Posted by Zenaida
I’ve been thinking about the nature of spirituality, and what is it, really, that I’m supposed to be looking for when I read the scriptures or attend church. I think I can honestly say I’ve never experienced a “burning in the bosom.” I have experienced feelings of peace and felt my soul (for lack of a better term) resonate with truth, but not necessarily in strictly spiritual settings, usually when something makes sense to me or while listening to amazing music. It has happened in both religious and secular settings.
For example, I sat in a yoga practice where we were asked to join in a chant. As I lifted my voice, I felt what I can only describe as a spiritual experience (also feeling so
mewhat guilty for finding spirituality in a setting other than the three-hour block). But, even as I characterize it as a spiritual experience, it doesn’t lead me to the conclusion that I need to drop everything and convert to Hinduism or Buddhism. It was a feeling of unity and being connected with everyone in the room. In many ways, if I am honest with my own characterizations of feelings, I would not equate them with the conclusions that we are told they should bring. I have fabricated emotional responses because I knew they were expected. At my own baptism when I was eight, I worked myself into tears because I knew I should be overwhelmed with the Spirit, and that’s what happens to people when they feel it.
So often, I see emotionalism equated with spirituality. Is it a matter of faith to attribute the feelings of guidance to someone divine? Am I simply trying to grow into adulthood and not be guided in everything I do? What if these feelings of spirituality lead me outside the church? Are they from God, and hwy would I be lead away from the one true church? Perhaps because I am unwilling to receive it from the church when I feel betrayed and resentful?
How has spirituality played a role in finding peace in questioning for you?