Do you think English is a sexist language? Many years ago, I graduated with a degree in Linguistics. Sometimes I ruminate on language usage. English usage reflects the culture of sexism ubiquitous among English speakers over many centuries.
A stereotypical man is a strong, confident leader. He is ambitious, decisive, enterprising, determined, independent, and he commands respect. ‘Man up’ means to be brave. The slang term ‘have balls’ also means be courageous. On the other hand ‘like a girl’ is an insult, and the slang term ‘pussy’ means coward.
To insult a man you emasculate him. Call him a feminine term like ‘sissy’ (which used to mean “sister”). Another way to insult a man is to call him a bastard (which is really an insult to his mother) or a cuckold (which is an insult to his wife). The only sexual insult I can think of for a man is to call him ‘impotent’ or ‘flaccid’. (What a double standard, to insult a man by criticizing his sexual ability, while women are insulted for being sexually competent!)
There are no comparative insults for a woman’s father or husband. However, I find it interesting that the same traits that are seen as noble and desirable in men have a derogatory spin when they are found in females. Women are referred to as ‘aggressive’, ‘bossy’, ‘opportunistic’, ‘overambitious’, ‘pushy’, ‘overbearing’, and ‘shrill’. A stereotypical female is nurturing, submissive, helpful, and quiet.
A woman’s emotional state many be criticized as hormonal, hysterical, or irrational. She is also criticized for expressing ‘unwomanly’ feelings, called ‘feisty’ or ‘angry’ to invalidate her. The way we talk about women often implies that their value lies in their appearance rather than their mind or contributions. Young women who care about their appearance may be called ‘high maintenance’ while those who are less concerned with appearance may be called ‘frumpy’. A woman who doesn’t embrace a stereotypically feminine look may be called ‘butch’. One of the most common ways to attack a woman is to criticize her appearance by calling her fat and ugly, or by critiquing her appearance in any way. Though physical attractiveness has the same spectrum for men and women, men are rarely insulted for not meeting these arbitrary standards.
Insults most commonly applied to older women include ‘crone’, ‘hag’, or ‘witch’. I’ve read that calling women a witch during the Salem witch trials was a way men got back at powerful women, such as midwives or property owners. Here in the United States we see this every time a woman gets too popular politically. Men have trouble tolerating powerful women and attack their character and appearance.
Mom jokes were popular when I was growing up. People made up elaborate insults to someone’s mother in order to insult them. ‘Yo momma’ slurs are still a common practice. I wasn’t able to discover how long this has been going on, but I’m quite sure they are not a recent development.
I found it easy to come up with a list of many insults that are particularly female, while there are relatively few that are particularly male.
A few female-directed insults use animal terms like ‘bitch’ (female dog), but insulting a woman is usually done by attacking her sexuality. A woman who doesn’t want sex is ‘prude’ or ‘frigid’. A woman who likes to flirt is a ‘cock tease’. If she likes younger men she’s a ‘cougar’. If she likes older men she may be characterized as a ‘gold-digger’. The ultimate insult for a woman is often to call her one of the many many terms for a sex worker, such as ‘harlot’, ‘prostitute’, ‘strumpet’, or ‘whore’. I’ve heard people try to justify this by saying these are insults regarding specific behaviors, but they are 1. Not used only against women who engage in such behaviors 2. Explicitly gendered with no counterpart for males who are sexually promiscuous. If men are not going to be called anything in particular for acting sexual, why do we have so many derogatory words for sexually active females? After all, both are equally sexual by nature.
Language change manifests in many ways. I am particularly interested here in semantic shift, or the change in the meaning of words over time. One way it can change is to take on a more positive (amelioration) or negative (pejoration) connotation. Interestingly, these lexical changes tend to be sexist in English. Accordingly, male terms tend to enjoy amelioration, while female terms suffer pejoration. For example, the word ‘knight’ came from a germanic word meaning ‘servant’, which came to mean ‘nobleman’ and ultimately ‘gallant hero’. On the contrary, ‘Mistress’ used to be the feminine counterpart of ‘Master’, but now refers to a sexually promiscuous woman who maintains a relationship with a married man. ‘Master’ still means a position of power. ‘Madam’ used to be a term of respect and position comparable to ‘Sir’. Now it is used to mean a woman who runs a brothel. I find it shocking how many innocuous words have turned into sexual slurs against women. ‘Hussy’ came from ‘housewife’, but now refers to a promiscuous woman. ‘Slut’ came from a word meaning ‘sloppy’. ‘Tart’ came from a pastry. Why is it that women are slandered from every side in regards to sexuality, while a sexually active man is praised?
