Guest Post: It May be Legal But Is It Moral?
Guest Post by Lavender. Lavender was thrilled to discover that a few generations ago, her ancestors had the last name of Lavender. A Midwesterner who has lived her adult life in Logan and Salt Lake City, Utah, she enjoys biking, skiing, hiking in the desert, reading, eating dark chocolate, and diagramming sentences. Lavender recognizes the value of educational and professional opportunities that continually push her to grow. Most of all, she gives credit to her daughters whose questions from the time they were tiny pushed her onto the path of feminism.
O
n a recent Sunday afternoon a group text was sent to young women and parents asking who was planning on attending young women’s camp and youth conference this summer. As responses rolled in, I asked for information regarding covid precautions: would vaccines be encouraged and negative covid tests required? The covid vaccination rate in our area is barely over 34% with ages 12-15 only recently eligible to receive the vaccine. Young women’s camp will occur before any 12-15 year olds have enough time to be fully vaccinated.
When the young women’s president came to my home to answer my question in person, her response was startlingly unexpected. She said they were not legally required to take any precautions and so would not be doing anything. If I was uncomfortable with my yet-to-be-fully-vaccinated daughters attending, then I should plan on them staying home. She also informed me that because she feels differently about the vaccine than I do, that it is really hard for her to talk to me about it.
Picture me with my mouth agape. I still do not know how to process this; an action that was the opposite of the commandment to love our neighbors. I am stunned that a neighbor, ward member, and youth leader is fine with potentially exposing other people, including the young women in her stewardship, to a contagious virus whose effect is unpredictable. Since this conversation, I have had to pause during the day to take deep breaths, meditate, pick up a slam ball and throw it to the ground a bunch of times; whatever I can do to stay grounded. At least I have done the work to separate my relationship with God out from my relationship with the church. I can take this to God; already I have felt Heavenly Mother’s awareness of me. My daughters are Her daughters too.
The bigger picture problem, in my opinion, is lack of consistent guidance from the church. I realize this has been a problem throughout the pandemic. I also realize that since I have not had to face any issues with the church locally during the pandemic that this now seems big to me. There are others who have been dealing with frustrating leadership choices for a long, long time.
Another problem is a cultural tendency to assume that because it is a church activity, that means those in charge have made it safe. I expressed my bewilderment to a friend that while church guidance around covid is inconsistent and lacking in thoroughness, Girl Scouts across the country have made significant adaptations to camp this summer to prevent covid transmission. Our local council held an hour-long zoom call to explain the adaptations, which include testing prior to arrival along with other items, and provide an opportunity for parents and girls to ask questions. Why not the same level of concern from church leaders? I acknowledge that the church is staffed by lay people. At the same time, the church also has an office tower full of employees from nearly every professional field including risk management. Why the silence about covid precautions at youth activities this coming summer? I believe that as parents we must not give away our authority to others by acquiescing on our obligation to ensure our children’s safety. We must ask questions and establish boundaries.
So, what to do about camp and youth conference? After this encounter, my daughters will not attend. Does it do any good, though, to write to the general young women’s presidency in hope that they will at least be aware of what is happening and perhaps make guidelines to protect the youth? Just because my local government does not legally require any precautions, it is not moral for anyone in the church to not to take precautions. This is one of many experiences that has galvanized in me the desire to always speak up for the marginalized, to always think of the ‘least of these’, to remember that every other human being on this planet is my neighbor and a child of God.
I have had very similar experiences with our YW president who does not take Covid seriously, attends anti-mask rallies and refused to ask kids to wear masks even when the stake and bishopric had asked us to, etc. It’s the worst. Never before has a political divide (which is at least in my case 100% what this is) had such an impact on my day-to-day living in Church because other people’s political beliefs actually impact my family / community’s health.
The solution would be for the Church to show some leadership. They haven’t. My stake is treating this totally differently from the adjacent stake even tho (being in Utah county) our demographic is pretty much identical. Why? The other stake president is a doctor and taking things way more seriously. “Leadership roulette” has never been so literal.
Anyway, I hear you and I see you. This is so hard.
Thank you. My heart needed to be seen.
“At least I have done the work to separate my relationship with God out from my relationship with the church.” Well said. I must do the same. At this point I have no desire to return to weekly church meetings, given the number of people on our area who have no regard for the safety of others for the sake of politics, or as they see it, “freedom”. I love the gospel. However I’m in need of a different community.
I wish I could give you a hug. This stuff is hard. The church is diverse yet our experiences with the church are based on the microcosm of people we actually worship with. When those people show no regard for others, it stings. I’m still stinging. I wish you the best on separating out relationships with God and church. It isn’t easy but so very much worth it. For me, a trusted therapist has been a invaluable part of this process. On the outside things haven’t change much –I still go to church and I have added other spiritual practices to my life and expanded my community — but inside I’ve changed a lot.
I’m there with you.
It boggles my mind that people who have presumably prayed for an end to the pandemic, or for a vaccine choose not to accept the answer to their prayers. The vaccine is a brass serpent – readily available and free to all-just get it.
If I had teenaged children I would not send them to camp.
The church has not displayed the type of leadership I hoped to see in this situation. The prophet is a physician and I expected something other than seeing him vacuum.
My ward still offers YouTube meetings and I am not looking forward to going back. Long ago I separated my relationship with the Lord from “the Church”.
As cynical as it may sound, this approach makes sense from a liability standpoint. From what I understand, the church rescinded many decision making “keys” for local leaders at the beginning of the pandemic because *it helps protect the ‘Corporation of Jesus Christ of LDS’ from liability* BUT is now returning that power on a local level because IF an adverse COVID event should cause someone to sue the church now that government restrictions are loosened, Headquarters can use the excuse that any decisions were made by local authority, and therefore the Corporation isn’t liable.
I’ve seen this play out in my ward over injuries sustained at a youth activity. The church washed its hands of all liability and expected the local leaders to fund their own defense. 100% NOT OK in my humble opinion.
You make a very good point about liability and it’s infuriating. They have all of our tithing money sitting in large reserves but don’t want to take responsibility for the safety of its members. A number of years ago the scout leaders in a ward I attended erroneously didn’t seem to know they had to get permits for a particular hike. They were simply naive volunteers. The rangers did a spot check and decided to make an example of them, landing them in court on several charges and the embarrassment of pictures in local news outlets. Did the church support them and help them with legal fees? A big fat NO. Some of us made donations to assist them – wish I’d thought to count that as part of my tithes!
These stories are horrifying. The Church as a corporation is a different animal than the religious face they project.
I wish that writing a letter to the YW general presidency could make a difference, but they are beholden to get approval from the GAs before they do anything (even change a hymn in their own general meeting).
I am a nurse that works with immunocompromised patients and have worked hard during the pandemic to protect my patients. I have been repeatedly disappointed in my local leadership and the general leadership of the church. It has been the final straw on my “shelf”. I hear you and empathize with you Lavender. <3
I’m aghast at this leader’s approach to this topic. Just because it’s not legally required, they are not going to use the kind of caution advocated for by thousands of medical professionals? I too would keep my daughter home.