#hearLDSwomen: My Bishop Asks My Husband for Permission Before Extending Me a Calling
I married when I was 32. The bishopric came over to give us their congratulations on our marriage. I was then asked to do a calling. But before he asked me, he asked permission from my husband of two weeks for me to have a church calling AND asked him if it was something I could do.
I had a bishop who would always ask my husband if I could accept a calling before asking me, but my husband never needed my permission to accept his callings. Luckily for me, my husband always replied, “That’s not up to me. You’ll have to ask her.” Fortunately that was only one bishop. No other bishop I have had has operated that way.
Shortly after we were married, a bishopric counselor in our new ward called my husband and asked if we’d speak in church. He asked my husband to tell me to speak for 10 minutes, and he asked my husband to close the meeting and speak for 15 minutes. I felt like a youth speaker.
My father was told several times that he wasn’t given bigger callings because my outspoken, feminist mother “wasn’t supportive enough”.
– Nancy K.
I have been issued and have accepted callings verbally, but because my bishop was unable to contact my husband, I was never set apart or fulfilled the callings because the bishop was unable to receive my husband’s permission for me to perform them.
Pro Tip: Respect women as fully autonomous beings. Do not ask husbands for permission before extending callings to their wives. If you would like to extend a calling with both spouses present, ensure that you do this for callings for both men and women.
“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)