Persisters in Zion/Daughters of Exponent: a Medley


Every year at the Exponent retreat I find myself belting it out at the talent show.  Which is hilarious because I am no singer. But I have a strange gift that I trot out annually: I’m sort of a Mormon housewife version of Weird Al. Taking hymns and substituting wacky lyrics for reverent ones gives me deep, deep joy. Past songs have included “Come ye Husbands of the Ward” and “The Modesty Song.”  This year Liz inspired me to take the oft sung YW/YM medley, “Sisters in Zion” and “Army of Helaman,” and give it a political twist.  For dramatic effect, the Red Hot Mamas sang it through all the way, then divided and blended verses 3 and 4, singing the final chorus together. Of course there were props. There are always props. Be inspired to come up with your own.

As Persisters in Zion we’ll stand up to douche bags,

We’ll try to build bridges instead of huge walls.

And those who insist upon grabbing our kitties

Will find out that bravery does not come from balls.


Persisters in Zion are women of action–

Calling out haters and shouting the truth.

Let’s not hang with Nazis; let’s fight for the Dreamers

And show off our power in the voting booth!


We have been shown, like our mother Eve

To stand up boldly for what we believe.

We have been taught by first lady Michelle

That we should go high while they go to hell!


Oh we are here as daughters of Exponent.

Enlarging the circle of love.

And we will try to make this a safe place

To honor our Mother above.





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9 Responses

  1. Caroline says:

    Love this song! It was absolute genius. (Douche bags, kitties, balls, even wonderful Michelle Obama. It had it all! ha!!!) I look forward to your songs every year, Heather.

  2. Moss says:

    Oh, this is gold. That EFY Medley is drives me nuts. Every time we get a new ward choir director and they drag it out like we’ve never freaking heard it before. Now I have something funny to think about instead.

  3. Emily U says:

    Oh my goodness, I’m sorry I missed this! I love it! You just keep ’em coming, Heather.

  4. spunky says:

    Oh, I love these!!! This is the kind of church choir I long to be in! Meaningful lyrics and my mediocre voice! Well done!

  5. Patricia I Johnson says:

    Just too old for some of this, but laughing anyway!!!

  6. Melody says:

    I love you so stinking much for this. Thank you. Bless you.

  7. Olea says:

    Oh my gosh. So many perfect lyrics. You’re wonderful, Heather.

  8. Lisa V Hadley says:

    You’ve really outdone yourself, Heather!

  9. emilyhbutler says:

    Hahahah! I had to go back and read this YET AGAIN. This is the new gold standard against which all other medleys while have to be measured.

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