Lesson #1,946,563 For Living a Nuanced and Complex Life

I begin with a disclaimer.

This post is not specifically about any single person or incident. I would love to be able to say it is. We could all focus on addressing that one person or incident, and be done.

What a world that would be.

This is about a very human tendency to avoid doing the difficult work of confronting fear and prejudice, of wanting to be told what to do and think, of giving in to the habit of repeating past rhetoric, or patterns that entertained in the past. We all tend to fall into these patterns, and people in leadership are as likely as anyone.

I encourage people to consider this (and teach your children as well)…

Just because someone is in a position of authority or leadership, especially in a church with lay ministry, that does not automatically mean they are an expert or knowledgeable about anything.

It does not automatically mean they have struggled to understand, or emulate the radically transformative gospel of Christ, or learned to minister unto the least of these.

Just because someone is speaking at a podium, even on an assigned subject, it does not automatically mean they have studied, understood or wrestled with that subject.

It doesn’t automatically mean they are an effective speaker.

It does not mean that they are free from fear, or prejudice, or horrible moods, or being influenced by their past, or present circumstances and health problems. It does not mean that their talk or presentation will not be impacted by their fear, or circumstance, or health, or mood.

Just because someone is a professor in a religion department which does not require any degree or training in religion, or theology, or ministry, or church history – that does not mean they have any accurate knowledge or understanding of religion or anything that influences it.

Just because someone has led groups on tours to various cultural and historic sites, that does not make them expert in understanding the history and nuance of many aspects of complex cultures.

Just because someone has, in the past, been inspiring or compassionate or said words that made a long lasting and positive difference to you – that does not automatically mean that everything they do or say for the rest of their life will or has to have the same impact. I have had incredible experiences where I benefitted from what I consider inspired, even lifesaving  words or help from leaders. And I have had experiences where some of those same leaders, after years of shifting their focus from ministering to the one, and seeking to listen and learn more than instruct, instead started to fear anything they can’t control, and to think the most important thing is to please higher leadership by eliminating any voice or behavior that they can’t control or understand.

Just because someone has, in the past, been hardline or insensitive or unwilling to consider further light and knowledge about practice or teachings that are harmful and contradictory to the gospel of Christ – that does not automatically mean that they never will do the hard work of confronting their prejudice and fear, and change their hearts, minds and words. Spencer W. Kimball had always been supportive of the reasons given for the racist Priesthood Ban, and had not aligned with attempts to change it. That is, until he did the work of confronting his own racism, and the impact of it on the body of the church. He also did the hard work of being a leader who inspired others in leadership to confront their own racism, and be willing to consider what they had not considered before. They needed to seek greater light and knowledge about how completely all are alike unto God. They needed to be unanimous in removing the Priesthood Ban. Reading about this in the second SWK autobiography “Lengthen Your Stride” is an excellent look at seeing how amazing things can happen when leaders focus on seeking ways to first see how they can personally repent of fears or prejudice or exclusion, and then do the difficult work of, not shaming or guilting, but inspiring others to do so. I can’t help but wish and wonder what could have been possible if he had also confronted his homophobia.

Most of all, just because someone has an assignment to answer questions in a setting where people, especially young people are invited to submit them and come for answers and information, that does not mean that this someone is capable of listening, considering, having compassion on those who are wrestling and possibly hurting, or be willing to say they don’t know the answer, while also acknowledging the importance and value of seeking.

It is okay to get that just because someone is at the pulpit, it doesn’t mean they are wise, or compassionate, or loving, or knowledgeable. And when they start ranting, and saying insensitive things, it is completely appropriate to get up and leave, or ask them to step back, or end the meeting with a different message, or do all in your power to interrupt the harm.

It is okay to point out harm and hurt and dangerous words, and all that causes them.

And it is important to call for the need to have informed speakers for specific subjects – to verify the ability and training of someone before they are ever in a position to respond to questions, especially for young people – to remind anyone in leadership positions that they are not there to be an expert, or to have to have an answer, and that they need to at the very least do no harm. Support them in every way to be like and speak of Christ. Let them know when that does not happen, and why it is harmful. Thank them when they stand up to harmful rhetoric of any kind, especially if it might put their position on the corporate ladder at risk. It is hard for all of us to remember what Christ taught – that the ultimate test for any of us is how we treated the least of these, not how we pleased or gratified those who hold leadership callings.

There is no excuse for any speaker or leader to do such harm.

There is no excuse when other leaders do not stop or interrupt damaging words when they become aware of them.

There is no excuse for anything less than a complete and thorough apology for every harmful part of a talk, including an in-person apology to the same audience – including apologies from other leaders who were present and did nothing.

There is no excuse for anything less than an official apology from leaders for past actions and policies and messaging that is used to support and excuse harmful rhetoric and actions. When harmful teachings were repeated and excused for well over a century, it will take repeated and consistent efforts to overcome the continuation of that reasoning. It has been nearly 44 years since the ban was removed, and we are still hearing the same inaccurate reasoning and excuses for it. Every harmful instance needs to be called out.

There is no excuse for any messaging, from anyone at any level that insists we are to give absolute loyalty and agreement to leaders. Everyone needs to be a part of confronting and minimizing that harmful and impossible claim.

My suggestions here are not about insisting that leaders are supposed to be flawless, or more willing and able then others to do the hard work of seeking greater light and knowledge, of more completely living the covenants we all take on to mourn together, and bear one another’s burdens, and care for the least of these, and love one another without condition. My suggestion is that we all need to get that leaders are not flawless, or any more capable of Christlike behavior than any of us. I suggest we all see each other through that filter, stop idolizing leaders, watch and hope for when they are fulfilling the essence of their calling – which is to testify of and lead us to Christ – and don’t give automatic or blind support when they don’t.

My suggestions here are not to point a finger at those who are hurt. The harm of ignorant, fearful ranting is real, and deadly.

I only say these things in hope that people, especially young people, will not automatically assume knowledge and authority and skill in people just because of their title, or voice. I hope more people will feel able, and capable of standing and speaking in the face of it, calling for us all to be responsible participants in the community we say we want to be. I have already felt such hope from those voices who are doing this today, and everytime this happens anywhere.

It is important to be a part of the peer review process, especially when it has anything to do with pastoral care, or ministering, or participating in a faith community. This is not unique to any church. And it is playing out in similar ways in all parts of our society.

I hope we will keep in mind how hard it is to do personal shadow work, and have merciful awareness of that as we see others struggle with taking that on. It is a miserable life, to be afraid of new understanding, unwilling to seek wisdom because it might contradict closely held certainty, afraid to do or say anything that might not fit what you imagine or are told is expected of your image, to always feel a need to diminish anyone who might be different, or even have a question that is different from your own. Mostly, I hope we will focus our energy on helping and supporting those who are vulnerable or harmed by the words and actions of people who resist doing the work of loving ministry, and who use their position to excuse themselves from that.

When someone in leadership is not putting in the work of ministry, of learning complexity, of practicing our covenants to mourn together, share burdens, and to be Christlike – they are being lazy leaders.

Being a lazy leader is not part of their calling. Don’t support it.