#hearLDSwomen: My Bishop Did Not Let Me Receive My Endowment

Despite my worthiness (and even my husband’s willingness), my bishop would not let me receive my endowment right before I married my non-member husband as he wanted me to wait for my husband to join the church.
– Alison A.

I received my endowment just before I got married. I wanted to go through the temple before my dad (who is not LDS) got to town so that it wouldn’t be yet another part of my wedding he was there for but couldn’t go to. I was graduating college three weeks before the wedding and had a day picked out that would work, but my bishop said that the endowment couldn’t be more than two weeks before the wedding, so I couldn’t do it. My friend, whose dad was in a stake presidency, got to go through the temple four months before her wedding since her dad said it was fine. I felt like since I didn’t have a priesthood leader to advocate for me that my opinion didn’t matter.
– Julia

I wanted so badly to be endowed at 19 when all my male friends (who were usually spiritually less mature) were. I eventually received a beautiful answer to prayer that I should wait. Then, at almost 23, I felt again that I wanted to go. I brushed it off at first thinking I’d already been through this, but then my dad asked me if I’d thought about it and encouraged me to ask my bishop. A week later, I had a recommend and date set. I ended up going to the temple the day before I moved apartments within Provo. I quickly learned that my new stake had a “don’t even ask” policy in place for women wanting to go to the temple. I felt like I’d been in my last ward (where I only lived for one semester) just to be endowed when I was ready.
– Anonymous

Pro Tip: Trust women’s revelation. Do not place needless restrictions on women.

Click here to read all of the stories in our #hearLDSwomen series. Has anything like this happened to you? Please share in the comments or submit your experience(s) to participate in the series.

“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)

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5 Responses

  1. Emily says:

    My student stake also had a rule that you couldn’t be endowed more than 2 weeks before your sealing. At the time I think I thought it was a little inconvenient, but looking back I’m just like…okay seriously, why?

    • K says:

      Because it’s harder to back out of the sealing if your endowment is scheduled close to the marriage. I’ve had friends who felt pressured to go through with the sealing despite being thrown off by the endowment and the covenants made there that they don’t prepare us for. If the endowment isn’t tied closely to a sealing time-wise, I strongly think priesthood leaders worry the marriage won’t happen. It’s really sad. Our temple prep needs to be better.

  2. Jessa says:

    This is exactly the situation in my stake! SP has decided YSA sisters have to either be going on a mission, engaged, or in their mid-20s to get endowed. No idea if you’re forced to wait until a certain time period before the wedding to take out your endowments.

    I’ve taken the temple prep class and, while still supremely nervous, feel like I could handle the temple. Last month’s changes helped SO MUCH. I haven’t bothered trying to get a recommend though because I’d just get told no.

  3. Becca says:

    I felt strongly prompted at 19 to receive my endowment. I approached my bishop (at BYU-I) and was told no and he said it was “for social reasons—if you go through, your roommates will want to go through and we won’t be able to say no.” The Spirit persisted, so I asked my home bishop (Utah). He gave me the same answer: no for women unless we were getting married or going on a mission. The Spirit pushed harder. I moved to Los Angeles and asked my bishop to please tell the Spirit to leave me alone, since I already knew the answer. That bishop looked in my eyes and said “We need to get you to the temple.” I burst into tears when the man who held the power to allow me into the temple finally *heard* me. I was and continue to be grateful that my endowment was completely separate from my mission and marriage.

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