#hearLDSwomen: Objectified as a Female Gospel Doctrine Teacher

By Lisa D.

Our second week in our new ward, the bishop asked to speak to my husband and me. We chatted in his office until he came to the point: What callings had we previously held? Which callings had we most enjoyed? I said that I loved teaching Relief Society and gospel doctrine. The bishop then asked us each if we would accept new callings, me as a gospel doctrine teacher and my husband as a primary teacher. I was thrilled; my husband was willing. We accepted.

The following week in sacrament meeting, our names were called from the pulpit and my husband and I stood to be sustained in our new callings. As I sat down again, I noticed two senior missionary couples sitting next to each other a couple of rows in front of me. With a knowing look, the sisters leaned in to each other as one whispered to the other, loud enough for me to hear, “They have those callings mixed up.”

My eyes widened and I turned to my husband, “Did you hear what that woman said?” I mouthed. I leaned over and told him what I heard transpire. How dare those ladies presume that my place was in the primary room and my husband’s was with the adults!

Although I tried not to let this moment affect me or my teaching, I’m sure it did. Eventually, however, both senior couples’ missions ended and they moved away. I felt like by this time I had a good feel for the class dynamic, and how far they were willing to let me stretch and question the lesson content and teach in a more nuanced way. Most of the time I felt like class members were happy to explore the scriptures with me. But there were occasions when I got challenged in ways that I know a man in this calling would not.

For example, I was asked where I found an idea for a certain aspect of a lesson and, upon saying it was my own idea, saw surprise on the man’s face who questioned me. My husband was later asked by this same man to verify whether I had indeed thought of the idea myself.

After another class, two older men approached me, nominally to make comments about the lesson. When I disagreed with them, using personal experience to make my point, they were taken aback. The two men spoke with each other for a moment and then one of them turned to me and said, “You are very bright for a woman.” I know he meant this as a compliment, but I was so baffled that I was momentarily tongue-tied. Bright for a woman? Despite being flustered, I said “thank you” and quickly left the conversation.

I have been approached after class on more than one occasion by men wanting to say how much they enjoyed my lesson and in the same breath saying how good I looked. Comments on my clothes or hair get casually inserted next to their appreciation for my scriptural knowledge. I may receive as many comments about how I look as I do about how I teach. Do women approach men after a lesson to say how good their tie looks or how well they’ve done their hair that day? I never have.

In the year and a half that I’ve had this calling, I have experienced similarly sexist interactions on a semi-regular basis. But I’ve also taught gospel doctrine in two other wards before this one and I haven’t had half as many negative interactions. So is my ward especially sexist? Do men feel particularly free to make sexist comments here? Are other women in my ward getting gawked at and questioned the way I do? I can’t be the only one, can I? Can I?

I don’t know.

Pro-tip: Avoid using gender prescriptions when considering women’s suitability for callings. When giving women feedback, comment on the content of their ideas and work, not on their appearance or any part of their body—even if you think your comments are positive.

Click here to read all of the stories in our #hearLDSwomen series. Has anything like this happened to you? Please share in the comments or submit your experience(s) to participate in the series.

“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)