#hearLDSwomen: My Priesthood Leaders Identify With My Husband, Not Me
When I lived in a large city where leadership was hard to find, my ex and I both had stake callings – I was the stake Primary President and he was on the high council. After some marriage problems where my stake president actually told me to put my ex’s bags on the porch (because he regularly came home from work around 4 am), the stake president thought we maybe were too busy and needed a change.
So he released me. Not my ex. Me.
I told my bishop “I’m having a hard time going to church, or even leaving my house, because I’m depressed.” He replied with “That must be really hard on your husband.”
What’s so crazy is that it took me several years to pinpoint why that bugged me. I actually replied with something like ‘ya, he’s really trying….’
Husband was abusive and greatly contributing to depression. It took me years to see his abuse as well.
My husband has never been very Church-active and regularly declines to participate. I quite often attend alone. As a newlywed in a student ward, I occasionally wasn’t given the sacrament because the tray was always handed to the men on the row.
– Christy C.
I also talked to a bishop once about struggles i was having. He decided he wouldn’t pay for therapy, not because we could afford it (we couldn’t) but because he thought I didn’t need it. I was feeling down and had no emotional support at all.
Pro Tip: Recognize that you are likely to subconsciously relate to people who are like you. When you work with women, be aware of this bias and actively fight against it. See women as people first. See women.
Click here to read all of the stories in our #hearLDSwomen series. Has anything like this happened to you? Please share in the comments or submit your experience(s) to participate in the series. “If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)