What the heck is a TBM?
In progressive Mormon circles, TBM is shorthand often used to describe members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) who attend church regularly, follow church standards and have orthodox views about gospel doctrine. No one seems to know for sure what it abbreviated originally but most people say it stands for either “True Blue Mormon” or “True Believing Mormon.”
Why I don’t say TBM
- It is a pejorative; most often used by progressive and post Mormons to describe people they see as less enlightened, less open-minded and more judgmental than themselves.
- No one self-identifies as TBM (at least, not in the present tense). I have met many, many active church members, and not a single one of them has described themselves to me as TBM. I do occasionally hear people describe themselves as former TBMs, but did any of them ever call themselves that when they were in that mental space? I don’t think so.
- It “others” people and stereotypes them. Contrary to the assumptions of some, many of the people who participate in progressive Mormon circles, including myself, do participate in the church organization in a way that could cause others to describe us as TBM. Not every progressive Mormon you meet on the internet is the same; nor is everyone who inhabits a brick and mortar church building.
Why I don’t stop others from saying it
- Most people who say it don’t mean to be offensive. I anticipate that several comments on this post will come from people explaining that they say TBM and don’t mean anything bad by it. I believe you.
- Conversations about orthodoxy are hard; even harder if someone is policing you and derailing the conversation to scold you for using inelegant terminology.
- The term provides a shorthand way to convey a lot of meaning quickly. And I get it, a three-letter term is much easier to type (and read) than a more nuanced but much longer essay.
- Many of the terms that active church members do use to describe themselves would not work. Faithful? Like other people aren’t faithful? Saints? Yeah, right. And now we can’t even say Mormon anymore!
So if the term TBM falls off your lips (or your keyboard) in my presence, don’t expect any objection on my part. But I would invite you, right now, to take a moment and consider some questions.
- If you usually grant people the respect of calling them by the self-identifiers they choose for themselves, why wouldn’t you in this case?
- If you don’t intend to be offensive, is it wise to use a term that is most often applied in rants or complaints and virtually never to say something complimentary?
- Don’t you think you’re being a bit judgmental, when you label all of those other people as judgmental?
- Is there any other way to express your meaning that doesn’t lump so many passive bystanders, perhaps even some of the people you are talking to, into one big stereotype?
Thanks for this. I especially like your point that it is hard to talk about orthodoxy and that by using other terms that orthodox Mormons might use for themselves, they also exclude other people who would also claim that label.
Yes, its usefulness as a label has worn out, and has now become a way to categorize people broadly without really taking the time to digest how they think about a variety of topics.
I’m pretty sure it originates from the story of Joseph F Smith, “are you a mormon?”
“Yes siree; dyed in the wool, true blue, through and through.”
I have friends who are progressive feminists who describe themselves as True Blue Mormons (in the context they they were born Mormon and will be forever, even with a variety beliefs on the spectrum) who really dislike TBM as a pejorative for rigidly orthodox beliefs or practices. It doesn’t necessarily match their experience, but they’re just as “true blue” as someone in the mainstream.
I think that another term would just take its place. It’s a pretty generous term. I think we do need a way to refer in general to the type of mainstream Mormon that makes many of us feel so unsafe.
minus the ones a person uses to self-identify, I think using any label that short-cuts actually getting to know a person in favor of lumping them together in a group with a name that has positive connotations for some and negative connotations for others can lead to unnuanced dismissiveness when considering that person as an individual. I think that’s a generally unfavorable dynamic in relationships and communication patterns.
I disagree. I’m glad that the author pointed out that she’s never ask anyone else to refrain from using it because it’s an easy way to shorthand and in these kind of spaces most everyone will know what you mean. And if you’re a “TBM” in this group who can’t see why people would need to come up with a word, maybe spend more time thinking about how the church and its members have seriously harmed so many. And I cringe at treating Mormons or any Christians like a marginalized class. Referring to someone as TBM isn’t at all the same as misgendering or using a racial slur. Just IMHO
Just as when all car transitions were “standard” we didn’t need a word for a standard transmission, when people are true believing, or true blue Mormons, they don’t bother to call themselves that, because they see it as all there is. They are Mormon. You are either TBM (Mormon, or whatever prophet followers are calling themselves now days) or apostate. Frankly, find what TBMs would call me to be much more offensive than calling someone TBM.
So, now that there are New Order Mormons, progressive Mormons, Jack Mormons, inactive Mormons, semi active Mormons, liberal Mormons, and post Mormons, how do you suggest that us partial Mormons label Mormons who are still fully in and fully prophet following to differentiate them from all of us half out the door Mormons? This is a serious question. What do you propose?
