In memoriam: Rebecca van Uitert and Jason Howell

It is with great sadness that the Exponent II memorializes a woman of great stature and her husband. Rebecca van Uitert and her husband, Jason Howell, were killed in a tragic accident while they were vacationing in Hawaii on Sunday, January 30, 2022. We are so grateful that Rebecca was the keynote speaker at the Exponent II’s 2019 retreat. She and Jason were truly remarkable people who worked hard to make the world a better place and advocate for those on the margins, in both their personal and professional lives. The news of their death made national news, including a feature in PEOPLE magazine.

In case you didn’t know this exceptional couple, I would like you to know the legacy they leave behind.

Rebecca, an attorney who worked for Fragomen in Salt Lake City, an immigration-focused law firm, also until recently served as the dean of Career Services at J. Reuben Clark Law School at Brigham Young University. Her colleagues at Fragomen recently wrote in their tribute to her on their website, “Becca was a talented lawyer who was dedicated to her work, her team and her clients. She was passionate about providing pro bono services, selflessly giving back to the local community and fighting for those on the margins.” At Fragomen, Rebecca led their efforts to provide free representation to women and children who had been detained by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Texas. Rebecca also worked for Fragomen at their Chicago and New York City based offices.

Rebecca is also remembered as a dedicated wife and a mom to four exceptional children. “Those who had the good fortune to know and work closely with her will remember her incredible kindness and tremendous leadership,” Fragomen wrote. “Everything Becca did was done with purpose, grace and warmth. She is deeply missed and lovingly remembered.”

BYU Law School’s dean shared another tribute memorializing the couple on their Facebook page.

“I know many of you will feel, as I do, an almost incomprehensible sense of loss that people who were such a big part of our lives and who were doing so much good in the world could be taken so young. As Dean Steele and I discussed the news, she reminded me of the hymn Be Still, My Soul. Perhaps reflecting on these lyrics can offer some solace during this time of sadness:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Jason, who was a family physician at an IHC clinic in Heber, Utah, was also remembered for his valuable contributions to the community in The Daily Universe, BYU’s newspaper, quoting from leaders at Intermountain Healthcare. “Dr. Howell was a beloved friend, physician and medical staff leader. His compassionate care and welcoming demeanor endeared him to patients and fellow caregivers. He loved the interactions with his patients and truly got to know them as he partnered to co-create holistic, personal plans to improve health. Dr. Howell will leave a lasting legacy.”

Intermountain Healthcare sent the following statement to 2News in Utah:

“All of us at Intermountain Heber Valley Hospital and Heber Valley Clinic are deeply saddened about the tragic passing of Jason E. Howell, MD and his wife, Rebecca van Uitert, JD, following a traffic accident. Dr. Howell was a beloved friend, physician and medical staff leader. His compassionate care and welcoming demeanor endeared him to patients and fellow caregivers. Dr. Howell was fluent in Spanish and a strong advocate for the Hispanic community. He loved the interactions with his patients and truly got to know them as he partnered to co-create holistic, personal plans to improve health. Dr. Howell will leave a lasting legacy.”

Services for Rebecca and Jason will be held on Monday, February 14, 2022 at 11:00 am (Mountain Time) in the Heber East Stake Center. The address is 2395 S. Mill Rd, Heber City, UT 84032. There will be a viewing held on Sunday, February 13th at the same location from 6:00 – 8:00 pm, and on the morning of the funeral between 9:30 and 10:30 am. The family asks that all attendees please wear masks. The funeral services will also be available to stream online through Myers Mortuary (www.myers-mortuary.com).

You can read Rebecca’s obituary here. You can read Jason’s obituary here.

The family has stated on Rebecca’s Facebook page that in lieu of flowers the family asks that donations be made to the van Uitert Howell Memorial Foundation, established by the family to honor their lives and continue their legacy of advocacy and service. In the coming months and years, the family will involve Rebecca and Jason’s children to determine which charitable causes the foundation should support and distribute any funds received. Many have asked what they can do to help support the children during this time and fortunately, Rebecca and Jason ensure that their children would be financially secure if something like this to were to ever happen.

To donate, you can write a check to the “van Uitert Howell Memorial Foundation” and give to a family member or donate through PayPal (paypal.me/VUHMF) or Venmo (@VUHMF).

The Exponent bloggers and friends wrote the following tributes:

Risa:

It seems like I’ve known Becca my entire life. We went to the same schools from elementary to high school. We grew up in the same stake in neighboring wards. She grew up 3 streets East from me. She and one of my childhood best friends lived next door to each other and we would often play in their backyards together. I have so many wonderful memories of Girls camp, youth activities, church dances, friends hang-outs that include Becca. When I think of Becca I think about how she always had a smile on her face and determination in her eyes. Since she was young she was ambitious and knew what she wanted to accomplish. Thinking back to high school, I can picture Becca with her backpack on full of books from all her AP classes and a violin case in one hand. We had study hall together for AP students and she encouraged me set my goals higher and believe in myself. Becca was a year older than me in school and she always said it was her dream to go to BYU, go on a mission, and then to law school…and she did all those things. I loved reconnecting with her through social media as adults. She was the same old Becca I always knew…fun, big smile, generous, and accomplished. If you knew Becca, you respected her. I admired her work with immigrants and refugees, something she got flack for on social media from conservative high school friends. I rejoiced when she and Jason adopted their children, fulfilling her life-long dream of becoming a mother. And she was the best mother. When I found out Becca and Jason were killed I refused to believe it. How could two people who are working so hard in the world to make it a better place be killed tragically in their prime? They had so much more good to do. How could their children be orphaned twice? How is that fair? I’ve really struggled with the unfairness and senselessness of their deaths in the last week. All I can do is to honor Becca’s legacy with generosity, giving back, advocating for those on the margins of society, appreciating the little joys, all with a huge smile on my face. Thank you for always being an inspiration and a friend to me, Becca. God be with you ’til we meet again.

