#hearLDSwomen: I’m Not Allowed to Speak in Sacrament Meeting Unless My Husband Speaks Too
In our old ward I went to the bishop and begged to have them find a calling for my husband. He is in law enforcement and is rarely able to go to church; compound that with a less than social personality, and I am my husband’s only social group. They said, “well, he isn’t ever at church.” I responded that I know there are callings that are not Sunday specific. I had three callings at the time. They finally called him to be the building cleaning coordinator. Guess who passed around the sign up sheet, who showed up most Saturdays to unlock and made sure the building got cleaned most of the time. But when I mentioned this reality, I was told, “well, you asked for him to have a calling.”
We were trying to talk to our Bishop about me holding our baby for the blessing. During the conversation, where my husband mostly supported me by letting me talk, the bishop increasingly began addressing my husband over me. It was the hysterical woman trope come to life and it was ridiculous.
My husband is not a member of the church and also abuses alcohol. We are both from a culture where Christian religion – any Christian denomination – is frowned upon. But my salvation is my business and I am following a path in a church I love with all my heart. And though I “understand” on some levels, I feel like chattel when told that I need his permission for ANYTHING. It makes me feel like I have no value and that my blessings are really to be withheld because an alcoholic jackhole doesn’t believe as I do.
– Kerry Hawk
In another ward, we were asked to give the standard “new people” talks in sacrament meeting. My husband declined, but when I expressed my interest, the counselor said, “We don’t really do that, we’ll have to see if there’s another time…” (which of course there wasn’t.)
– Christy C.
I’ve lived in my ward for over 8 years, most of it very active, but because my husband is never-Mormon I have never been asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting, even though they know I’m a very good speaker since I have been asked to put together many presentations for Relief Society and taught both Relief Society and Primary. Without a priesthood companion I obviously have nothing worthwhile to say to the whole congregation.
– Nancy K.
“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)