parents.”
Sunday School lesson.
Thinking about commenting…
Instead check Facebook.
If I hear you say,
“Attack on the family!”
One more time, I’ll scream.
Male youth speaker gives
women directions on how
to clean a white shirt.
(this actually happened in my ward a few weeks ago. good times.)
Activity Days
Girls do “modest fashion shows.”
Cub Scouts go camping.
“Why can’t you women
Stop trying to change the church?”
Because we love it.
Feel free to add your own haiku in the comments!
“We believe in the
Spirit of prophecy” but
Only for menfolk.
So what is a girl
Supposed to do when she finds
She’s a prophetess?
We are all gifted with personal revelation if we live righteously, women and men alike.
Repeat pat answers.
Close eyes, ignore the problem.
Why are they gone now?
Ignore all you’d like
It will never go away
Truth and righteousness
Personal is not
The prophecy I receive
It is for others.
Dream of the future
Then wait to meet future friends
Share answers to prayers.
Reach out to stranger
Offer words of things to come
Hear back of lives changed.
Mocked by those who doubt
Until great need brings them back,
Seeking to find truth.
Thanks for the smiles.
P.S. – not a fan of scouting even though it’s my current calling. LDS cubs better not be camping – it’s been a “no” in the handbook for many years.
Ooh, good to know! I’ll be having a chat with a certain den leader…
Webelos are cleared for overnights, “family camps,” where at least one parent comes, are allowed for all cubs.
After all my comments
“Yes, I agree with that, but…”
WE MUST BE CAREFUL!
Love this post!! It’s nice to be able to laugh at the frustration that church causes.
Piano callings
Watch primary kids goof off
I avoid classes
On my pedestal
Naturally nurturing
Oh no it’s wobbly
Post-sacrament mint
A favorite ritual
Minty fresh again
High council Sunday
Bring greetings from stake leaders
Time for tedium
These are excellent, Liz! I particularly love the one about muttering “Heavenly Parents.” In the same vein:
“Heavenly Mother”
Five syllables you cannot
Say safely at church
Church is a struggle
But treats are in Primary
I guess I will stay
The coffee table:
Exponent, Sunstone, Ensign.
Confused hometeachers
Look! Diversity!
One family of color
in a white, white ward.
Head, shoulders, knees and
I looked out the window and
in the sun, melted.
and one for the temple….
Eyelids droop, snooze, sleep.
…Satan’s great day of power…
Wake up now! Best part!
TopHat, I love your temple one in particular!
Head, shoulders, knees is my favorite. Too many years leading songs in Primary. Also piano callings. And the pedestal. Lots of wry smiles here.
These are genius, people!
Awesome poems!!
Here’s my effort:
Jesus, only Him.
Church can just distract from our
Savior, Healer, Lord.