Our current prophet is bothered because *SOME* people use the term “Mormon” as a derogatory term. So, he doesn’t want us to use it. But it becomes like the word “cemetery.” We used to call it a grave yard, but that was spooky because that is where dead people are buried. Now “cemetery” is spooky, so it is “Memorial gardens.” Pretty soon “memorial gardens” will become a spooky word and we will have to find another word for where we bury dead people. I agree with Juliet. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
My husband is TBM and I love him to pieces and would never use a term I felt that insulted him. Sure, some people are going to use it as an insult because they think anyone who is loyal to the LDS church is stupid. Those people will use any term you want to call “prophet following believing Mormons” as an insult because they have no respect for any kind of believing Mormon. Changing the term will not change how they use the new term as an insult, any more that not using “Mormon” will convince Evangelicals that we are really Christian.
A Tiger by another name still has stripes and changing what you call it won’t make people who are terrified of tigers change their minds and think huge striped pussy cats are friendly. Changing what us “apostates” call TBMs won’t make the haters respect TBMs and it will just take away a term that us half out the door Mormons use to say that people are still fully in. Just like calling “Mormons” members of the restored Church of J. C. of L D S will only confuse people who still want to define us as different than they are.
Agree with all of this. It isn’t necessarily the words we’re using, but if we’re using them to build people up, or tear them down.
I tell my kids this all the time around “swear” words. You could never use a swear word in your life, but still be using your words to hurt other people. For me, there aren’t good or bad words, there are good or bad motivations to using them.
@Anna
You said, “Our current prophet is bothered because SOME people use the term “Mormon” as a derogatory term. So, he doesn’t want us to use it.”
However, if you listen to President Nelson’s address, Jesus Christ is at the center of His church, not Mormon. And it is not the prophet who doesn’t want us to use the term “Mormon” but Christ. Here are His words when he visited the American continent:
“And how be it my church save it be called in my name? For if a church be called in Moses’ name then it be Moses’ church; or if it be called in the name of a man then it be the church of a man; but if it be called in my name then it is my church, if it so be that they are built upon my gospel” (3 Nephi 27:8).
I really think it has less to do with labeling individuals and more to do with correctly identifying yourself as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Looking at the updated style guide for publications of the Church, you will notice that members of the Church can be referred to as “Saints” or “the Saints” for shorthand.
Shorthand for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is “the Church.” However, each instance of “Church” should be able to be replaced by the full title.
So, you wouldn’t say, “Church members,” (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints members), but rather, “members of the Church,” (members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)
TBM is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. For me, orthodoxy in the Church is strict adherence to Abrahamic and Christian doctrines and ordinances rather than temporary policies of the Church that are apt to change. One biblical example: the law of Moses; one latter-day example: rebaptism.
The Saints will continue to be sanctified; as policies change, some will denounce their membership in the Church, making room for Saints around the world.
My advice in regard to policy comes from Joseph Smith: “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” (Messages of the First Presidency, comp. James R. Clark, 6 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 3:54.)
So, after study and instruction, use the Spirit to govern yourself amidst latter-day policy nuances. No one is perfect, including our prophets and leaders of the Church.
Oh, and when my husband is around alternate Mormons, he does call himself TBM to differentiate himself from those of us who are culturally Mormon or semi, kinda Mormon, but no longer fully in.
On social media, some people have called me out for Question 1, which they see as disrespectful to marginalized genders/sexual orientations. I appreciate that feedback, and acknowledge and apologize for my blind spot as a cis hetero woman in that regard. What I was thinking of when I wrote the post was not related to gender identification at all, but to my work with religious activists from a variety of faith communities which requires me to learn how people choose to be identified religiously instead of labeling them. But again, I am sure that if it weren’t for my blind spot as a cis hetero woman, I would have foreseen that I should have phrased that differently.
I would like to reiterate that while I am advising against the use of the term TBM in this post, I do not see the use of the word TBM to be as serious an offense as the persecution of marginalized communities, and that is one of the reasons why I stated that I do not find it necessary to try to stop others from saying it.
Now I just want to know which kind of church member I am. Anyone have a Buzzfeed quiz I can take??
What a very thought producing post. Thank you! I feel every single point and comment here has merit. I agree I can be a bit more respectful in how I talk about orthodox members, but also agree that they do use the offensive label apostate for anyone who disagrees with them and that is so very hateful and judgemental that TBM IS generous in comparison.
I don’t agree. It IS a derogatory term… Apostate is an accurate descriptor and definition. Whereas… Mormons don’t exist.
There is no “church of Mormon”
So why would any self-respecting member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints agree to a label, of something that doesn’t exist?
Mark, I absolutely agree with Evangelina that apostate is a derogatory term. I can tell that you are opposed to using derogatory terms, since you are advocating against a term that feels derogatory to you, so perhaps just take our word for it and avoid using the term “apostate.”
