#hearLDSwomen: My Bishopric Didn’t Call the Person I Requested to Fill a Calling for Ten Months

As ward music chairman, I submitted a name for choir director. It took them ten months (ten months!) to call her, and the first counselor was really lukewarm about my pick. I told him the names of 5 other people who would be good, but they all had big callings. I invited him to make other suggestions, but said I felt confident this sister would do a good job. While waiting for her to be called, I worked with the YW president and the bishopric to start having the YW lead the music in sacrament meeting since our choristers were moving. The first counselor acted somewhat hesitant, saying the bishop wanted to limit the opportunity to just laurels and just once a month. I pushed back, saying why not have as many as want to and as often as we could have them. Three weeks later, without consulting me, they called a new chorister (she had only been in the ward three weeks and they STILL hadn’t called the choir director I’d submitted MONTHS ago). I sent an email to the first counselor saying I expected that they respect my stewardship and at least let me know when they were going to be extending music callings. I asked what the status was of having the YW conduct and what they wanted my involvement to be. He never responded.

I ultimately asked to be released. I had emailed the first counselor twice over the last few months asking him to grant the choir director and president editing access to the ward Sacrament Meeting schedule spreadsheet so they could do their callings, but he never did. He totally revoked my editing access on the day I got released, though.
– ElleK


I LOVED teaching Sunday School.

The bishopric called me to teach what they termed a “difficult class”. Apparently they’d had a hard time finding takers.

The 14yos in the class told me the demeaning nickname their former teacher had given them, and I’m ashamed to say I didn’t believe them, until I ran into their former teacher in the hall and he smirked, “Oh, you’ve got the _____?”

But I LOVED this class. I devoted what little time I had to prepping lessons, outside my 7-homeschooled-kids-two-babies life. The kids responded to me, and we had an awesome time together.

I was so happy with my accomplishments that I excitedly asked the bishopric that when assignments were made in January, if I could advance with the same group of kids, since I’d already built so much rapport with them and we were really starting to build enthusiasm for the scriptures.

Bishopric shrugged and said nope. And that was that. And it didn’t matter what I said, or how I asked.

(I’m still friends with the kids, though. They’re GOOD PEOPLE.)
– Rebecca


I was approached by the Primary President when I was an Activity Days Leader, asking why I had requested to be released from my calling (I hadn’t). When I said I was very happy where I was she looked confused, and said she had been told I was feeling tired and needed a break (I was expecting my second child). I said “No, I think you’re confusing me with my Co-Leader.” (Also pregnant, and had told me she planned on requesting a release). She insisted she had it on good authority that I did want to be let go, and it was OK for me to be honest. I finally got her to tell me that the bishop was the source of the rumor. I called a friend, who was the first counselor to the bishop, to clear up the misconception. Long story shorter, he completely gave me the run-around and acted like it wasn’t what it was. Said I was being released for completely unrelated reasons, even when I said “Look, I know the bishop got confused, that’s fine, but please speak directly to me next time.” My friend circled the wagons and wouldn’t admit to the misstep.
– Anonymous


Pro Tip: Give women as much input and control over their callings as possible, and extend callings requested by female auxiliary leaders in a timely manner. Trust women’s inspiration for their circumstances and their stewardships.

Click here to read all of the stories in our #hearLDSwomen series. Has anything like this happened to you? Please share in the comments or submit your experience(s) to participate in the series.

“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)

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3 Responses

  1. Ziff says:

    These stories are just exhausting and infuriating. I so appreciate you all sharing them, and the Exponent for posting them. I hope that at some point they’ll help push toward some helpful changes in the LDS Church, like women in leadership positions.

  2. Jan Signore says:

    I agree with Ziff. How can we engage when confronted by ward leaders like this? Discouraging. I love that you post these occurrences, hope it will help in some way.

  3. Lyceum says:

    I agree; these stories are absolutely infuriating and nearly unbelievable but it helps that they’re chronicled at least here. Having served in bishoprics before, I have no words for the bizarre behaviors in these stories. Pro Tips FTW.

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