#hearLDSwomen: Getting My Sealing Cancelled Was Difficult and Invasive
It took me four years to get my sealing canceled from my abusive ex-husband. I knew it was possible because a friend had gotten it done. I also knew it was a recent change in the handbook. I went through four bishops and two stake presidents during that time who all drug the process out longer to keep me from going through with it. Despite me clearly having expressed that I had prayed about it and had peace in moving forward with the cancellation was right for me, they dug their heels in and refused to let me move forward. This happened in multiple wards.
When working through my sealing cancellation process, I had to write a letter describing a myriad of things, one of which was any major sins I had committed since getting married and how it was handled. I had two post divorce dating instances when things went further than I was comfortable with but not even close to all the way. I mentioned them and going to the bishop to resolve them and being back in good standing in every way. My stake president demanded that I recount those events in full detail. He made me describe exactly how our bodies were positioned and how they moved and if I liked it, etc. I was so uncomfortable. My bishop had said I was wiped clean and never had to talk about it or think about it again, yet my stake president was forcing me to go over it again and treating me as if it was my first time confessing the sin. The way his facial expressions and body language appeared to me gave me the distinct impression that he liked hearing me talk about it and was getting some satisfaction from it. That experience scarred me. I refuse to ever be alone with him again for any reason.
– I had been pronounced clean.
Pro Tip: Respect the agency of people who decide to cancel a sealing from a former spouse. Do not ask for voyeuristic details of sexual transgressions or force someone to reconfess something already repented of.
“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)