Hey there. It sounds like maybe you’ve discovered that the church you love and the people in it are a little bit sexist.
Maybe you noticed that a woman’s voice carries less weight.
Maybe you have been a victim of public shaming over accidental “immodesty”.
Maybe you have been asked one many times why you haven’t gotten married yet (as though that’s something you can easily control).
Maybe you went to the temple and came away with an icky feeling.
Maybe you have failed to start a family, and have thus found yourself in the midst of a personal crisis.
Maybe you’re a little bit lesbian (or trans or queer or something other than the cis-het woman you were expected to be).
Maybe you’re trying to figure out how to get by on a smaller income than your male peers.
Maybe you’re struggling to get garments that fit right, that don’t give you infections, that make sense with the shape of your body.
Maybe you are trying to exercise your spiritual gifts, but they don’t match up with the gender role you have been assigned.
Maybe you have spent a small fortune on beauty products because part of you knows that your youth and attractiveness are your most valuable (and fickle) assets.
Maybe you are getting a divorce.
Maybe you have been personally harmed by members of your community who care too much about protecting a man’s reputation.
Maybe you have been assaulted by a priesthood leader.
Maybe you struggle under the weight of the unrealistic standards that all women are held to.
Maybe you just had a baby, and she’s a girl, and you wonder how to raise her in a church that is unlikely to embrace her full potential.
Maybe you just had a baby, and he’s a boy, and you are broken hearted to find that the church loves him more because he will grow up to be one of them.
Maybe you long to lay your hands on someone’s head and speak comfort to them from the Holy Ghost.
Maybe Heavenly Mother has moved in you, and now you can’t pray to the Father alone.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
However you got here, welcome. We’re happy to have you.
This is excellent, AdelaHope. I guess it might just be that I’m too immersed in Mormon feminism, but I’m often surprised that more women don’t come to it more quickly. As your post illustrates so well, there are a myriad of ways women can fall out of what is supposed to be the stereotypical Mormon experience. And that just adds to the fact that women are already on the outside looking in when it comes to church authority to begin with.
I remember a conversation I had with my mom years ago in which I was voicing a concern about something I had noticed and I prefaced it with “I know the Church isn’t sexist but…” and my mom responded immediately with “yes it is!”
I was shocked. You can just say that? You can just call the church sexist? If it would be sexist in any other organization it is also sexist in ours?
Maybe I might just be a litttttle bit feminist. Just a tiny bit.
Love it! You don’t know how thrilled I am to have found this site, and know that there are other Mormon women who share my same frustrations and concerns. My ward members, friends, and family members really don’t get it, and I’ve given up trying to talk to them about it. It feels much less hopeless and isolating to know I’m not alone!
Welcome, A.F.!
Make sure to join our Facebook group for more discussion!
Beautiful! Thank you so much for filling my heart with your words!!
Thanks for the welcome. I’ve been “trolled” on a few other LDS feminist sites for commenting and apparently doing feminism wrong because I’m so new to this stuff. I’m older and was raised to accept subjugation from male leaders as acceptable, so I ca’t seem to get empowerment right, though I desperately want to. I just keep accidentally using speech offensive to the movement, so I won’t be commenting often. I’m just too gauche for you young gals. But I sure love reading your posts!
I’m glad you’re here, Mary! I don’t always get it right, either, but I keep trying. Welcome!
All of this!