Heather:

I met Becca at the Midwest Pilgrims retreat and was immediately drawn to her. She was smart and kind and clever, all the things one could want in a friend. I looked forward to that retreat every year in no small part because I looked forward to growing our friendship. As fate would have it, we both moved to Utah in 2018 and it was wonderful to expand the context of our relationship. I even got to attend one of her classes at BYU’s Law School and it was obvious that she was as respected as she was adored by her students. She drew people to her, like a sun, giving warmth and helping others grow and heal. My favorite memory is when Kirsten Campbell and I got her to agree to be the keynote for the 2019 retreat. It took convincing, because despite her abundance of talents, she kept insisting she had nothing to say that was worthy of a keynote. Of course she was brilliant. And I loved watching her shine.

Libby:

I met Rebecca at a Midwest Pilgrims retreat in 2013. She had so much energy and such big ideas! I loved watching her humanitarian success in refugee advocacy, loved following her through their adoption journey, loved helping her apply to a leadership conference when she and the kids were sick with the flu, loved the Davis County connections we had through our parents. I was thrilled that the Exponent board agreed to invite her to be our keynote speaker in 2019, and cried at her story of how she came to be an immigration activist. She was a light in the darkness, a bright spot in a world where too few of us think about “the least of these.”

Aimee:

One of the most fortifying gifts of my adult life has been attending retreats with other women where we don’t have time for small talk and cut straight to the nitty-gritty of the stuff that propels us forward or the impediments that we need to blast out of our way. These weekends together rely on extending immediate trust, and the promise to hold each other’s stories in confidence with honor and tenderness. It’s why after only a few weekends together I feel Becca’s loss so keenly and why I can hardly imagine the unfathomable grief those closest to her and Jason must be feeling after their sudden tragic loss—especially their children.

The first time I met Becca in person was at a Midwest Pilgrims retreat in Nauvoo. She was able to talk about complicated experiences and ideas with such vulnerability at the same time she could precisely name and eviscerate unjust and inhumane attitudes that make life for everyone on this planet more difficult. She was raw, and funny and smart and I admired her instantly.

A few months after that retreat, she and Jason met and began to foster their children. Watching their family come together and grow up over social media these past six years was such a gift to all of us who knew even a little bit of their story. What was evident in their photos was also evident in the way Becca spoke of her family—they weren’t just taking these four siblings in to save them, Becca and Jason were also saved by them. Where I think many people see parenting as primarily a responsibility—and as a society we often especially project this onto adopted families—Becca spoke of her parenting and nurturing primarily as building individual relationships. While she was tending to all the familiar caretaking experiences most anyone with children deal with, she seemed mindful of the importance of developing and deepening her connection and relationship with each of her children in a way that helped me reframe my own parenting. Becca didn’t meet her children just on that first day at the park in LA—she met them again and again as they grew into the people they are still becoming. She and Jason could see soulmates in their children and used everything this world offers to seal themselves together. While I personally have a complicated relationship to the LDS temple, I believe it’s most powerful purpose lies in giving families like Becca’s a ritual that supersedes law and is born in love to bind these chosen relationships together throughout time. I’m so hopeful it will be a comfort to their children now.

Sending so much love to their families, the communities they loved and served, and an ocean of grieving friends admirers.

Kirsten Campbell:

I met Rebecca many years ago at a Midwest Pilgrims retreat. At these retreats we give each other a precious gift, the gift of trust. There isn’t time to cultivate long, deep friendships in a way that can be done over years of time spent together. Instead we take a leap of faith and gift each other with a part of our hearts, trusting one another to hold sacred the things we would talk about each year. Rebecca’s smile and warm introduction drew me to her and I felt like we became instant friends. Each year when we would gather for the retreat, I always loved reconnecting with her and hearing about her life and how things were going. We shared our ups and downs—we laughed and we cried—together. I remember her sharing the poignant, painful story of infertility and the joyous journey of their adoption of Maria, Manny, JJ, and Roxy. Being adopted myself, we connected on the sweetness of the sealing ordinance for families created in such a special way. I told her that God knew I was supposed to be with my family– He just had to find a creative way for me to get me there. She understood that perfectly. Oh how she loved her kids! Her face would light up any time someone asked about them. The joy she had in being a mom to four amazing children radiated from her being.

In 2019, we asked Rebecca if she would be the keynote speaker at the Exponent retreat, one similar to the Midwest Pilgrims. She was surprised and asked whatever could she have to talk about?! Her keynote address was one of the best we’ve ever had. She spoke openly about her faith, her work, her family, and the struggles she has had. The most emotional part of her address was her description of how her, Jason, and the kids became a family. I know that her words will serve as a snapshot overview of her incredible life. I am glad to know that her family has this document and can read about her life from her own words.

I will miss my friend, but know that I’ll get her see her one day again. It will be like seeing her across the room at the retreat. We will smile, embrace, and start talking about where life has taken us during our time apart. She has inspired me to do better and to be better.