Relief Society Lesson 23: “How Good and How Pleasant It Is … to Dwell Together in Unity”

the daily bouquet
Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl

by EmilyCC

Ah! This is one of my favorite lessons to give! A chance for people to tell happy, uplifting stories that will mean more than any doctrinal insights I could provide. I’d just keep asking people to share their stories, to brainstorm about how to make this unity happen. (If your class isn’t into sharing stories, I’ve listed some additional places I think has good stories. Please share your’s in the comment field.)

But, even as we get to revel in the happy stories, I would push them to consider what unity looks like. Is unity when we all agree about the “right” doctrine, direction of the Church, even who is in what callings? Later in this lesson, President Smith talks about evil workers who will destroy unity. Do we sometimes decide people are upsetting unity because they don’t share our opinions?

The rest of the text in regular font is directly from the manual, the italics are my comments and questions.

I love the opening story about the unifying force of building the Kirtland temple. I would open with this. 

Have you been involved in a Church project that brought about this kind of unity?

The efforts of the Kirtland Saints were typical of the unity, sacrifice, and devotion that would make it possible for the Lord’s purposes to be fulfilled in the years to come. This was one of many times when the Saints would pull together, heeding the admonition of the Prophet Joseph Smith: “A long pull, a strong pull, and a pull all together.”6

What do you think led the Saints to be so unified? Could this be replicated? Does it have to be a big, grand movement?

“We are glad indeed to know that there is such a spirit of union existing throughout the churches, at home and abroad, on this continent, as well as on the islands of the sea; for by this principle, and by a concentration of action, shall we be able to carry into effect the purposes of our God.”7

Do you feel like this statement can apply to us as a Church today? How can we promote unity as we become a more integrated world-wide Church?

I liked Chieko Okazaki’s “Baskets and Bottles” and think there are some good parts that can help spur the above discussion. 

“We feel at this time to tender to all, old and young, both in the Church and out of it, our unfeigned thanks for their unprecedented liberality, kindness, diligence, and obedience, which they have so opportunely manifested on the present occasion. Not that we are personally or individually benefitted in a pecuniary point of view, but when the brethren, as in this instance, show a unity of purpose and design, and all put their shoulder to the wheel, our care, labor, toil and anxiety are materially diminished, our yoke is made easy and our burden is light [see Matthew 11:30].”8

I think that Visiting Teaching is one way we can make each other’s burdens lighter and bring about unity. Do you have experiences where doing Visiting Teaching has brought about unity with the people you visit teach or those who visit teach you?“The work in which we are unitedly engaged is one of no ordinary kind. The enemies we have to contend against are subtle and well skilled in maneuvering; it behooves us to be on the alert to concentrate our energies, and that the best feelings should exist in our midst; and then, by the help of the Almighty, we shall go on from victory to victory, and from conquest to conquest; our evil passions will be subdued, our prejudices depart; we shall find no room in our bosoms for hatred; vice will hide its deformed head, and we shall stand approved in the sight of heaven, and be acknowledged the sons of God.


What enemies do you see that can upset the unity we are striving for? What can we do to guard against these enemies?

“We would say to the Saints that come here [to Nauvoo], we have laid the foundation for the gathering of God’s people to this place, and [we] expect that when the Saints do come, they will be under the counsel that God has appointed. … We are trying here to gird up our loins, and purge from our midst the workers of iniquity; and we hope that when our brethren arrive from abroad, they will assist us to roll forth this good work, and to accomplish this great design, that ‘Zion may be built up in righteousness; and all nations flock to her standard;’ that as God’s people, under His direction, and obedient to His law, we may grow up in righteousness and truth; that when His purposes shall be accomplished, we may receive an inheritance among those that are sanctified.”11

(tread carefully here, but I think this is the important part of the lesson): How can we be sure that we are “purging workers of iniquity?” Sometimes, we won’t be unified in our voices? What then? How can we still work together to bring about God’s purpose?

“We, all of us, have our friends, our connections, our families and associations; and we find that the ties of friendship … and brotherhood have indissolubly united us together with a thousand endearing associations; we have embraced the one common faith, even that ‘which was once delivered to the saints.’ [Jude 1:3.] We have been privileged with hearing the everlasting gospel, which has been delivered unto us by the spirit of prophecy, by the opening of the heavens, by the gift of the Holy Ghost, by the ministering of angels, and by the power of God. … A kindred sympathy runs through the whole body, even the body of Christ, which, according to Paul’s statement, is his church; and no one part of the body can be injured without the other parts feeling the pain, for says Paul, if one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; and if one member rejoice all the rest are honored with it [see 1 Corinthians 12:12–27].”12

Ah, the body of Christ! If you’ve read our Exponent blog, you may notice this is one of my favorite themes. And, I would expand this quote by looking at the scripture cited at the end. Here, we are reminded that we are all unified as members of the body of Christ, and yet, we all have different purposes.

