The Celebrity Life

by EmilyCC

Sometimes, I compare myself to celebrity moms who have kids the same age as my kids(because Gwen Stefani and I are SO similar–I mean we both have 2 boys, we pay someone to make us blonde, and…um…I guess that’s where the similarities end).

And, I occasionally get all bummed that I’m not as skinny as they are–like when Denise Richards and I had babies days apart, and then, 6 weeks later, she was modeling for Playboy when I was thinking, “Whoohoo! Size 10 here I come!” (Ok, that’s a lie; it wasn’t 6 weeks…it was 6 months.)

I guess I felt bad because Playboy didn’t ask me to model for them.

So, in February, when I read new Mormon Mommy Wars’ blogger, Melissa Mc’s (a great addition, MMW!) post about Gwenyth Paltrow’s Goop newsletter, I had to check it out. I heard she had some recipes on there, and I’m always looking for something tasty to make. I’m so glad I did because I now realize why I’ll never be as thin as a celebrity.

Clearly, I just don’t have the dedication.

Like I’m going to consume half a cup of castor oil to loose a few pounds? I’ve never been that desperate even when I was pregnant and hoped it might start labor. And, I don’t think I could eat most of those soups without, the remedy my friend found after drinking wheatgrass juice, a handful of chocolate chips–to get the soup’s taste out of my mouth.

I think I’ll go and enjoy some Cadbury eggs, and I’ll have an extra handful in honor of you, Gwenyth, because that’s the kind of big-hearted (and big-bottomed) gal I am.

(I’ll also try your biscuit recipe because it did look like a winner, and really, when I sound snotty, it’s because I’m totally jealous. I mean the closest thing I have to going to a Coldplay concert is when my pre-teen piano students play “Clocks” for me.)


EmilyCC lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her spouse and three children. She currently serves as a stake Just Serve specialists, and she recently returned to school to become a nurse. She is a former editor of Exponent II and a founding blogger at The Exponent.

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8 Responses

  1. Emily U says:

    “GOOP?” I can hardly think of a yuckier title for a newsletter about food.

    I actually thought her soups and smoothies sounded good. The trouble is, they’d be an appetizer for me, not a whole meal. If I ate like that I’d be starving all the time. But I’ve been thinking I want to lose some weight because I don’t want to start pregnancy #2 10 lbs over what I was at the beginning of pregnancy #1, and then end up 20 lbs heavier, etc., etc. So maybe I’ll give a few days of miso soup a try.

    Or maybe not.

    The one thing I feel better about after checking out Gwenyth’s GOOP is that she actually has to TRY to be skinny. It’s only fair that she has to work on it.

  2. Caroline says:

    Emily, I relate! I try not to look at magazines because I just feel like crap when I do. I already feel like crap when I look around at the 20 or so pregnant women in my ward, and see so many of them slender and pregnant. Whereas I just expand all over and pack on the 50 plus pounds – which of course I’ll never be able to completely take off.

    It is good to know about the disgusting things celebrities eat to stay slender. I may be chunky for the rest of my life, but at least I’ll enjoy my pizza.

  3. Deborah says:

    Yeah, yeah. I think life is must be easier with a personal chef. If I became president, that would be my favorite perk. 🙂

  4. EmilyCC says:

    Emily U, like you, I think most of the food wouldn’t be too bad as appetizers or light snacks. But, I do draw the line at drinking oil–it just isn’t my favorite way of consuming fat.

    Caroline, I think you are a darn cute pregnant woman! Are there really 20 other women in your ward who are pregnant? I’d hate to be that ward’s nursery leader in two years!

    Deborah, I agree, a personal chef would be a lovely perk. I fantasize about having one nearly every day around 4 pm.

  5. Caroline says:

    Yes, 20 women. But that’s not so bad compared to our 0-2 year old population. We have 60 kids in that age range. And 5 nurseries I think. Can you believe it? We need to split.

  6. VirtualM says:

    Yeah, must be nice to have 1) a personal chef 2) a personal trainer and 3) a nanny (or two) to watch your kids so you can spend 4 hours a day exercising. (oh and I forgot the house cleaner so that you don’t have to waste time on such trivial things.) That’s what it takes for 99% of celebrity moms. I’m currently kind of early in my pregnancy and, well, I’m already changing shape, even though I’ve disturbingly lost weight from morning sickness. I’m also quite short, so there’s nowhere for the weight to go and it just packs on EVERYWHERE. I’ll never be thin again, and I’m just learning to accept that it’s okay to have a deviant body 🙂

    I also feel like crap when I look at the other (skinny) pregnant ladies in my ward, but luckily there are other preggo’s that have fuller-figures and look fantastic. Besides, I could out-run most of the skinny ones any day before I got pregnant. Now I can out-puke them all!

  7. Emily U says:

    Emily CC, I totally agree with you on the drinking oil thing.

    Caroline – I gained 60 lbs with my pregnancy. I don’t know how some people stay skinny & pregnant. It’s not fair, but It think it’s genetic. Both of my sisters gain 50ish lbs in their pregnancies (and they bounce back down to size 4, damn them!).

    Aside from skinny pregnant women, the one thing I really couldn’t stomach during my pregnancy was the food advice in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” It made me feel like I was damaging my baby if I ate a doughnut. But it didn’t stop me from eating plenty of them.

  8. EmilyCC says:

    Caroline, holy crap! (that’s all I can think of to say…)

    VirtualM, one of my favorite things about getting older is that when I do look at someone else’s body I can see it for its beauty and not just be bummed that I don’t look like that. Sounds like you’ve got that down!

    Emily U, I’m so with you about What to Expect.

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