Hymns in the Key of Corona
Perhaps, like me, your ward is meeting via Zoom or on a similar platform. Our ward doesn’t sing hymns together anymore and I miss it. However, none of the songs really capture the flavor of our present predicament, which is why I’m submitting a few entries that you can employ in your home-centered church-supported spiral into madness.
To the tune of “Count Your Blessings”
Are you ever stuck inside with tots to spare?
Do they kick and fight and just refuse to share?
Count the days of quarantine, they won’t seem to fly
And you will be slumping as the days ooze by.
Count the quarantine (one, two three)
Count the quarantine folks not with me
Count the quarantine, it will not be fun
Count the many days you’ve been stuck with no one.
When you are all trying to work in one room
When your only contact comes to you through zoom
Count the days of Covid
Why not call a friend
You can count together days that will not end.
Count your isolation, you must shun
In your isolation all your friends and fun
Count on Covid!
Name days one by one…
You can only go outside to walk or run.
So amid the virus spread that is not small
Do not be discouraged nor visit the mall
Watch your hair grow shaggy
But don’t watch the news
You’ll be broken hearted to see doctor crews.
To the tune of “Did You Think To Pray”
Do not leave your room this morning
Folks, just stay at home.
Infection from disease is ragin’
So stop spreading the contagion
And play on your phone.
The CDC has rigid guidelines
By which all people should abide
To stop death and human suffering
Please just stay inside.
When sore trials came upon you
Did you stay at home?
When your soul was full of sorrow
A pass to Netflix did you borrow?
To feel less alone.
If you leave your room this morning
You should don your mask
Fashion mavens will admire us
If we can cut off the virus
It’s not that big an ask
A bonus worldly song for you contrary souls who sing secular music on the Sabbath (Imitate Elvis if possible):
To the tune of: Can’t Help Falling In Love With You
Wise men say
Only fools rush in
Just wait in line
To get inside the store
Six feet back
That is two cart lengths
And do not pass
We will get through this chore
Like a virus flows
Surely when we sneeze
Stranger I just ask
Please stay six feet from me
Don’t touch my hand
This is not the flu
I do not want
To get Covid from you.