“The greatest temporal and spiritual blessings which always flow from faithfulness and concerted effort, never attended individual exertion or enterprise. The history of all past ages abundantly attests this fact. …
“We would wish the Saints to understand that, when they come here, they must not expect perfection, or that all will be harmony, peace, and love; if they indulge these ideas, they will undoubtedly be deceived, for here there are persons, not only from different states, but from different nations, who, although they feel a great attachment to the cause of truth, have their prejudices of education, and, consequently, it requires some time before these things can be overcome. Again, there are many that creep in unawares, and endeavor to sow discord, strife, and animosity in our midst, and by so doing, bring evil upon the Saints. … Therefore, let those who come up to this place be determined to keep the commandments of God, and not be discouraged by those things we have enumerated, and then they will be prospered—the intelligence of heaven will be communicated to them, and they will, eventually, see eye to eye, and rejoice in the full fruition of that glory which is reserved for the righteous.

How can we show love when we feel like unity is threatened? What can we do in these cases? How have you dealt with these in the past?

Additional Resources:
Henry B. Eyring’s “Our Hearts Knit as One”  I love this talk!

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich and Emma Lou Thayne’s All God’s Critters Got a Place in the Choir  Emma Lou and Laurel wrote much of this book as a column in Exponent II. I found so many good little stories about unity here (note: must reread this book!), but I couldn’t find one short enough to include here.  If you can get your hands on this book, there are some gems.

Chieko N. Okazaki’s Aloha!  Great sections in here about unity but again, not quite short enough to include here.  I thought she had another talk besides the one I referenced above about unity, but I couldn’t find it on

Jill Mulvay Derr, Janath Russell Cannon, and Maureen Ursenbach Beecher’s Women of Covenant: the Story of Relief Society if you’d like some historical stories about how the Relief Society worked towards unity, this is the place to look!


EmilyCC works for a national non-profit and lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her spouse and three children. She is a former editor of Exponent II and a founding blogger at The Exponent.

You may also like...

10 Responses

  1. Caroline says:

    Great lesson and great resources! (Who wrote this, by the way?)

  2. Joni says:

    Thank You for your help with this lesson, I am preparing now for next week, I appreciate your thoughts!

  3. Tracie says:

    Any ideas on tying in a Christmas theme for this lesson?

  4. Deborah says:

    Tracie: One of my favorite examples of spiritual unity is the meeting of Mary and Elizabeth when they are both expecting. Mary turns to her for refuge. Elizabeth recognizes Mary’s distinct mission. Even their children-in-utero seem united. Mary, in this circle of acceptance, then speaks the gorgeous poem/prophecy (the magnificat). After the loneliness that must have accompanied her initial vision, Mary must have felt — upon meeting her “sister” — “How Good and how pleasant it is . . . to dwell together in unity.”

  5. Tracie says:

    Deborah I cant thank you enough! That is perfect – what a wonderful thought and incredible example thank you!

  6. EmilyCC says:

    Leave it to Deborah to come up with the perfect tie-in!

    (Deborah, Nate used your eternal truths lesson today for his EQ class; he loved the stuff you had posted.)

  7. Joni W says:

    Can’t thank you enough for your comments and ideas. What a help for an inexperienced teacher like myself. Will surely be checking in monthly for ideas!

  8. Evelyn says:

    Any ideas on an object lesson?

  9. Kiri Close says:

    I would also like the lesson/discussion to be open to sisters who their unique singularity, rather than always ‘grouping’ their singularity. There’s something super strong inside me when I veer away from the conventional LDS & it has nothing to do with a quilt metaphor.

  10. Heidi says:

    I had a great time preparing and teaching this lesson. I made a Christmas paper chain and attached it to the front chalkboard. We talked about the synonyms of unity and how we build our unity in our homes, our community and in our wards. We then talked about the antonyms of unity. As the sisters talked about the antonyms I tore the chain apart so the sisters could see what happens when we choose not to be united. As we then talked about building unity I had another sister put the chain back together. It was a great object lesson for the sisters.

Leave a Reply to Deborah Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.