#hearLDSwomen: Ostracised for Discussing the History of Relief Society, Shamed about Modesty
I’ve gotten berated for stating the history of women having the priesthood in RS and kindly sharing my hope and opinion that this would again be the case, and I was called into the bishop’s office for it. He told me I wasn’t going to make any friends saying things like that. He didn’t even argue the point about women in the priesthood, and I doubt he even knew the history, but he chose to shame me and scare me socially instead by saying women were going to circle the wagons to protect the sanctity of the priesthood when someone says something contrary like I did.
So essentially, he knew and encouraged women to turn on other women and sort of played this puppeteer role.
Conversely, I’ve sat in gospel doctrine principles (the one for new members or investigators) and heard a grown man say that the young women (teens) in the ward need to dress more modestly because it has an effect on the men. Not the boys, the men. He went on to say it was the young women’s responsibility to portray themselves modestly to prevent this from happening. I raised my hand to push back on that disgusting comment of course and said young women are not responsible for the thoughts of grown men and that they needed to take responsibility for their own thoughts. The teacher (a man) immediately cut me off and let the disgusting comment man have another chance to say his rebuttal about how modesty is an issue and we all need to help teach the young women.
It was so awful. I still remember feeling like I was in some sort of weird social experiment and everyone was brainwashed. After that gospel principles class, the sister missionaries actually came up to me and thanked me for my comment and said this affects them all the time.
But they didn’t feel safe to say anything in class. And I can see why.
Pro Tip: Don’t encourage bullying or shaming, and don’t participate yourself.
“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23).