Even a faithful married woman may be called a ‘ball and chain’. There is so little stigma on male sexuality, it is difficult to compare. The expectation for women to be submissive results in negative slurs for women who try to exert influence over men. She may be called ‘pushy’ or ‘sassy’. She may be characterized as a ‘complaining’ ‘she-devil’ or ‘harpy’. The stereotype of a ‘nagging’ (from gnaw) wife is widespread, while there is no counterpart for a nagging husband. He is expected to get his way, so he is never characterized as nagging, even when he behaves the same way.
I know there are insults for men, but I find they are far fewer, and far less widespread. Yes, a man may be called a ‘dick’. But a slur referring to genitals is also found for females (‘cunt’). In most cases where there are feminine slurs there are no male counterparts.
There are so many slurs, it is impossible to discuss them all here, slurs for economically disadvantaged people, ethnic slurs, slurs for people all along the gender and sexuality spectrums. I chose to look at the easy male-female binary, and I’d love to hear someone else go deeper revealing other ways the English language discriminates. Additionally, I presume this pattern is similar in other languages – that those with a strong history of cultural sexism will reflect a more sexist language. It would be interesting to hear if that plays out in other languages.
We are often blind to our own language use because it is such a strong cultural habit. I don’t think that people consciously perpetuate these harmful ideas, but they are so widespread in our language that they end up being repeated over and over. Becoming aware may help us begin to break out of this cycle, and perhaps even reclaim words to ameliorate their meanings as the recent attempt to reclaim“nasty woman”.
In the end, our language usage reflects our underlying assumptions. It shows us that the behaviors and characteristics of men and women respectively have different standards and implications. Although we have made strides toward equality, our language shows us that men and women are not considered equal.
Thank you for this post, chiaroscuro. It’s painful but important to see just how language is used to discriminate.
I think of the verb “father” which means contribute sperm; whereas, “mother” means to nurture.
Crazy cat lady. Not an equivalent term for a man who prefers the companionship of his dog over people.
Hustera is the Greek word for womb and it’s where we get the term hysteria and hysterical. Both of those words imply a woman’s point of view can’t be trusted.
Testes, the plural for of testis, are Latin words that mean testimony. It means that a man’s word can be trust simply because he has the proper equipment.
I thought of a few more pejorative terms that apply to particularly to women, but thought they might not be allowed here. I may be pushing it with this comment. I don’t know.
thank you, these are great examples
There is no male equivalent to a crazy cat lady! I have two customers who self identify as such. One of them has 9 electronic access feeding bowls in her dining room, each able to be opened by the cat with the correct collar that unlocks it. They get different foods and/or different portion sizes. She had me build a “Catio” for them in the yard.
You can also insult a man by calling him any word meaning homosexual. I suppose that having sex with a man is seen as emasculating somehow, putting the man in the position of a woman. Calling a woman a lesbian is not as insulting, which I find kind of funny. A woman who has sex with lots of men is worse than a woman who has sex with women, which is exactly reversed for men.
I’m encouraged by the attempts at ameliorating ‘crone’.
I think the dick v. cunt one is interesting too, just in terms of severity. Calling someone a dick, or their behavior dickish, is fairly mild. They’re being a jerk and their behavior is selfish and irritating. A cunt, on the other hand, is such an offensive word that I had honestly never heard it until I was an adult, and only now can I recognize references to it. (Re-watching Arrested Development, I now understand the joke about their yacht the Seaward). In my experience, dick is a pretty mild form of obscenity. I’d say it, and I’d say hell, or maybe damn if I felt strongly enough. I’d never say the c word in a million years and I’d be pretty offended if I heard anyone else say it. People named Richard still sometimes go by dick. I’ve never heard of a Cunegonde going by Cunt.
Not that anyone outside Voltaire goes by Cunegonde.
Great post! What came to my mind is adventurer vs. adventuress. The first has a mostly neutral connotation. The latter connotes a woman doing shady things, I think often in the context of obtaining money. Yes, English definitely has its problems.
Is the English language sexist or discriminatory? Or, does the way we use the language reveal our deep ingrained sexist attitudes? I think it is the latter. What the OP has shown is that language evolves. Did the language create the sexist attitudes or did the attitudes direct/transform the use of the language? I think most of these examples are excellent representations of our society’s both covert and overt sexism.
Men have been extremely creative, prolific, and diverse in their means to criticize and demean women. But I wouldn’t say that the English language itself is inherently sexist, rather that people have been quite adept at manipulating language to express their sexist attitudes.
I think this statement:
“Men have been extremely creative, prolific, and diverse in their means to criticize and demean women.”
Is a pretty good come back for the next time any of us hears a pejorative word about women.