The Hymnal Revised
The church is currently working on a new, revised hymnal. Some of the clear and pure doctrine that we hear from the pulpit was not represented musically in the old version. This is my humble offering, which will also be very helpful for the month we spend teaching the Young Women about the priesthood. Sung to “Ye Elders of Israel” — it is still intended for a male only chorus, which is fully inclusive if you only understood.
Ye sisters of Israel, who wish they could be Ordained to the priesthood, at pulpits be seen — Aaronic, Melchezidek, to serve and to lead Now cease from your moaning, for you are a Queen.
Chorus: O heretics, O heretics we bid thee farewell; Outspoken critiques are a ticket to Hell.
You don’t need the priesthood, but you can be sure That men would be evil if not pushed to abjure Their carnal deeds and devilish thoughts always impure They need to make decisions and lead to endure.
Motherhood is kind of the same thing as control Of administration and ward leadership roles Women wield the priesthood through husbands that we extol You’re single? Or childless? Well, there’s a loophole.
All women are mothers, so really they all Have the same status and privilege as the men that we call You don’t need the priesthood (which you already hold) So don’t be resentful we’ve left you in the cold.
If you need me I’ll be skulking within the shadow of the everlasting hills, being snarky this day, and always.