One fairly common source of conflict in a marriage is how, and where to spend the holidays. The most common solution I’ve seen is to spend Thanksgiving with one set of grandparents/in-laws, and Christmas with the other set then do the opposite next year. However it seems that blended families and second marriages throw a wrench in that tidy set up. And anyways when do you quit going back to your parent’s house and start doing things on your own?
One thing that my parents started doing is having Pre-holidays. For example the weekend before official Thanksgiving most of their kids come home and share a big meal (though not necessarily turkey & fixings). This allows kids that couldn’t get time off of work on the official holiday to still make it home, it allows married kids to spend time with their other families without turning it into a competition or source of conflict, and gives their kids room to start their own holiday traditions if they want.
Holidays and celebrations are more about relationships than actual dates, and I know that the flexibility my parents have adopted for celebrating in non-traditional ways has been a great boon to my marriage and is a tradition I hope to pass down to my own kids.
How do you decide where and with whom to spend the holidays?