Thanks For The Feminism

Here’s to the Manly Men. To the pimply boys who dutifully protect women from opening their own door. To the overprotective hombres who mistake chauvinism for chivalry. To the dudebros who grace us with their unsolicited pictures. To the creepy, quiet incel leering in the corner. To the sweet old guy who just doesn’t believe girls, marvelous as they are, can do that.

Here’s to the unequal budgets, to the single-minded stories. To the voices that take up space with their proclamations. To the firey, fluid doctrine that has cooled to granite. To all the paternal advice of what we should be. To the Six B’s that never once mentioned bravery. To the people who only hire men. To the ones who taught us to always say ‘yes’ by always saying ‘no’. To the boys’ clubs, to misogyny, to Patriarchy in general —

Thanks for the Feminism. We never would have got here without you. 💋

PC: eren{sea+prairie}, Flickr.com

AdelaHope

AdelaHope used to be a little girl with a microphone, who loved her bicycle. She is now a woman with a family, a laptop, and a ukulele, who has dreams of traveling to beautiful, interesting places. She is currently living the mom-life while she works on a Master's degree in New England

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7 Responses

  1. Mindy says:

    When I read this, the image of boys walking past the OW line to get into the men’s session without even thinking twice about the grown women they were bypassing, comes to mind.

  2. JC says:

    I have to say, the line: “To the firey, fluid doctrine that has cooled to granite” is amazing writing in and of itself.

    Reading this reminded me of Mutual activities where the YW spent all their time doing Personal Progress while the YM were off riding go-carts, having taco eating contests, going to the movies, and being allowed to have FUN. It reminded me of how absolutely LAZY the YM’s program was allowed to be for so long: where many Personal Progress requirements took at least two weeks to sign off, most of the Duty to God requirements could be done in an hour, maybe two.

    And the first paragraph is a list of all the men single adult women are told they should settle for because “at least they’re not serial killers.”

    • Lizzie says:

      Or not non-members, or guys “unworthy” to serve missions. So many decent guys get passed over because they don’t check all the “right” boxes. And so many others think they’re entitled to a woman without working to earn her trust and respect just because they do.

      • JC says:

        Exactly. And so many of these entitled men think they have every right to reduce women to their physical attributes – especially their weight – and only focus on that. It’s sad to me. These men know the fullness of the gospel, hold the priesthood, have made temple covenants, and ought to know better than to only focus on what is skin deep.

        I wish the church did a better job of teaching girls, YW, and women in YSA/SA/MSA wards that there is so much more to a man being a good person than whether or not he is a member and served a mission. It’s better for them to marry a good, genuine, reliable, solid, and stable person person who isn’t a member of the church or didn’t serve a mission than it is to marry an RM/LDS man who is a jerk. On that note, it’s also better for them to be alone and to keep their independence than it is for them to be in hell with a RM/LDS man who treats them horribly.

        Church leaders on all levels need to stop normalizing and perpetuating the belief that a single woman should settle for any guy that will have her, and be willing to marry down simply because the guy is a member of the church. That mentality has done nothing but lead to heartache, resentment, and the loss of women’s voices and autonomy.

    • Ziff says:

      I agree, JC. I love that line, AdelaHope!

  3. Risa says:

    Absolutely fantastic.

  4. kim dillion says:

    Thank you! Had an experience at two TMOBILE stores this past week when I said “NO” to the hard sell. was kicked out of one shop and the other shop called the Sheriff’s Office on me, for saying NO! I will continue to be vocal, to stand up for myself, to decline the hard sell, and to continue to say NO to chauvinism in all its forms.

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