This
Brigham Young almost always referred to himself and other church members as Mormons. Unless he was in the temple preaching the word. Outside of Zion while speaking to gentiles and politicians he referred to himself and other church members as Mormon. He also smoked cigars on occasion. In fact it is in several well documented publications of the time. That he enjoyed a cigar while meeting with Ulysses S. Grant at both their meetings in 1868 as President Elect Grant to discuss the railroad and when Grant came to Utah in 1875 as President. It’s reported that when Grant offered a fine cigar to BY he gladly accepted. But he refused the fine bourbon when offered at the first meeting in Wyoming. If Brigham Young could call himself a Mormon and enjoy a cigar then I guess I can too. Good enough for me.
I see several problems here. Labels such as these, are usually never self-imposed and almost always derogatory in connotation or denotation or inference.
Allowing others to label you or categorize you or put you in a corner… Is just that…
There is no church of Mormon therefore there are no Mormons…
Allowing others to associate you with a group that doesn’t even exist, doesn’t make sense at all.
The term “Mormons” began as a derogatory way to dehumanize people that were being abused, at the early formation of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and giving THAT derogatory term ANY voice is self defeating for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
You don’t see ANY other group allowing the use of a derogatory slang term to describe them, label them, identify them or put them in a corner…
We are not Mormons, there’s no such thing.
There are several examples across history of people adapting and choosing to use terms that originated as derogatory, and I would argue that “Mormon” is one of these. While Pres. Nelson clearly dislikes it (much in the same way I dislike TBM!) his predecessors, Pres. Monson and Pres. Hinkley, embraced it and even advertised our church with the “I’m a Mormon” campaign. Who knows, maybe someday, orthodox members will appropriate TBM and its current derogatory meaning will evolve.
The name “Christian” was originally used as a derisive term against early followers of Christ.
I remember when I was TBM being hypersensitive to being called Mormon after Nelson finally had his way and instituted his “don’t say Mormon” agenda after 30 years of trying. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time and after some mental gymnastics, decided without any research that “Mormon” was a pejorative used by people who hated the early church (little did I know that early Mormons hardly embrace the term Mormon along with literally every Mormon profit until Nelson).
Either way, a name is what you make it. TBM is far less of a pejorative than apostate, lazy learner, or unruly child, all of which have been directed at those who leave the church over the pulpit but anointed leadership. I’m just grateful the church no longer publicly shames people by publishing their names in the newspaper when they leave or are excommunicated or worse yet, hunting us down so they can kill us to spill our blood on the ground and blood atone our sin of apostasy.
So yes, we use TBM along with terms like “still in” or “active.” I don’t understand twisting any of these things into some sort of epithet. I know the persecution complex within the church is rampant, but I would honestly recommend taking a look at the realistic position people who leave the church occupy. I understand to an extent as when I was TBM, I was always subconsciously on the lookout for any behavior or discourse that could be interpreted as persecution. Of course, I only knew half the story of why persecution occurred in church history, and now that I know the full story, the things that the early Mormons endured make perfect sense to me. You don’t get to murder, defraud, rape, consolidate political power, and then threaten to kill anyone who doesn’t convert to your religion without making some enemies.
Thank goodness the modern Church has abandoned its roots and current members are much more tolerant and kinds in their fore-bearers. With that in mind, if holding the opinion that TBM is justification for a continued persecution fetish, that’s just fine. I’m just saying that no one is here to hurt you. Now, if TBM meant something like “True B*****d Mormon” or something like that, I could see this argument but that’s just not the case. I
Hmmm. You don’t stop others from saying it? That’s because you do not have the right or authority to do that. You are not the boss.
It is unbelievable how self-obsessed you mormons are.
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I’m not nor have I ever been in the LDS church, but I find this so interesting. I’m fascinated by the exmo and progressive Mormon communities, and offer my support to anyone having a crisis of faith. (I was raised Roman Catholic and am no longer a believer, but I consider myself an ethical humanist who respects the beliefs of anyone who does not have hatred or violence as part of their doctrine.) I never would have guessed that TBM could be considered derogatory, though, so I’m glad I found your blog. Thank you for the thoughtful education. I look forward to reading more.
Is there a reason we can’t use the term “active LDS”? That seems like a compromise that both sides are okay with (short enough for convenience, not offensive like TBM, etc.).
When you give respect, you get it, and then we can have productive, intelligent, grown-up conversations.
Why not just call them Orthodox?
I think TBM is a poor description because even the most ardent members don’t really believe all of it. For example, if they did, they’d follow all of the Word of Wisdom, not just the modern restrictions. Dig deeper and you can easily find many other examples. Since Mormon orthodoxy is constantly evolving, referred to as modern revelation; why not apply the same label used for other religious movements?
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