Mormonism and the Focus on Sex
I made this comment in a friend’s facebook thread a few months ago. My friend was finally leaving her marriage and was blaming herself for her husband’s infidelity, a theory in which I adamantly disagreed. Do you agree or disagree? On my good days, I think Mormons are focused on Christ. But on other days….. well, read for yourself. Please keep in mind, my New Yorker sarcasm* is strong.
I personally think that when you meet anyone with [control or blame issues], and they are Mormon—the problem is found in sex. Sex is HUGE in the church.
Think about it: Men have more than one wife, and some claim it is because there were so many dead men from mobs and so on? Not true. Then there’s the story that men need more than one wife so they can populate the earth with “righteous spirits,” – ya know—so men need lots of women for pro-creative sex. Then the teaching that we have sex in heaven. Because eternity for women means eternal pregnancy, which means eternal sex. This is pretty much the only time we get taught about Heavenly Mother—because we aren’t supposed to talk or pray to her, and not really teach or even speak about her (thanks, Gordon B. Hinckley!), so she is basically the lesser God who gave spirit birth to us, and nothing else. It’s like Father God only likes Her for sex, too.
Then we get taught that men have less willpower when it comes to sex, so women have a bigger responsibility to “protect” men from bad thoughts—i.e. men followed satan’s plan and have no agency, but women followed Christ and have agency (um. What?). Then, men get to interview women and ask them about sex—seriously, the “leadership” here asked my 7 year old daughter if she obeyed the law of chastity in her baptismal interview—then when she didn’t know what he was talking about, he tried to describe somewhat of what he was talking about to her (sexual abuse, anyone?) (I was in the interview and stopped him, then emailed a follow up complaint.)
But men get to ask girls and women of this as a matter of fact in the church — ya know, because men get priesthood because they are the right sex for that, and women get babies (oh, wait—except for infertile women—you’re just evil. Or useless. Or get to be pregnant in the next life. Or something.) Then gay people are bad because – no, no—not the fall of Adam where we all have individual (random) differences—no, gay folks are just plain evil and they like evil sex. (*sarcasm reminder. I don’t believe homosexuality is evil) Oh, and if you were around pre-1985, homosexuality was believed to be cured by getting married and having heterosexual sex. Sex cures! Then we get porn—and who’s fault is that? WOMEN! Of course! I mean, David was a fallen prophet—not a peeping Tom, amiright? A prophet who couldn’t keep it in his pants with all those wives and concubines. Darn that Bathsheba for bathing! She beguiled him not knowing he was even around!
So then we change the word “modesty” from meaning “humble” (the meaning everyone else still uses) to mean something “not-sexy.” Then, we start dressing 2 year old girls with t-shirts under their sun dresses whilst we let boys run around without shirts—sexualising the shoulders of TWO YEAR OLD GIRLS. And then we wonder why Utahans are so into porn – when we even treat CHILDREN like sex objects!!
Oh, and speaking of that baggage, Brother Ballard – thanks for also telling women that thongs (the shoe kind) are “immodest”/disrespectful for women to wear to church! Because a pair of $2 thongs is NOT modest but a pair of $80 closed-toe shoes is! (We don’t even mention men’s shoes, but we sure do comment on even women’s shoes in general conference!)
And why should Young Men go on missions? Because you only get sex if you go to the celestial kingdom! And you get to the celestial kingdom (and get virgins as bonus prizes- D&C 132:61-62) if you are a great missionary! But because you went on a mission, you now deserve a sexy wife. Just for you! A sexy wife is a sex prize for being a righteous RM! That’s why if you are female and overweight, or don’t have the right hair, or anything else unfashionable—well, you’re a “sweet spirit,” but not sexy enough to be wife material—those RMs need trophy wives as prizes! (*sarcasm reminder)
There’s a reason why I married a non-Mormon: I could not take the sex baggage. (And he joined the church —but he also loves me for me, not for sex. Very un-Mormon of him.) IMO, until the church sees fit to give women priesthood keys, Mormon women will be subject to the sex issues of the church and will continue to shoulder the weight of all of these issues alone.
Just my $0.02. But I think it’s all about the Mormon focus on SEX. What do you think?